The Boy I Never Had

g4It was February 2013. I’d just graduated from a university in South-Eastern Nigeria. No lectures, studies or exams to worry about – that felt like bliss to me. There was the occasional hook-up, but I was essentially into enjoying my company most of the time.

By the end of February, I was notified to proceed to my alma mater university to pick up my NYSC call-up letter. At this time, I felt a bit of nervousness due to the fact that my call-up number was among a batch of numbers that had previously had some issues. I was worried that these issues had made it impossible for me to influence my place of posting. I arrived in school in this state of anxiety and trepidation. I so did not like that I’d had to leave my place of posting up to the Fates. The last thing I wanted was to get thrown to any such far-flung places like the North.

Upon arrival, I was greeted with the sight of a vast sea of persons who had also come for the same purpose. My spirits sank as I realized that this was going to be another long, stressful day filled with lots of pushing, shoving and bureaucratic hassles.

This is going to take all day, I thought with growing despondency. Continue reading

Man Crush Wednesday: Kenneth Nwadike

Model Kenneth Nwadike 13I was busy minding my business at work one day, when this dude walked up to me, an incredible TALL drink of water. You see him and you see those three clichéd terms spring to life – Tall, Dark and Handsome. Kai! And he has quite the down-to-earth manner about him, as evidenced by the banter he and I soon got going.

Plus, do you know that in the modeling industry, word has it that he’s known simply as The Body? Well, check him out below, and you’ll have no doubt about that. Continue reading

Tyler Perry confirms he and girlfriend are having a baby

tylerI did not even know he was dating. Apparently, he has been shagging Ethiopian model, Gelila Bekele. And now, they are going to have a baby. The film entrepreneur confirmed the happy news over the weekend at the New York Film Festival. After reporters shouted questions about his rumored girlfriend and impending pregnancy, Tyler replied, “We’re good. Very happy. She’s excited, I’m excited so we’re very happy.”

So, Hollywood and the world at large, are there still any more whispers of his sexuality, in light of these events?

FUCK LIFE. BE HAPPY

DSC_1392-MLife is serious, never take her seriously.

You’ve got to learn how to laugh, how to be happy. You’ve got to have a support system to help you navigate her waters – friends, families, Alcoholic Anonymous, Ku Ku Klux gang… Whatever floats your boat.

Learn to take the bad moments in stride and be quick to get out of its funk. We all know we’re never getting out of her grip alive anyway, so why would you want to die inside before you’re dead outside.

Treat life kindly, laugh with her and at her. She might be tough but she sure understands how to take a chill pill and give you a bit of space. Laugh at yourself, learn to take your blows before the world throws theirs. Continue reading

Please Stop Asking Me How Lesbians Have Sex

screen-shot-2014-07-06-at-6-24-31-pmWritten by V.S. Wells, originally published on thoughtcatalog.com

It is a Friday night and I am in a pool club with my friends, and some of E’s friends who I have never met before. We are playing tag team pool. I am shit at pool.

And M takes it upon herself to mention how I sometimes write for “gay magazines”, and suddenly G, who I have never met before, stares at me like I am about to strip off and start humping every girl in the immediate vicinity for his own personal gratification. He smiles like the shark from Finding Nemo.

“You’re a lesbian? That’s so cool!” Continue reading

TO A FRIEND DYING YOUNG

KD’s very first poem as written by Rapu’m. I was going to publish one of mine but he beat me to it. Have a read below and enjoy. As the name implies, it is kinda melancholic.

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singles 32Today, I stand here

Watching you lying there

Still and silent like Debby’s doll

Eyes closed like you’re playing dead

But you’re not playing

Cos I know how it looks when you played dead

How your eyes would crinkle at the edges

Like rumpled paper

Your lips trembling with suppressed laughter Continue reading