OPEN LETTER TO MY SON

A_BLACK_FATHER_AND_SON_PICTURED_AT_AN_OUTDOOR_WORSHIP_SERVICE_AT_CHICAGO'S_WRIGLEY_FIELD_DURING_THE_JEHOVAH'S_WITNESS..._-_NARA_-_556146My dear adorable son, I love you very, very much. My love is without condition and I honestly hope that you’ll forever know that, no matter your age or how stubborn you’ll become, I’ll always love you unconditionally.

A recent incident has prompted me to write this open letter to you, and I do hope I’ll have trained you well enough to read it with an open mind.

While you were barely two years old, I went to a children’s birthday party with you. And feeling like a proud father, I took pictures of us and posted them online. A ‘friend’ saw the picture and gave me a call – two friends actually, but I’ll focus on the first. He said and I quote, “Guy, your son is too fine, way too fine. You better not send him to a boarding school. Send him to a day school, so we don’t get another gay convert. We already have enough gays; we don’t need to add your son as one more.”

Now, son, I don’t want to go into how stupid that comparison of schools is, but I was not proud of my next reaction; I simply laughed and told the caller that I wouldn’t send you to a boarding school. However, on the way home, I was bothered by the call. The cheek of the caller started to vex me, and I had to change my earlier ‘gentleman’ agreement. I thereafter sent him a message, and here is an abridged version of our conversation.

ME: Knowing how hard it is to be gay in this country, I wouldn’t wish it upon my son. But if it happens, then my son would be the luckiest guy in the whole world to have me as a father.

HIM: Calm down, I was only kidding. I did not say your son is gay.

ME: My boy is barely two years old. His sexuality or anything pertaining to sex should not be joked about. But when he starts dating, male or female, I hope he is comfortable enough to tell me, so I can protect him from the likes of YOU.

HIM: What do you mean from the likes of me? So you’ll be happy if your son is gay?

ME: I did not say I’ll be happy. I won’t be sad either. I’ll only do what is right by him, and that is to love him unconditionally, no matter what. It is what I’m supposed to do; it is what all parents are supposed to do. Love your child unconditionally.

Now, listen to me, son, the message I want to you to take away from this is that I’ll always be here for you through the good times and the bad. Life will be tough. People will not be what they claim to be. You will meet the good and the bad. But, realize that I’ll always be here, should you want to talk about it. When you start dating – and yes, I fear that day – but when it comes, please treat her right and make her feel special. Should you discover your feelings are for a boy, treat him right still.

That’s right! You heard me. Treat him right. People will frown upon what you feel, but know that I’ll still love you unconditionally. I pray I’ll be the father you’ll forever be comfortable to talk to, because with me in your camp, you’ll always be ready to take on the world.

This message also goes to your sisters, you all have to band together, for nothing can tear you apart when you do, not the world and their talk of who any of you sleeps with. It will not make any of you poorer, richer, better human beings or better looking than you already are. What matters is your heart. So, make it happy by doing what is right, living right and treating people right. Love whoever you want, but love them right and you shall be loved right in return.

Remember this: I’ll always love you unconditionally, whatever your sexual choices end up to be. Daddy has your back.

Written by Colossus

86 thoughts on “OPEN LETTER TO MY SON

    • Google the topic and be suprised, Bro. All though they’re quite few, but there are some understanding and accepting parents here.

      • Going back to the topic, i dont see a straight nigerian dude being comfortable with
        the idea of a gay son., as a bi son? i dont know.

      • @Gad, oh okay, one hear and learn new thing everyday. A comfortable and open minded
        straight nigerian Pop c

      • A straight nigerian dad being comfortable with the idea? hmm, i doubt.
        In a homophobic and judgemental enviroment such as Nigeria, i wouldnt
        want my children to have to to deal with that, it is too much weight.

      • Lol, let just say it is too much weight in a clime such as 9ja. Experimemting, dabble occasionally,
        curious, sure but full time G, mba 9ja clime is sure too harsh for that. Dudes are just putting on
        brave face, e no easy .

      • I am aware of the environmental conditions in 9Ja. You still haven’t answered my question. What would you do, if your son says he is gay?😳

      • and Keredim69, my view, if you read it carefully, i said i wouldnt want them to deal with such “enviromental
        conditions”, in 9ja, yes. Beating and starving as you suggested dont change or affect in the long term a
        person’s sexuality as you know. Okey dokey.

      • I watched a programme on Wendy William show couple of weeks ago where she said, once a child becomes an adult, the love becomes conditional , an adult child have to earn that love from the parent,
        i agree to an extent.

      • That’s her opinion. You are entitled to yours too @ uncle Chris. Most parents love remains unconditional regardless of age even in death.

      • @keredim69, if i can assist to relocate the child yes , based on his willingness to want to relocate. It is my duty as a parent and also as a person with alternative lifestyle to advice and support the child, whether he stays in Nigeria or abroad.

      • Well said, and I agree with you. But please do not raise/love your child based on the tenets of a 50 year old black woman who used to be a ghetto DJ, who now thinks she is an 18 year old white preppy girl. Please don’t.😒
        Like you said to me before “keep it real”👊🏿👊🏿

      • Chop knuckle Keredim69, i most def keep it real at all times, no doubt , no shading.
        But with the heavy shade you darken Wendy with, OYO oh, sorry.:)

      • As for me, i kindof like her somehow, they dont come realer than that.
        She’s got her flaws but who doesnt, you know..

      • Yes Gad as i stated i agree with her to an extent, it was the way she analysed it, almost the whole audience agreed with her, it wasnt a subject to do with sexuality though, just to highlight that.

  1. Wow!! So profound … my eyes actually filled with tears… do fathers such as these exist? Especially in our corner of the world?

