Those Awkward Moments (Episode 9)

Blog_Those Awkward MomentsPreviously on THOSE AWKWARD MOMENTS: So Kevin’s mum takes him to see Jude in the hospital, in spite of the fact that siszilla Janet had made it expressly clear that he was not to show his face around there. Some major cojones, right? Well, fortunately for Kevin, Mummy Dearest must have had something over Janet, because the woman becomes the perfect little girl when she sees them. We don’t know what Mummy Dearest has up her sleeve against Janet, but before we can ask her, she slumps right there in the hospital. Right after Kevin goes in to see that Jude’s female ex is back in the picture, kissing him and everything. I mean, can’t a guy catch a break around here?

And that’s what you missed on Episode 8.

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“Shut up and stop lying! Do you take me for a fool!” Father barked as I cowered, dropping to my knees in front of him, my face down.

I quivered as I saw his trousers sag around his waist. He had just whipped his belt out from the waistline. And because he was a retired soldier, I whimpered at the expectation of the agony that was surely to come. Continue reading

The +++ Journals: Entry V

Blog_The +++ Journals 02It has always been easier to play the class clown. I learned much earlier that it was a good defence mechanism; the best way to hide my disappointments, rejection and worries. So it came as no surprise to me when I tried to downplay my new status and brush it off my back.

Upon our return from Daberechi’s lab, Josh and I hung out like we would do on a lazy Saturday: we dined on Josh’s spicy jollof rice he referred to as Mama’s special, watched reruns of our favourite shows and went out for a meet-n-drink with a couple of friends when the sun set.

There was cold beer and up-tempo music, with, of course, Yours Truly playing the role of the king’s jester and endeavouring to make everyone laugh. I think it was and still is a good distraction – focusing on everyone else and living in the moment. Besides, if I decided to stay at home and stew, it would not change my circumstance. After one too many bottles, I went home feeling optimistic about life and the road ahead. Continue reading

Justin M. Quinn: I Want My Dad To Finally Come Out

singles 54Originally published on advocate.com

My father’s gay. As our nation stumbles steadily towards long-overdue legal equity for same-sex couples and their families, I’m grateful to know that doesn’t necessarily make me a rarity these days. My father’s gay. I’ve known since I was 16, when a confluence of events (his repeated “solo” trips to Key West, his membership at an all-male gym, the discovery of his Playgirl stash) forced my siblings and me to reevaluate our entire family dynamic. My father’s gay. In the 20 years since, I’ve shared those exact same words with my best friends, a few girlfriends, and a therapist who is, I’m quite certain, the closest thing I’ll ever have to an attentive paternal figure. It’s too bad I have to pay him.

I don’t normally lead with this information, but I’m not dishonest about it either. If you’re curious enough to wonder out loud how my parents have stayed married for 40 years, I’d tell you the truth: No, it’s not one of those marriage-takes-many-shapes “understandings” that’s keeping them together. That would at least be a step toward openness and acceptance. My father and mother are still married because he lies about his sexuality and she chooses to believe him. It wasn’t always this clear to me. Continue reading

LOVE AND SEX IN THE CITY (Episode 38)

Blog_Love And Sex In The City 02“Or else what?!” Andre’s voice came through the speakerphone in a snarl. “What will you do? Please, Paschal, stop making threats when you and I know you can’t do more than a dead rat.”

“You bastard!” Paschal hissed at the phone from the back of Yinka’s car, as Yinka maneuvered through the traffic on Ojuelegba. “If you know what’s good for you, you will take down that Badoo account!”

“I will do no such thing! When you treated me like shit months ago, and I complained, did you listen? No! So you can go to hell! That profile will remain there, complete with your pictures and number and sexual orientation. If it gets you any hook-ups, great. If on the other hand, those who are not meant to see it should see it, well, the whole idea of doing this was to teach you a lesson.”

“You want to teach me a lesson, abi?” Paschal seethed. “Wait till I catch you, you bitch!” Continue reading

Those Awkward Moments (Episode 7)

Blog_Those Awkward MomentsPreviously on THOSE AWKWARD MOMENTS: So, Kevin’s totally got job security, now that he’s officially pop star, Demoniker’s songwriter. She even invites him to a club event with her. (Freaking out!). But wait till you see who’s waiting for him at home – Mummy Dearest! And from the looks of it, we don’t like her very much.

And that’s what you missed on Episode 6.

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Who was my mother?

She was the woman who read my journal, thumbed through my private thoughts, and then reported my crush on Jude to my father, knowing full well that as a military man, he wouldn’t go easy on me. She was the one who subsequently joined my father to persecute me for my gayness.

She was the woman who threatened to leave my father when he suddenly became accepting of my sexual orientation, a threat so serious that it made the poor man quite miserable.

She was also the woman who concluded that my application to a college in the US was a guise I wanted to use to escape her to the go and have ‘homo’ sex, and subsequently forced a federal university on me.

She was the woman who, when I firmly refused to leave school to attend her birthday bash a few years ago after she and dad relocated to London, lamented to members of our family that I’d become disrespectful of her ever since I was brainwashed by the gays. The result of this was a stream of discourteous calls from relatives, the side-eyes my cousins kept giving me, and the months of church deliverances I was dragged to.

