This is another piece written by a female Kitodiariesian. She goes by the pseudonym FromCocoonToButterfly. Read her offering below and enjoy.
A Little Background:
The word Homophile was commonly used in the 1950s and ’60s, but fizzled out with the emergence of the gay liberation movements where the terms gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender (LGBT) and homosexual were preferred. This was thought to have happened due to the need to dissociate from the word, Paedophile, one considered a mental health illness, since same-sex attraction in 1973 was officially no longer considered a medical condition.
Now to the article:
Bring back the word Homophile. Let love be the centerpiece in reference to same-gender attraction. Let’s face it: The word Homosexual only makes you think about Sex. And that’s what scares the homophobes.
I mean, think about it. The vague notion of non-penetrative female parts somehow getting sexual gratification is unimaginable to the patriarchally colonized mind. And for a man to choose a smelly rectum to dip his phallus into over a warm, self-lubricating vagina is completely daunting, if not horrific to the straight and narrow mind. Although some vaginas smell worse than any anus (trust me, I’m lesbian), but that’s another story.
When you de-emphasize ‘sex’ as in homo-SEX-ual, and call it ‘love’ as in homo-PHILE, more people are likely to get it. Even the straightest ruler can understand a crush (see what I did there?). Yes, I know some people will argue that associating gays (generally speaking) with a word that reminds you of sexual activity rather than child abuse is a no-brainer, but the fact is child abuse, any kind of abuse, is psychologically and physically damaging, and thereby criminal. Where two consenting adults are concerned, there is no psychological damage. On the contrary, the opposite has been the trend. If there is any damage, it usually comes from the fear of a disapproving environment. As for physical damage and risk, I guarantee there’s no less damage done or risk involved than is found in heterosexual sexual involvement. Except for the unwanted pregnancies of course.
It’s about the attraction. The magnetic pull of attributes that are appealing and draw you into a person. It’s about those things that make you stare, and cause you to involuntarily scratch the back of your neck. For some people, it’s bold and masculine, and some others, it’s soft and feminine. For some, it’s the contrast of assigned gender with a variant gender expression. Or the sexy mystery of androgyny. Whatever it is shouldn’t matter because at the end of the day, whatever endears you to another, whatever ignites that initial first spark, makes each and every one of us feel the very same thing. Whether you’re straight or gay, heterosexual or a homophile, we can all relate to this feeling which would be sinful to call a sin. It’s too beautiful to deny.
So again, I call for a change of term from Homosexual back to Homophile, so that what unites us in the experience of love and attraction can once again be waved at the fore-front of our homogeneous experiences as humans. Maybe with it, we will start to see that we aren’t that different. We all wake up in the morning, brush our teeth, do chores and worry about finances like everyone else. We only choose to do it with the ones we are drawn to, not the ones we are expected to be drawn to. Like the word Gay which also means to be happy, let Homophile remind us that it is all the same love. The same one that inspires us to be the best version of ourselves. Hopefully, hearing your conservative parents say “You’re a homophile?” will help make coming out a little less embarrassing, for those who choose that route. And for others, I hope it will help them become more accepting of themselves because Homo will be less associated with wreckless sex and more associated with love.
Using the word Homophile won’t solve it all, but it’s a darn good place to start.
(Re: “Same Love” Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, Featuring Mary Lambert)
Written by FromCocoonToButterfly