Read the previous part of Tug Of War HERE
At the touch of Kevin’s lips, I stopped my scramble to get up and off him. I was stunned, and my lips stayed unresponsive as his slipped and slid sensuously over my mouth. Then he stopped and pulled away, staring at me. His breathing was heavy like he’d been running for a while.
“Say something goddamnit!” he rasped.
I couldn’t say a word. Instead, I slid back into a sitting position on the swing chair and stared back at him. I still didn’t say anything.
“Fuck!” He sat up and put his face in his palms.
And then, I snapped out of my trance. I didn’t need words. I just needed to show him. I reached for him. When my hands fell on his shoulders, he stiffened and lifted his face to me. I pulled gently at him, and he didn’t resist. His body followed my pull as I guided his head to my shoulder. He felt good next to me – better as he relaxed into me.
“Sorry,” he mumbled into my neck. “I guess I fucked up a perfect night out, huh? Donny Downer at your service.”
“Hey now,” I admonished softly. “Don’t say that. I’m just sorry it seems like you have quite a lot on your mind, that’s all. And you threw me a curve ball with the kiss. But I’m still here for you, no pressure, ok?”
He heaved a sigh.
“Let’s go back to your hotel,” I said. “We can sort things out there.”
He nodded his response, and I squeezed his shoulder a bit just to reassure him that everything would be fine.
The taxi ride back to the hotel was quiet and slightly tense, despite the fact that we held hands the whole time we were in the cab. I thought men in the army were a lot tougher than this, showing very little emotion and whatnot. Maybe life as a civilian had softened him up a bit, even though, from his grim countenance, it seemed as though he was trying to hold up what little stoic persona that was left from his military days.
It was about 3am when we got to his hotel and went straight to his room. I told him to go get a shower, that I’d shower afterwards. He didn’t dissent. I got out of my clothes and laid them neatly on the couch nearby, then watched TV while I waited for him to finish.
I did the onceover on him when he came out with a towel around his waist; there was still steam coming off his skin. Despite his somber mood, I still found him really attractive. I stood up and went to stand before him. He wouldn’t meet my gaze, staring instead down at his feet. I drew his head to mine and gave him a kiss on the side of his head.
“Get ready for bed. I’ll join you shortly,” I said.
I went into the bathroom, turned on the shower and adjusted the temperature to warm. And I let it wash away the sweat, dust, and drama of the last few hours. I needed some clarity and this wash would help give me some perspective. It did just that.
I dried off and joined him in bed. Kevin had his back to me. I reached out to him and turned him over, pulling him into me. He placed his head on my shoulder and arms on my chest. His eyes remained shut, and nothing was said.
“Can we talk about something else?” he asked quietly, as though to preempt any discussion of what had happened at the club.
“We don’t have to talk,” I told him, holding him tight. I felt him snuggle into me when I said that.
There was some more silence.
Kevin brought his hand up and rubbed my chest very gently, which both calmed my tightened gut and sent some sparks inappropriately, given the situation, right to my cock.
He chuckled. He appeared to know the effect he’d just had on me. “I like that,” he told me, rubbing again, his hand brushing the top of my pubes in his gentle, slow swipe.
My cock began to grow, and he hummed a short moan of appreciation. I pulled him tighter against me and brought my own hand up to still his.
“Talk to me. I’ve got plenty of time to listen,” I said, with a kiss to his forehead, still damp from shower. The taste and smell of him was enough to spur my cock’s continued growth.
He kissed my chest. “You have a really beautiful body. I didn’t know how long I could continue to ignore it every time you and were together at work. My imagination always went into overdrive whilst being next to you.”
I chuckled. “I’ve never wanted you to ignore it – not at all. But it can be the next thing we talk about, after what we should talk about, that is if you want to talk to me. I’m a great listener, and you’re safe here, Kev.” I realized too late that I’d shortened his name to an endearment, and it may be an unwelcome one.