That was my mother – the woman I’d gradually grown to resent very much with the passing years. Continue reading

No Strings With Mike Daemon: The Teflondon Interview

TeflondonPosterFOREWORD: Ok, so I captioned it that way so y’all will know that this episode of No Strings has a KDian on the hot seat 🙂 (Hi, Tef) Check on it below and BE NICE.

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In this episode, NOSTRINGS talks with Teflondon (not real name), a Nigerian gay man who got dramatically outed by his then lover, following a series of trouble, even involving the police. Consequent to this was his apprehension and lock-up by the police, and upon his bail, the distrust of his family.

Ever since then, he has been doing his best to deal with his own personal issues and to find his balance again, and as well trying to understand life from a whole new different perspective.

NOSTRINGS had the privilege of talking to this young man, as he details his struggles and challenges and takes us deep into his life and how he now deals with his family’s constant pressure to change.

To have a listen, click to DOWNLOAD or STREAM LIVE

IN THE COVER OF THE DARK

in the cover of the dark“Suck it! Suck it now!”

He snarled the words at me, pulling me forward to him and attempting to shove me on my knees before the small, turgid penis sticking out from his open fly.

I complied. I dropped to my knees. The small knife in his hand, its blade glinting dully in the evening, filled me with dread.

“Suck it quick!” he hissed. “Fa mu!”

I could not believe what was happening. I was seven. He was thirteen, the landlord’s son. He was my friend. We played together quite a lot. He liked to tease me about my effeminate mannerisms, good natured teasing though. He was about the only male friend I had. I was staying with my aunt, growing up as one of her own, amidst the six children she had. Five girls and a boy. The boy was older than me, and not particularly into befriending me. So his sisters were my friends and companions, the ones I had fun growing up with, while I waited for the differences between my mother and father, and their respective partners – differences over me – to be resolved. I had a great time growing up in my aunt’s household. I was happy, loved and carefree.

And now, I was being made to do something I had no idea about before. Continue reading

Once ‘Father’ and ‘Son,’ Now Married To Each Other

1468afdc65d67d3b7d32e20222299c9474031d2bA couple who were legally father and son for the last fifteen years had their adoption vacated and were married this week after 52 years together.

Norman MacArthur, 74, (left) and Bill Novak, 76, were married in Pennsylvania on Sunday. The couple, who has been together since their 20s, registered as domestic partners in New York City in 1994, but in 2000, they moved to Erwinna, Pennsylvania, where domestic partnerships are not legally recognized. “When we moved to Pennsylvania, we had both retired and we were of the age where one begins to do estate planning,” MacArthur tells Yahoo Parenting. “We went to a lawyer who told us Pennsylvania was never going to allow same-sex marriage, so the only legal avenue we had in order to be afforded any rights was adoption.”

MacArthur says he thought the suggestion was strange at first. “It struck me as fairly unusual, but we looked into it and discovered that other couples had done it. Without the adoption, we would be legally strangers.” Continue reading

OPEN LETTER TO MY SON

A_BLACK_FATHER_AND_SON_PICTURED_AT_AN_OUTDOOR_WORSHIP_SERVICE_AT_CHICAGO'S_WRIGLEY_FIELD_DURING_THE_JEHOVAH'S_WITNESS..._-_NARA_-_556146My dear adorable son, I love you very, very much. My love is without condition and I honestly hope that you’ll forever know that, no matter your age or how stubborn you’ll become, I’ll always love you unconditionally.

A recent incident has prompted me to write this open letter to you, and I do hope I’ll have trained you well enough to read it with an open mind.

While you were barely two years old, I went to a children’s birthday party with you. And feeling like a proud father, I took pictures of us and posted them online. A ‘friend’ saw the picture and gave me a call – two friends actually, but I’ll focus on the first. He said and I quote, “Guy, your son is too fine, way too fine. You better not send him to a boarding school. Send him to a day school, so we don’t get another gay convert. We already have enough gays; we don’t need to add your son as one more.” Continue reading

PSYCHOSIS: A Story About A Man Who Defies Society

singles 49I stumbled on this piece penned by Kingsley Okechukwu and originally published on kingkingsley.wordpress.com, and I felt compelled to share it here. The protagonist talked about in the story is the writer’s uncle, and the writer details how, for years, his uncle had defied the societal standard of marriage. I decided to share the story here, not because this uncle was portrayed as a gay man (he wasn’t) but because I wanted to let us know how powerful society can be when it strives to maintain its norms, and how any means is employable by it to ensure this.

Check on it below.

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Uncle Chukwuka is the most famous character in our entire family circle. His popularity is stretched by his refusal to adhere to the normal fabric of life, and coloured by some of the weirdest attitudes that have shocked, amused and infuriated his kinsfolk. I have been trying to write a story about Uncle Chukwuka for six years now. Each time I picked up my pen, the words came out in small, turgid mounds so that after few paragraphs, I would conclude that I have been writing nonsense, that these strange words weren’t describing my uncle; these words were in fact dishonouring him. Then I would tear off the paper from my workbook, squeeze it into a ball and hurl it out of the window. And forget about my uncle for a month. Continue reading