What The Married Gay Indian Had To Say About His Marriage And Sexuality

tumblr_l9h83lvd201qb2w12o1_1280An unnamed 37-year-old Indian man writes speaks out in an essay titled “My Wife Is Friends With My Boyfriend: A Gay Man On His ‘Situation’”, and published by the Hindustan Times. He shares an honest account of what it is like to be in his situation. Read below.

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I hail from a small district in Rajasthan. I am not sure when I realised I was gay, but I was only four or five when I fell in love with a boy from my area. We would play a game, in which I would be the husband, and he would be my wife. I would wait outside his house for hours to see him. I wanted to kiss him, and be kissed by him. We would sing songs for each other. This went on till I was 10. That’s when he got married.

Back then, child marriage was common in my family, as well as in the area we lived in. Soon, my friends also started getting married. Since my lover had already been married off, I, too, got married to a girl when I was 11. At that time, I did not know that there are other people like me. I did not understand the implications and responsibilities that come with marriage.  Continue reading

Ten Things The Christian Learned About Gay People in Ten Years (Part 2)

7c623122Jesus talked about equality a lot; it made the powerful quite uncomfortable.

Written by Kathy, and originally published on canyonwalkerconnections.com

6. ASKING GAY PEOPLE TO DENY THEIR NATURAL SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS DESTRUCTIVE. Recall, homosexual orientation is no more a “behavior” than is heterosexual attraction.  Both are orientations, innate attractions. Reparative therapy (Exodus-type programs that offer results that take away “unwanted sexual attractions” or allude to a gay-to-straight conversion) treats homosexuality as if it were a “behavior” akin to other life choices like drug and alcohol usage, adultery, cheating and lying.

You would expect that the elimination of bad behaviors would result in life benefits.  However, if you force a gay person to “not be gay,” loneliness, depression, isolation and shame can result.

Some gay people do make a choice to live celibate lives.  This is called “Side B” for gay Christians; they come to a personal conviction that God is calling them to be celibate. This is not the same as the imposition of celibacy by an outsider for acceptance before God. Celibacy does not take away attraction; it only means a person is not engaging in sex. A celibate straight person is not “no longer straight” simply because they are not being sexual.  Likewise, a celibate gay person is not “no longer gay” simply because they are not being sexual. Continue reading

Ten Things The Christian Learned About Gay People in Ten Years

7c623122“God, is the truth as I understand it about being gay and Christian Your truth?”

Written by Kathy, and originally published on canyonwalkerconnections.com

In 2001, if you had asked me, “Kathy, can you be gay and Christian?”  I would have hedged a bit and fallen on the side of “No”.  I did not have any close relationships with gay people nor had I ever studied the issue in the Bible.  I did not even know one gay Christian that I knew of.  It was from this paradigm that I formulated my opinions about the lives of gay people and made assumptions about their status with God.  All that changed when I met Netto on a hiking trail.  It is now ten years later and I offer ten things that I wish straight people, especially Christians, knew about gay people.

People who do not understand the views of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people are not all bigots; and people who are fully affirming in their support of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people are not all heretics.  This conversation often is relegated to love and hate, right and wrong, but there is a wide expanse between the two sides.  And that middle group is, for the most part, silent.  You are the ones to whom I am offering these insights, from experience, knowledge, study, relationship and with a genuine interest in engaging the too-often-silent middle.

With Bible in hand and in spirit, an open mind and heart and a willingness to listen to people, I entered the conversation that often brings out the worst in people.  I hope to inspire you to move and to speak up with the Jesus-voice inside you. Continue reading

Love And Sex In The City (Episode 6)

EditedIt’d been two days since that disastrous evening (well, for me), two days since I last interacted with Bryson and Paschal. I refused to pick Paschal’s calls, and, it was only by the grace of God that I’d not already deleted him from my BBM contact list. But with the rate at which he was going with all the pings he’d been sending my way, despite my steadfast unresponsiveness, my patience was starting to wear thin.

But Paschal wasn’t on my mind at all this early Friday morning as I trekked the short distance from the bus stop to my workplace. It was very early, a few minutes past 6am. I’d left my house earlier than usual because I couldn’t bear to be around all the anxiety and long faces that filled the place. Continue reading