NOW, A THOUGHT FOR KENNY BADMUS’ WIFE

Spanish F1 Grand Prix - RaceWritten by Akin Akintayo, and originally published on akinblog.nl

On the one hand, praise.

A couple of days ago, I celebrated the coming out of Kenny Badmus on both the matter of his sexuality and HIV-status with the hope that his decision will give strength and encouragement to the many who suffer under the societal strictures of conformity and despair.

However, it was impossible for the matter to just end there, because there was one key guiding principle that I had to revisit after a bit of reflection and discussion, the one of people who are hurt by those actions we take when we are faced with other difficult options we refuse to choose.

Now, Kenny Badmus said he learnt this from his father: “Die for your own truth, even if it’s unpopular, but don’t harm others with it.” Indeed, I believe there is a very strong influence of this in his decision to accept who he is, but that lesson has come long after damage has been done.

On the other hand, however… Continue reading

MY DICK IS BIGGER THAN YOURS

g17I solemnly swear that I have no judgment for anyone’s lifestyle, no matter how debauched; I may be filled with distaste, but I will not give voice to my opinion, unless the individual is someone I care about, or the lifestyle borders on folly and destructive to other individuals.

The true story I’m about to tell is an instance of the second scenario.

I live in Abuja. That city, with all its sedate glitter, can fool one into thinking that there isn’t much that is shocking and dirty going on in its underbelly. I mean, any such decadence is what you’d expect to find in Lagos, the city where anything is possible. Not so in Abuja. Here, we are supposed to do things with a dignified pace. We should live dignified lives. Interact with dignified airs. Live in dignified surroundings. Have dignified sex. And well, break the rules in a dignified manner.

But the man I want to talk about is too much of a hot mess to be dignified. Continue reading