JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 21)

Blog_KD JournalNovember 25

Quite a number of times, the question of what is wrong with Nigeria comes up. Why is a country as blessed and rich as ours so messed up and finding it hard to get her act together?

Over the years I’ve heard a lot of common answers: the government, corruption, terrible education, the fact that we were colonised… yada, yada, yada.

Sure, these are all problems. However they are not THE problem. What’s wrong with Nigeria? You and me.

Nothing is going to change in this country if we keep pointing fingers at each other, thinking we personally are not to blame.

These leaders you see up there, they didn’t spring from the cesspools of corruption and greed just like that. They were once normal citizens like us…citizens that got to become the elite. They were brought up to believe that stealing and half-truths are normal. Continue reading

‘We Follow a Jesus I Do Not Recognize.’ Rev. Colin Coward in a Facebook Rant

colin-coward-the-independentThe Rev. Colin Coward, MBE, director of Changing Attitude England, recently wrote on Facebook about his displeasure with homophobia in Africa and the distortion of Christianity by those who are anti-homosexuality. Read below.

‘I feel incredibly angry today. I’ve been chatting for the last hour and a half with a gay Nigerian friend, a quiet, thoughtful, stable young man who allowed himself to trust a ‘friend’ who invited him to a café this morning. It was entrapment. They went to a place that was more rooming house than café which was a set-up, finding himself in a room where other guys were waiting to assault him. He has been attacked, threatened with a machete, kicked and punched, burnt with cigarettes, forcibly stripped naked, clothes torn, photos and a video taken, beaten, and those in the room were joined by guys he had seen playing football earlier.

‘He is a Christian and those assaulting him were Christians. He feels suicidal now, fears the police and further exposure, can’t seek medical treatment, is in deep pain physical and emotional.

‘Assaults like this against LGBTI people are a daily event in Nigeria and other homophobic African countries. I am seethingly angry at the distortion of Christian teaching that encourages and supports the abuse of LGBTI people. Continue reading

Dear KD: I Have A Question About Finding Love

blackmentalkingHow do guys find love, what with the harsh climes we live in?

I always did wonder, because I hear of friends and stories of people finding love, hooking up and all that. I’m 25 and I’ve never been in a relationship.

See, I’m immensely shy, I never know what to say to a guy I find attractive so I just steal glances, or stare, depending on how courageous I feel per-time. I have also been rejected a lot of times by guys who feel nothing for me whereas I feel everything for them, and I have been a victim of blackmail by ‘Kitos’.

I don’t want to recede completely into myself and become a cold, unfeeling creature as I slowly am becoming. But I do not have the courage to step up to someone and say “hey”. I’m not very outgoing, so I don’t even know where people go where they meet people. Continue reading

Speaking Of The Lumbersexual…

lumbersexual_2800Yesterday’s urban male wore a slim-cut pair of pants, perhaps a button-down shirt with a narrow tie. He kept a clean shave, and generally looked tidy. His look was coined “metrosexual.” David Beckham was the poster-child for this breed of men, described as “the biggest metrosexual in Britain” in a 2002 Salon article that helped lead to the term’s popularity. Continue reading

The Boy Who Had the Saddest Eyes

others 105Read this story listening to any song(s) that give(s) you peace – Marcus.

He came to St John’s Boys’ High at a time when I wasn’t sure what I was. In the mornings, when everybody taunted Ben, calling him a homo, sissy, fag, I watched and said nothing, afraid that Ben would get tired of being teased alone and suddenly blurt out that I did stuff with him too; and in the evenings, I visited Vera, a girl from Our Lady’s Girls’ High whom I liked a lot because she was always willing, always giving.

He came one sunny morning looking like a thing from hell, thin and droopy-eyed, his scalp a radiating mirror, an old, ugly schoolbag slung lazily on his shoulder. He stood beside Miss Lara in front of the class, and introduced himself. His name was Amara, which was another ridiculous thing about him because all the Amaras I knew were girls. Miss Lara gave him a seat by the window, and whenever I looked at him, he was either always staring outside or sketching something in his sketchpad. He hardly ever talked, always mumbling a one-word reply whenever talked to, and soon I began to think of him as a bag of monosyllables.

Whenever we played basketball, he stood under the dogonyaro tree outside the court, watching us. One day I asked, “Do you want to play?” and he shook his head, mumbled something nonsensical, and started walking away.

And so, apart from being called Solar System because of his clean haircut, he was also called Robot, Dummy, Alien. I didn’t know why, but I found myself riveted by him. Maybe it was because he had an air of mystery around him, of enigma. I would sit across from him in class and stare and stare at him, until he looked up from his book or away from the window, and his eyes would settle on mine, a lazy settling, like a pat on the head; and it would linger, his eyes, until, always, I was forced to look away, embarrassed. Continue reading