OPEN LETTER TO MY SON

A_BLACK_FATHER_AND_SON_PICTURED_AT_AN_OUTDOOR_WORSHIP_SERVICE_AT_CHICAGO'S_WRIGLEY_FIELD_DURING_THE_JEHOVAH'S_WITNESS..._-_NARA_-_556146My dear adorable son, I love you very, very much. My love is without condition and I honestly hope that you’ll forever know that, no matter your age or how stubborn you’ll become, I’ll always love you unconditionally.

A recent incident has prompted me to write this open letter to you, and I do hope I’ll have trained you well enough to read it with an open mind.

While you were barely two years old, I went to a children’s birthday party with you. And feeling like a proud father, I took pictures of us and posted them online. A ‘friend’ saw the picture and gave me a call – two friends actually, but I’ll focus on the first. He said and I quote, “Guy, your son is too fine, way too fine. You better not send him to a boarding school. Send him to a day school, so we don’t get another gay convert. We already have enough gays; we don’t need to add your son as one more.” Continue reading

An Open Letter To Ageist Gay Men

g53This piece was originally published on Queerty.com

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Dear Ageist Gays,

George Bernard Shaw famously wrote “Youth is wasted on the young.” If you don’t understand what this means, then you likely fall into the category of either ignorant or “young,” which, for the sake of argument, is under the age of 25… OK, OK, 30, for those of you still clinging. But that’s the cutoff, even if you are 50 and describe yourself as a “boi” on your Adam4Adam profile. (More power to you, dude!)

A stubborn minority of gay men maintain ageist attitudes. In the eyes of many gay men, including, evidently, 40 is the new geriatric and 50 is the new dead. Continue reading

LETTER TO MY FUTURE WIFE

future-wifeDear future wife, I come from the past to warn you about the terrible mistake you’re about to make – marrying me.

I’m not going to be your knight in a shining armor, or your “help” in fixing up things in the house. I’m not going to love you, at least not in the way you’ll want to be loved. Even if I do, it’ll be a brother-sister love. In your eyes, I’ll be the man of your dreams, but don’t be fooled; I’m going to be your worst nightmare and you, my bane.

We’re never going to have that wild spontaneous sex you read about and watch in Hollywood movies; ours will be more like a zombie mating with a corpse, strictly for reproduction purposes. There’ll be no kissing, no foreplay, no romance. You’ll often get horny and I won’t be there to satisfy you. Our lovemaking will be vapid and frigid like a storm in a cold November. Continue reading

THE OPEN LOVE LETTERS

Blog_Open Love Letters“How can a man love his fellow man?”

That was the question a heterosexual friend of mine asked me a couple of years ago, when in a fit of frustrated desire, I outed myself to him, in order to let him know I fancied him.

And when he blurted out that question, I rolled my eyes at him and corrected him: “I’m not in love with you. I just have a crush on you.”

And he amended: “Still… how can you have a crush on your fellow man? How can you desire a man like you? How can you want to get naked with someone whose body is hard and firm like yours, as opposed to a woman’s body which is soft and curvy?”

His was not the beginning of a homophobic rant, I could tell that from his expression. He looked genuinely befuddled, unable to comprehend the concept of an attraction between same sexes.

And indeed, really, how can that be? Continue reading

The Letter To My Family

_51386910_man.624Dear whoever reads this,

Yes, I am 20 and I am leaving, to be happy. Of course you’ll say, being gay is not being happy, but you won’t understand. You probably never will.

This is who I am. The consistent “therapies” which was supposed to make me change has made me stronger.

If I had written this letter two years ago, it’d have been followed with my body hanging from the ceiling fan or pale from overdosing. But that can’t happen now, I’m wiser, I’m in love with myself and I’ve learned to love who I am. Continue reading

Dear Ex Lover

sad-manWriter’s Note: I had a lover who I thought was the best thing ever that happened to me. Turns out he wasn’t. All through the five months we were together, he had a “significant other”, and I was just the side chick/dude. It hurt when I found out, and the verse below is the expression of my pain.

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Dear Ex Lover,

I promise I’ll stop chasing your memory in my dreams.

I’ll stop bringing your name up

Over cups of teas, toast, and loneliness

I will marry a man

And I will lay my heart on his chest

Like red roses on Mahogany caskets

And we shall have a daughter and she’ll have eyes that’ll remind me

That God still believes in second chances. Continue reading

An Open Letter To Christians Who Believe That Sexuality Is A Decision

01-writing-a-letterWritten by John Pavlovitz, originally published on johnpavlovitz.com

History is no guarantee of legitimacy.

Thinking sustained over time doesn’t always equal Truth; sometimes it just equals tradition.

Just because many religious people get something wrong over and over and over again, doesn’t eventually one day make it right.

In fact, when it comes to things that we come to believe corporately as a people, sometimes history and tradition and religion are the enemy of progress. We become intellectually lazy; wrong but comfortable in that wrong-ness and unwilling to dig deeper.

Ever since Christians have been talking about homosexuality, many have been trying to begin with an assumption that is simply incorrect and dangerous; that it’s something that all gay people choose. Continue reading

THAT OTHER OPEN LETTER TO BOTTOMS

Whoever said the open letters from the tops was finished thought wrong. These bruthas be vexing. I got another letter – this one from someone who’s an ex-lover (Hush! Don’t tell anyone! 🙂 ) – and we shall call him…er, Dexter. Here’s what he had to say.

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stereotypes1#1 Know The Dick You Signed Up For

Bottoms, after probably asking for pictures, demos and whatnot, then get to the top’s place. And then he whips out his schlong. It’s nice. It’s big. It’s majestic. And then, the bottom be like – What is this?! I can’t take this! Hold on! Gimme a minute. Don’t go so deep!

And I’m like – Like hell I won’t. I’m dicking that ass! Continue reading