In The Lonely Hour

The other day, Chucks (not real name) messaged me to tell me he would be in Lagos in a couple of days. I was ecstatic because we had planned this meet for ages. Chucks lives in Abuja, is in his mid 30s and is married with kids. He asked me to help make enquiries about a decent hotel where we could spend the night as his flight was scheduled to arrive very late.

All was going fine till he casually dropped… “Do you mind if I come with a friend, for a threesome?”

Words I’d heard before, a preposition I was used to getting and something I had indulged a few times during my ‘threesome fantasy days’.

I don’t exactly know what it was this time, maybe the casual way it was dropped, but I absolutely lost it. I went from teasing about how I couldn’t wait to ride his very married dick to unleashing a slur of venom on him. Such was my vitriol that all he kept saying was sorry over and over again. But I wasn’t done; I went on to say I didn’t want anything to do with him and deleted his numbers. Oh, and also blocked him on Whatsapp for added affect.

Yet the anger wouldn’t abate. I went from being angry to being really upset to the point that I was on the verge of tears. I knew why I was upset but I didn’t want to admit so.

‘Ebola could cleanse the world of atheists and gay people.’ – declares Christian broadcaster

An American Christian radio host, Rick Wiles, who enthusiastically looks for signs that the world will end, welcomed the Ebola virus as a cleansing force.

“This Ebola epidemic could become a global pandemic, and that’s another name for plague,” said broadcaster Wiles on his “Trunews” program.

“It may be the great attitude adjustment that I believe is coming,” he continued. “Ebola could solve America’s problems with atheism, homosexuality, sexual promiscuity, pornography, and abortion.”

Wiles was enthusiastic on Tuesday about the arrival of Ebola, and it was reported that he warned the day before that President Barack Obama may intentionally spread the deadly virus through a mandatory and mysterious vaccine. That would somehow then allow Obama to declare martial law and force Americans into FEMA camps, the religious right broadcaster theorized.

“If Ebola becomes a global plague, you better make sure the blood of Jesus is upon you, you better make sure you have been marked by the angels so that you are protected by God,” Wiles warned. “If not, you may be a candidate to meet the Grim Reaper.”

#sigh. So atheists, homosexuals and sluts, right? So far, that’s the denomination of Africa’s population that’s dying from Ebola, no?