Dear KD: I Wonder About Him

Blog_Dear KDSo this thought has been lingering on my mind for a while now, and it got triggered again when I saw a missed call a few nights ago. The missed call was from a really close family friend. He’s like a brother from another mother. This was a very small thing that got me thinking, not for the first time – what does this dude really want? Does he like me? Does he like me like me? Or is all this perseverance to remain close a result of the fact that both our families have been really beneficial to each other over the years?

Even though our families were close, me and him – we never really became close till very recently. We schooled in different states – different countries at some point – and then, there was the hustle to become independent. It was only after we sort of got settled in our individual lives that we reunited and got really close, despite the fact that we don’t live in the same city. But anytime I visit Abuja, I stay at his place, and he always ensured I had memorable visits; always such an attentive, generous host to me. Continue reading

DEAR KD: I Know The Man She Wants To Marry

Blog_Dear KDI need advice on this.

So there’s this lady, a nurse here in Bayelsa who I call my ‘mummy’, because she’s like a mother to me. She is quite advanced in age, but unmarried. And she knows about my sexual orientation, yes. She once saw lots of gay porn on my phone the day she was looking at my pic. So I had to come out to her, and she responded with the reassurance that it doesn’t change our relationship. She promised that she was cool with who I am. And she subsequently showed some curiosity on the gay issue, frequently asking for lectures on Gay Sex 101. Our talks on the subject were always fun.

Anyway, there’s this suitor that she’s been telling me about recently. And then, last week Thursday, she told me the guy would be coming over on Saturday, and would be staying a whole week. I couldn’t wait to meet him; she’d told me so much about him. Continue reading

No Strings With Mike Daemon (Episode 12)

olumidePosterIn this episode, Olumide F. Makanjuola, the Executive Director of TIERS Nigeria, discusses with NOSTRINGS. He talks about and affirms his stand with the Nigerian LGBT Community, exposing new projects, touches on the infamous law, and as well goes personal with his experience as an LGBT Rights Activist.

Olumide answers tough, critical and vital questions on issues affecting the lives of LGBT Nigerians, and what could possibly be done to improve upon the way people handle sensitive issues like homosexuality, transsexuality, lesbianism and more…

To check on this, click to DOWNLOAD or STREAM LIVE

DEAR KD: I Have A Bothersome Health Issue

Blog_Dear KDIt took a lot of encouragement from Pink Panther and some mining of guts on my own part to let this post happen. I am a naturally reserved person, to the point of introversion, and I am not wont to drawing attention to myself. That is why I have being reading this blog since its inception and never once commented. But I’m pragmatic enough to know that when you have a problem which you cannot handle on your own, and you do not ask for help, then you suffer greatly for it.

So when I reached out to PP and he admitted he didn’t have all the answers and asked if he should bring it up in the house, I first hedged, and then I conceded.

For the purpose of this update, my name is Timothy. I live in Lagos. And I am a Bottom. Please, in your comments, it wouldn’t do to ask me why I’m not Top or observe how being Versatile can help solve my problem. I’ve identified who I am in the bedroom, and that is what it is. Continue reading

Dear KD: I’m Caught Between My Fear And My Desire

blackmentalkingSince I moved outside Nigeria, I have been either too busy or uninterested to hook up with anybody. Contrary to what all my friends believe, I am not exactly having the ultimate sexual experience. I am either caught up with school, work or some activity (cue in church).

Recently, a friend suggested I download Grindr, and after much contemplation, I did. The place was just filled with freaks, and just when I was about to uninstall the app while I was at the gym, I got messaged by some good looking brother. We chatted a little and after a while, we exchanged numbers and I progressed to uninstall the Grindr app. Continue reading

Dear KD: He Wants To Dance, And We Wish He Won’t

blackmentalkingThis is going to be a very unpopular ask for advice. I know that, having been a part of this forum for some time now. But I still have to ask anyway. It isn’t in my interest. It is in the interest of my very close friend.

This friend of mine is effeminate, a typical example of Alex Newell from Glee, and his femininity can be perceived five blocks away from him. And because of it, he has never being too far from scandals.

He once participated in a freestyle dance at our school’s inter-faculty dance contest. He rocked his body like Beyoncé and Shakira combined, and of course he won the contest, right along with heavy and scornful speculation of his sexuality. Those of us who are his close friends weren’t spared; we also came under the fierce, unfriendly scrutiny of the speculation.

Fast forward two years later, and he wants to represent his faculty officially at the upcoming inter-faculty dance competition. And yes, he is all set to rock some nasty moves. We, his friends, do not want ‎him to dance, because he has too many baggage and we don’t want him to incur more of it. He seems adamant to go ahead with the dance. We are worried, and I would like some direction on what we should do from you guys. Thanks.

Submitted by Saúde

Dear KD: I Want To Know What I Can Do To Help

blackmentalkingOne of my students was caught having sex with another student while the later was asleep.

A board of inquiry has been set up to investigate the incident and make recommendations. Ironically, I was assigned chairmanship of the board. Evidences have been provided and names of witnesses listed. The accused is seventeen years old, and the son of a special adviser to the state governor. I have started receiving friendly pressures.

One remarkable thing that most members of the board seem to agree upon is that the boy has a right to his sexuality. Surprised? I was too. Continue reading