Originally published on tabsattractorfactor.wordpress.com
Have you ever looked at gay porn and thought, “How can they make bottoming look so easy?” A hung top sticks it in like a glute inject and the bottom doesn’t even flinch. Bottoming isn’t just about the physical sensation of being penetrated, it’s the emotional high of accepting someone else’s presence in your body. It’s the psychological thrill of being momentarily “owned,” of submitting yourself to the strength of another man.
This is the single biggest emotional stumbling block gay men have about bottoming—being labeled less than a man. For many of us, bottoming isn’t an opportunity to enjoy a pleasurable sexual experience but an act that threatens our sense of masculinity and the respect that goes with it. Many gay men believe that if they bottom, they will become “a bottom.” They fear that bottoming will create a new unwanted identity for them. It just may be that you haven’t been able to bottom (or been able to enjoy it) because you have so many emotional issues around the act. If you can get away from the falsehood of bottoming as an identity and see it for what it is—an erotic activity—the more relaxed and receptive you will be. Continue reading