Then, I felt what I knew was a tear, not a bead of sweat, from his right eye on my chest. No sobbing, just the tear.
“Every day, I come to the realization that I got married for the wrong reasons and stayed married for the wrong reasons…” he said in a voice weighted by quiet emotion. “I wanted to love someone and I wanted to be loved. But the problem was that growing up in my time and being this” – he gestured with his palm at his body and mine – “it was frowned upon immensely. Coming from a family such as mine didn’t make it any easier. We were what you’d consider upper class. Therefore I wasn’t free to choose who I married, let alone who to love. We had to keep the wealth from gold diggers and people who weren’t in our social circle. And we had to maintain the right kind of familial associations. Kelly was from the right kind of family. Our marriage was the perfect match both our parents sought.”
I didn’t say anything. Our chests lifted and fell with quiet breathing.
“I was lucky, you know, all things considered. We had our problems, Kelly and I… No matter how much our parents had wanted us together, we just simply weren’t suited for each other… We made the mistake of having children, thinking they would help save our marriage. But all the children did was keep us trapped in a loveless marriage. And I tried to love her, really did. But she was less inclined to keep up the charade than I was.
“And now our children are grown…makes it even harder to simply break out. You think about how messy ending it could be… bad for business, bad for the family image. My parents are gone, and I have become them…worrying about appearances.”
“So now you know who I am, and must be thinking about what kind of man you are holding.”
I wasn’t sure if it was bitterness I could hear leaking into his voice, or if I was inferring it.
“What kind of man you are?” I asked, not sure what he meant.
He answered, “A douche bag boss that wants your body and will move on at the end of the day when work is finished.” He finished saying that and began trying to get up and away from me, strong muscles straining against my hold.
“Relax!” I finally said, tired of almost struggling with him, and not letting go of my grip on him.
At the sharp tone of my command, he went completely slack with a sigh. He dropped back on the bed, on me.
“Kevin, I don’t think that at all. Give me some credit. I have worked side by side with you, and in that time, I have come to think of you as a wonderful man. And I’d like to think of myself as a good judge of character. This – you, admitting to attraction for me in spite of your marriage, and thinking it makes you a bad person… You have to stop. My impression of you hasn’t changed.”
“But it’s not a pretty reality,” he said grimly. “You don’t have to make any excuses for it.”
“Will you just stop!” I almost shouted, surprised at the intensity of my reaction to his self-deprecation. “I’m here, Kev. I came here excited to be with a hot, older man like you. And I’ve enjoyed every single thing we did leading up to now.”
“But you didn’t bargain on psychobabble baggage, did you?”
“What I didn’t bargain for was the incredible time I’ve had with you tonight. Maybe I am young and an over-romantic fool, but holding you and talking to you right now is like level 99.9 on the contentment scale for me, Kev.”
“You really mean that, don’t you?”
“Yes I mean it, Kev,” I said firmly, “one hundred and ten percent.”
“I can feel it,” he told me in a low tone of utter awe. “Fuck!” he said, almost inaudibly, clutching at me. And then, I felt his body tense against a shudder, and I knew he was fighting to hold back the sobs. “I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you…” he choked out.
”I’m still not going anywhere, even if you try to force me.”
“You will never be happy with me…”
“Only time can be the judge of that,” I said, now getting exasperated. I lifted his head toward me and moved in to kiss him, our hands exploring each other’s bodies and moaning in pre-orgasmic bliss.
“Maybe we can – if we are careful and start out right and be mindful… maybe we can take this chance and see where it goes?” he said, breaking the kiss to stare deeply at me, his expression hopeful.
I smiled, my lips slowly stretching as the beam widened. “Maybe… Plus I don’t think we’ve wasted this chance altogether. In fact, I think we may be ending this tug of war that’s been going on in here” – I touched his forehead with my forefinger – “and in here.” I moved down to his heart.
“I hope so,” Kevin said, before drawing me close again.
Or Is It?
Written by JArch