Sony Email Hack Reveals Spiderman Isn’t Allowed To Be Gay

Andrew Garfield as SpidermanAccording to a leaked agreement between Sony and Marvel, there are a great number of things Spiderman can’t do or be: He’s “not a homosexual;” he “does not abuse alcohol;” he “does not use foul language;” he “does not have sex with anyone below the age of 16.”

However, there are also several character traits he absolutely must possess: he is unswervingly “Caucasian;” he “gains powers from being bitten by a spider;” and, though “heterosexual,” he still has the innate know-how to “design his first red and blue costume.”

For a fellow who’s able to shoot thin ropes of spider-web out of his wrists to traverse New York skyscrapers and catch enemies in a viscous mess of goo, the poor guy is kept on an astonishingly tight leash. Continue reading

Question Of The Day III

Please, the ladies and bisexuals in the house, I need your attention!

Do I have it? Okay.

So, on my mainstream blog, against the update of Kenny Badmus’ coming out, the comments section was really tense, considering that straight people read the blog too. There was a face-off between someone in our team and someone else in that other team. (Our team player is a KDian, he knows himself, lol). Other opinions were tossed into the mix, and one of them was from a female. See screengrab below.Screenshot - 2_1_2015 , 9_35_17 PM

Continue reading

Wives And Husbands in ‘How To Get Away With Murder’

tumblr_static_tumblr_static_2gnhr9bsydlwc4ksgs4sgsc4s_1280Okay, there’s really no point to this post. Just sharing a mild movie spoiler; it’s not a shade, not a lecture, no a gibe.

Over the weekend, a good friend of mine and fellow Kitodiariesian blessed me with a hard-drive-full of movies and series. Yes, I felt blessed, especially since I’d finally gotten my hands on the one series I’ve been angling to watch for so long – Shonda Rhimes’ How To Get Away With Murder (aka Murder).

And so far, that woman’s genius is still wowing me. You’d think she’s lost her touch after Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal. Anyway, I got to Murder’s Episode 3 (Okay, this is a bit of a spoiler o), and I watched this verbal fight I thought to share with y’all.

First a little background. There’s Annalise Keating, a law professor cum defense attorney, and five of her law students who also sort of interning for her law firm, assisting her in real cases. There’s particularly these two – Connor Walsh and Michaela Pratt, both of who don’t like each other very much. Not like any of the five like each other very much; they’re interns, currying to be the boss’s favourite. Connor is openly gay, and Michaela is engaged to be married to this cute dude, Aiden Walker, who makes an appearance in Episode 3. It turned out Aiden and Connor went to the same boarding school, and Connor, in his usual relentless taunting of Michaela, lets it slip that he and Aiden had had sexual relations way back when. So of course, the engaged young woman was enraged. Continue reading

Homophile – Same Love

This is another piece written by a female Kitodiariesian. She goes by the pseudonym FromCocoonToButterfly. Read her offering below and enjoy.

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couple_2779095bHomophile (n): A homosexual man or woman; (adj) Of or relating to homosexuals (“homo-” meaning “same”; “-phile” from the Greek word “love”)

A Little Background:

The word Homophile was commonly used in the 1950s and ’60s, but fizzled out with the emergence of the gay liberation movements where the terms gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender (LGBT) and homosexual were preferred. This was thought to have happened due to the need to dissociate from the word, Paedophile, one considered a mental health illness, since same-sex attraction in 1973 was officially no longer considered a medical condition.

Now to the article: Continue reading

The Many Colours of Happyness

This is a work of fiction by a latest contributor to Kito Diaries. Read and enjoy.

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two-men-on-the-beach-at-sunset-holding-handsWHEN WE WERE children, Kosi and I, we drew stick figures on old papers; figures dancing in the rain, with triangles for eyes. We grew up watching the stars. We would sit side-by side on cold nights and stare at the stars, and Kosi would always observe how beautiful they were, the stars. So beautiful. We grew up in the midst of colours and flowers: yellow ixora, red hibiscuses, purple bougainvilleas, red bougainvilleas. Maybe that was why Kosi stopped drawing stick figures and started painting flowers that did not look like flowers at all.

It was one misty Harmattan morning. I woke up with the sun in my face and soft birdsong on the dogonyaro tree outside my window. I climbed out of the window after taking my bath. We were neighbours then, Kosi and I. Their house was a small bungalow. The corridors were dotted with aloe vera in clay pots. Inside the house, an aquarium, milk-coloured sofas, a fluffy rug, mirror-like tiles, ready laughter. His sister Kasarachi was cleaning the furniture with a damp rag. She was small like Kosi, but her skin was not a burnished black, but a glowing caramel. ‘Ah, Idris,’ she said.

‘Good morning,’ I said. Continue reading

Why Are We Our Own Worst Enemies?

black-man-liarI normally don’t mix business with pleasure, so I keep relationships at work formal, knowing where the lines are and drawing them clearly. I am nowhere near perfect, but I do have a strong definition of what’s ethical and what’s not.

Just bear with me and follow the course of my blabbing. Last year, a new guy started working at my company, and at that time I was in the supply chain management unit. So I was always at the warehouse, shipping out orders or taking inventory. The new guy was very cute, nice round bottom (my weakness) and all; but In spite of my attraction to him and his “come hither signals”, I maintained a safe distance, keeping things between us very formal. After a few weeks, I attended a birthday party thrown for one of my pals; it was basically a “guys only” party and the new guy was in attendance, with his face lighting up when he saw me. He later began hounding me on Whatsapp; I replied his messages but stayed away from the sexual innuendos. He was my subordinate after all. Continue reading

CONVERSION THERAPY

Today’s update will be Kito Diaries’ hundredth post. And to commemorate it, I wondered: what other write-up is suitable than something penned by Absalom? Here’s another thinker by Absalom. Read and enjoy.

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gay-menForeword

Some gay guys stick to the story of a “conversion” in their lives, muddling it up with their first sexual experience – all to feel better about a sexual orientation that’s hard to deal with. It’s understandable, but this class of “converts” is not my problem this morning.

A bend in the rod

Some of the most interesting stories we’ll ever hear of sexual encounters are those involving a gay guy and a straight guy. It seems the idea behind describing heterosexuality with the term “straight” has something to do with “non-derailment”, “being on course” – unlike the other kind of guys, you know, we the bent ones. Continue reading

Tweet Of The Day

Stumbled on this tweet as I cruised twitter this morning. The thread that led to this was just another spat between tweeps, one side homophobic and the other side gay. And one tweep snapped, ‘STFU Faggot!’ To which this guy responded with the tweet below. I loved the response. I loved the attitude that prompted it. And I thought to share.twee

The Conversation HE Had With GOD

God-talkThere was nothing memorable or extraordinary about the emergence of Gay Smith upon this blue planet. He, like the majority of human entities, was squirted from his mother’s nether after about 9 months of gestation, squealing out his lungs as if some terrible fate had befallen him. His childhood didn’t also hold much excitement compared to that of his peers. However, nothing more than a child’s imagination can make an animated adventure of the humdrum of life. And so it was that Gay Smith sailed from moment to moment of his childhood in bliss, especially as he was blessed with a loving mother who spoiled him with treats and loved to cuddle and kiss him on the lips until as old as he would allow.

His smooth sailing life remained happy until his early teens when he encountered a strange paradox that threatened to drown him and ruin him forever.  Summarily put, he liked guys. Continue reading