Dear KD: I Wonder About Him

So this thought has been lingering on my mind for a while now, and it got triggered again when I saw a missed call a few nights ago. The missed call was from a really close family friend. He’s like a brother from another mother. This was a very small thing that got me thinking, not for the first time – what does this dude really want? Does he like me? Does he like me like me? Or is all this perseverance to remain close a result of the fact that both our families have been really beneficial to each other over the years?

Even though our families were close, me and him – we never really became close till very recently. We schooled in different states – different countries at some point – and then, there was the hustle to become independent. It was only after we sort of got settled in our individual lives that we reunited and got really close, despite the fact that we don’t live in the same city. But anytime I visit Abuja, I stay at his place, and he always ensured I had memorable visits; always such an attentive, generous host to me.

DEAR KD: I Know The Man She Wants To Marry

I need advice on this.

So there’s this lady, a nurse here in Bayelsa who I call my ‘mummy’, because she’s like a mother to me. She is quite advanced in age, but unmarried. And she knows about my sexual orientation, yes. She once saw lots of gay porn on my phone the day she was looking at my pic. So I had to come out to her, and she responded with the reassurance that it doesn’t change our relationship. She promised that she was cool with who I am. And she subsequently showed some curiosity on the gay issue, frequently asking for lectures on Gay Sex 101. Our talks on the subject were always fun.

Anyway, there’s this suitor that she’s been telling me about recently. And then, last week Thursday, she told me the guy would be coming over on Saturday, and would be staying a whole week. I couldn’t wait to meet him; she’d told me so much about him.

No Strings With Mike Daemon (Episode 12)

In this episode, Olumide F. Makanjuola, the Executive Director of TIERS Nigeria, discusses with NOSTRINGS. He talks about and affirms his stand with the Nigerian LGBT Community, exposing new projects, touches on the infamous law, and as well goes personal with his experience as an LGBT Rights Activist.

Olumide answers tough, critical and vital questions on issues affecting the lives of LGBT Nigerians, and what could possibly be done to improve upon the way people handle sensitive issues like homosexuality, transsexuality, lesbianism and more…

To check on this, click to DOWNLOAD or STREAM LIVE

DEAR KD: I Have A Bothersome Health Issue

It took a lot of encouragement from Pink Panther and some mining of guts on my own part to let this post happen. I am a naturally reserved person, to the point of introversion, and I am not wont to drawing attention to myself. That is why I have being reading this blog since its inception and never once commented. But I’m pragmatic enough to know that when you have a problem which you cannot handle on your own, and you do not ask for help, then you suffer greatly for it.

So when I reached out to PP and he admitted he didn’t have all the answers and asked if he should bring it up in the house, I first hedged, and then I conceded.

For the purpose of this update, my name is Timothy. I live in Lagos. And I am a Bottom. Please, in your comments, it wouldn’t do to ask me why I’m not Top or observe how being Versatile can help solve my problem. I’ve identified who I am in the bedroom, and that is what it is.

Dear KD: I’m Caught Between My Fear And My Desire

Since I moved outside Nigeria, I have been either too busy or uninterested to hook up with anybody. Contrary to what all my friends believe, I am not exactly having the ultimate sexual experience. I am either caught up with school, work or some activity (cue in church).

Recently, a friend suggested I download Grindr, and after much contemplation, I did. The place was just filled with freaks, and just when I was about to uninstall the app while I was at the gym, I got messaged by some good looking brother. We chatted a little and after a while, we exchanged numbers and I progressed to uninstall the Grindr app.

Dear KD: He Wants To Dance, And We Wish He Won’t

This is going to be a very unpopular ask for advice. I know that, having been a part of this forum for some time now. But I still have to ask anyway. It isn’t in my interest. It is in the interest of my very close friend.

This friend of mine is effeminate, a typical example of Alex Newell from Glee, and his femininity can be perceived five blocks away from him. And because of it, he has never being too far from scandals.

He once participated in a freestyle dance at our school’s inter-faculty dance contest. He rocked his body like Beyoncé and Shakira combined, and of course he won the contest, right along with heavy and scornful speculation of his sexuality. Those of us who are his close friends weren’t spared; we also came under the fierce, unfriendly scrutiny of the speculation.

Fast forward two years later, and he wants to represent his faculty officially at the upcoming inter-faculty dance competition. And yes, he is all set to rock some nasty moves. We, his friends, do not want ‎him to dance, because he has too many baggage and we don’t want him to incur more of it. He seems adamant to go ahead with the dance. We are worried, and I would like some direction on what we should do from you guys. Thanks.

Submitted by Saúde

Dear KD: I Want To Know What I Can Do To Help

One of my students was caught having sex with another student while the later was asleep.

A board of inquiry has been set up to investigate the incident and make recommendations. Ironically, I was assigned chairmanship of the board. Evidences have been provided and names of witnesses listed. The accused is seventeen years old, and the son of a special adviser to the state governor. I have started receiving friendly pressures.

One remarkable thing that most members of the board seem to agree upon is that the boy has a right to his sexuality. Surprised? I was too.

Dear KD: He Is My Best Friend, And He Hates That I’m Gay

I have (had) a best friend, who I also happened to have a massive crush on. But in all the time of our friendship, I have managed to keep my attraction for him under wraps.

However, recently, driven by a need to be more of myself with him, I came out to him. His initial reaction was to understand. But that didn’t last very long. Below is the message he sent me, which broke my heart as I read it.

Him: Guy, see eh! I want you to do me a favour abeg… Dey on your own please. I really can’t pretend anymore, man. I can’t put up with you. I beg you in the name of God, stay on your own please, to avoid any complications. Thanks for your understanding. And please, don’t ever try to visit me again uninvited, because you might not like the outcome. That will be all for now.

Feeling shattered as I read this, I couldn’t stop myself from replying.

Dear KD: I Want My Brother Rescued From Homophobia

In a typical Igbo setting, a male child is said to be a gift from heaven. The more male children a woman has, the more renowned and respected she is. I will like to acknowledge the fact that I am hardcore feminist, but there are some things no amount of education will change, especially when it comes to dealing with tradition and whatnot. By the way, my mother has five children, all are male.

I am the third child of my parents, the middle-man, the one who settles fights between the seniors and the juniors. I am the poster good kid, intelligent, witty, polite, Straight A student. I also happen to be as gay as a bag full of rainbows and I am so far stuck in my closet that I suck dick in Narnia.

Did I forget to tell you that all my brothers are homophobes? Yes they bloody well are.

Dear KD: I Have A Condition Over Status And Family

FOREWORD: This is a follow-up on the idea of support proposed by Sensei. The idea is taking off. The official email address is kds.system14@gmail.com.

And this is a call for anyone who would like to volunteer as part of this virtual support system. The support system is comprised of three categories: members of the gaybourhood who are struggling with their HIV positive status, those recovering from Kito attacks, and those suffering from bouts of depression.

If you intend to volunteer as a counselor, simply send a mail to the address above, indicating your interest and which category you want to play a part in.

And if you are a brother (or sister) suffering through any of these three phases, kindly send a mail to the address above, and we’ll do our best to get you the help you deserve.

The KD Support System is all set, guys, let’s make it count.

And now, on to today’s post