  2. Hmmm.

    The notion that boys who are too fine are gay, and are the only eligible ‘converts’ to the gay community.

  3. Sometimes I feel my mum would totally understand if I open up to her cuz she treats me differently,like a special child and now she even shuts my siblings up whenever they bring the gf topic up. I would love to have a gay child buh definitely not in this homophobic environment

  4. *standing ovation* This is 110/100

    Colossus you’ve helped me settle some nagging issues that I’ve been thinking about in the last few days.
    – Do i really want kids or is it just wishful thinking on my part
    – If yes, would i be a great father
    – Would i do right by my kids and protect them from the nay sayers
    – Would i love them unconditionally and standby them through thick and thin.

    This piece just solidifies my stance with children, I probably may not be the world’s greatest dad, but woe betide me that I won’t be the best dad ever to my kids.

  5. Sorry,
    I can’t read this.
    I’ll only be hurting and bringing back caged memories.

    Sorry Colossus.
    Sorry PP

    I just can’t.

  6. 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿😢😢😢👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿😢😢😢😢👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿

  7. This is what a parent should be. Nice piece. Anyway I don’t have the patience for kids so they are out of the equation for me.

  8. When pinky told me abt this piece along time ago. i was eager to see the piece.. That was so special. And trust me, it lived upto expectation. I really was touched. I’m going to be a father one day, hopefully soon. I hope to be the best father ever for my kids.
    But would I want my First son or maybe only son to be a gay? Hmmm.. That’s a tough one. I’ll keep my answers to my self.

    I don’t get to say this regularly on here but this was an Amazing piece.

    #TryingNotToFamzPinkyAndColossus

    • Lol. Don’t worry, we don’t feel famzed. About your question of wanting your first son or only son to be gay… I want to understand. Does it make it better if its your second or third son who’s gay?

      • To be honest I think.. It makes it much better for me. (Key word ‘For me’) I don’t think I’ll be comfortable having my first son being gay or my only son. But in a situation were that occurs.. I’ll surely give him my unconditional.. I have learnt from experience (talking abt my dad knowing abt me) and I know better than to do otherwise.

      • Tef, you lost me here. This whole not-my-first-not-my-only-son-maybe-my-second-son issue. What difference does it make? Like the responsibilities as a first son will make him less gay or what? I can’t deal.

    • Loool keredim you’re up to no good this Wednesday morning. Gist dey enter gist and a little teaser can be spilled. Nothing wrong with that is there?

      • Keredim ‘he needs to refute the bogus claim’ My question exactly is.. To what end? It will make you sleep better at night? It would make PP richer? Or by refuting the claims it would make the world a better place?
        Not everything on KD is what it seems And definitely not everything off KD you must know or bring on here (Evil stare at Mr Virginity).

        PP is actually a swt person outside of KD.
        #StillTryingNotToFamzPinky

        So Mr KereDimBrains try not to cause an unneccesary unrest today. Not in the mood.

      • Tef, chill.
        Stop playing victim biko.
        It only points towards paranoia.
        You can’t laugh off somethings?
        Be not so rigid.

      • Masked man trust me.. I’ve laughed off a lot of things.. My problem actually is Mr Keredims’ poor act at being funny.. At my expense ofcuz (something I’m used to by now) he only ended up looking like a ‘poor mans Colossus’ with his galling sacarsm.

  9. I have no remote interest whatsoever in being a parent ever but this was very touching.

    Colossus good one but I already know what kind of father you are so I am not surprised.

    Happy children’s day to all your bundles of cuteness

  10. Can you imagine a father,s love? its normal for parents to love,support and protect their children UNCONDITIONALLY. There is nothing extra ordinary about the wonderful Dad portrayed in the article. Thats the way all Dads ought to be. Anything less is a shortcoming.Dad,s are supposed to be the mirror through which God,s love is seen but unfortunately many usually fail to see the love behind the frowns and spanks.This article is a colossal delight to read

    • “but unfortunately many usually fail to see the love behind the frowns and spanks”
      Quick Question Gad.. So my dad doesn’t understand my sexuality and there by he does everything in his power to make me go the way he wants.. Which includes stripping me of certian privileges (your idea of spanks right?) this is however the way he knows how to show that he truly loves me (being old sch man that he is) whereas he could have just accepted me for who I am and love me unconditionally regardless of my sexuality. So my question now Gad, is my father wrong for treating me in such a way? After all that’s is his idea of showing love? Correcting the beloved child.. To the way that he knows. The bible said ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’ (As he is old sch and can’t comprehend my sexuality)

      • Look at it this way Tef; a learned Judge can only give judgements (right or wrong) based on the facts presented before him. No one can know above his knowledge because none is omniscient. Your Dad did what he thought was best for you within the confines of the limitations of his knowledge. I’m sure if he is convinced otherwise, he will also act otherwise.

  11. Lmaooooo som1 said Wendy isnt real!as if theres any other realest bitch out there than wendy.She says it like she means it.I dont ever pray to have a gay child “son” the stress isnt just worth it,its alot infact being gay in nigeria is super exhausting so much risk out there,many perverts,i know what have been through in this short life and cant wish it upon my child.Let him have a regular simple hetero life devoid of drama were he wont have to pretend and live a lie everyday of his life feeling as if u are living som1 else’s live,even Bruce a whiteman had to waste 65yrs of his life living a lie and now is transitioning.Well thats if i ever have a child i wish to but not even sure i can makelove to a woman.

  12. Awww too sweet… I and my dad are quite close, sometimes we just sit gistin and laughing hard & it amazes me how open and understanding he can be when it comes to certain issues. &sometimes I just wanna tell him bout my sexual preference,but then again I wouldn’t wanna push my luck dat far.

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