FUCK LIFE. BE HAPPY

DSC_1392-MLife is serious, never take her seriously.

You’ve got to learn how to laugh, how to be happy. You’ve got to have a support system to help you navigate her waters – friends, families, Alcoholic Anonymous, Ku Ku Klux gang… Whatever floats your boat.

Learn to take the bad moments in stride and be quick to get out of its funk. We all know we’re never getting out of her grip alive anyway, so why would you want to die inside before you’re dead outside.

Treat life kindly, laugh with her and at her. She might be tough but she sure understands how to take a chill pill and give you a bit of space. Laugh at yourself, learn to take your blows before the world throws theirs. Continue reading

Please Stop Asking Me How Lesbians Have Sex

screen-shot-2014-07-06-at-6-24-31-pmWritten by V.S. Wells, originally published on thoughtcatalog.com

It is a Friday night and I am in a pool club with my friends, and some of E’s friends who I have never met before. We are playing tag team pool. I am shit at pool.

And M takes it upon herself to mention how I sometimes write for “gay magazines”, and suddenly G, who I have never met before, stares at me like I am about to strip off and start humping every girl in the immediate vicinity for his own personal gratification. He smiles like the shark from Finding Nemo.

“You’re a lesbian? That’s so cool!” Continue reading

TO A FRIEND DYING YOUNG

KD’s very first poem as written by Rapu’m. I was going to publish one of mine but he beat me to it. Have a read below and enjoy. As the name implies, it is kinda melancholic.

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singles 32Today, I stand here

Watching you lying there

Still and silent like Debby’s doll

Eyes closed like you’re playing dead

But you’re not playing

Cos I know how it looks when you played dead

How your eyes would crinkle at the edges

Like rumpled paper

Your lips trembling with suppressed laughter Continue reading

WHIPS

Remember Unoma, who wrote Internet Lover (Read HERE)… Well, she has sent in another piece for our reading delight, an extract from her upcoming memoir, Embracing My Shadow. Check on it.

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Girl ChildI was hungry, but I came alive as soon as other students started gathering their notebooks, getting ready to dash out of the class. The bread and tea we had for breakfast didn’t seem to serve any purpose. I had hoped that whatever we were having for lunch would be rice and stew. In the refectory, food was divided according to tables, so five to six students per table and each table had a pot or two of garri and soup. Sometimes, the soup was too watery, and then the rice and beans had small pebbles in them. I had the responsibility of dividing up the food. Nobody appointed me but I volunteered as often as I wanted. Occasionally, some accused me of not doing a good job.

At one point one of the girls at the table, Amaka, who had a large head yelled at me, “Unoma, the fish in your plate is bigger than others.”

“Bigger how? I shared the fish equally.”

“No, yours is bigger!” she yelled.

I shoved my plate to her and snatched hers, but she pulled it back, spilling some of the Ogbono soup. I clenched my fist and glared at her. I didn’t want to get into trouble by fighting. Otherwise, I would have punched her big head. The rest of the girls at the table told me to calm down and to ignore her. Continue reading

Kelly Brook no longer engaged to hottie David McIntosh

Kelly-Brook-and-David-go-hikingThe model and actress made the shock announcement on Twitter Friday night, as well as deleting all photos of her fiancé from her Instagram account and stepping out in Los Angeles without her engagement ring.

‘It’s a sad Day but I wanted to share with you that David and I are no longer engaged,’ Kelly tweeted from the US, while David is in England. ‘I love and respect him and wish him all the best.’

Only last week David and Kelly were seen looking happy as ever, kissing and hugging as they enjoyed a holiday in Greece. The couple couldn’t keep their hands off each other as they frolicked in the sea. And on Wednesday, the former Gladiator star had tweeted how much he was missing Kelly.

It seems the whirlwind romance was too much for Kelly, who accepted David’s proposal just eight weeks after meeting him on New Year’s Eve.

Just to be clear, the David McIntosh this Kelly broke up with is this David McIntosh, right? Continue reading

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 15)

Blog_KD JournalSeptember 26

Today, I went clubbing.

I didn’t like it.

The music was too loud, and it didn’t feel like something I was interested in doing. At the moment, booze was flowing through my veins and I felt lightheaded. I liked the feeling. But the loud music. The strangers around me I was supposed to get into a romp with. I didn’t like those. I’m not heterosexual, but I’m pretty sure if I went to a gay club where all that was happening, I would leave early… Just like I just did.

Maybe it was the music. Olamide was hollering over the speakers. Some nigga was running around the school shouting “yeah” and “c’mon”. The lights were pulsating and I felt uneasy.

I said before I’m not heterosexual. But I do know if I were straight, the club isn’t where I’d want to meet a girl. Unless she was shy and uncomfortable like me, and we found out we have a deep love for foreign music and she wasn’t into bad boys. Continue reading