JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 28)

Blog_KD JournalJanuary 31

Okay… I didn’t want to put anything up this Sunday, because I didn’t have much to write. Actually I had something to write, but I wondered if it would be a bad thing if I put it up. But then I thought, what the heck… All these people know I have a boring journal about my life on a really popular gay blog, but decide to still say and do the things they say and do.

So… This isn’t to spite anyone. This is just me doing what I do, recording my life for those interested in it to read.

It was a fateful morning, not sure what day it was… I was asleep and dreaming about my cat, Chuks, when I was awakened by a knock. I was naked on my bed, so I asked who it was. There was a faint reply. I thought it must be some neighbour chick of mine who I was crushing mildly on, and so I wrapped my bedsheets around my waist and opened the door.

On my threshold was my ex, Duke.

Wonderful. Continue reading

LOVE AND SEX IN THE CITY (Episode 25)

Blog_Love And Sex In The City 02RAINBOWMAN SUN 7: 02 AM

THE COMMANDMENTS ACCORDING TO THE GAY SCRIPTURES (Hate-ehros, stay away please)

1: Thou shall practice Safe Sex whenever and wherever you see thouself. Always slip on that CD. But if there’s none available at that moment, then wank! A raw Kporo and Shobo must not make contact to avoid taking ARTs for the rest of your life.

2: Thou shall not let a Shobo/Kporo go to waste. Whenever you’re presented with an opportunity, don’t waste it, but do this while putting the Number 1 rule in practice. This is because a wasted opportunity may not repeat itself again for you.

3: Thou shall not pay any visit to any guy you meet online especially if he’s unemployed, a student, keeps asking you to come over, has a shady appearance, appears too good to be true, is from Badoo, doesn’t know his Role when you asked him at first, tells you it’s his first time… Ask such a fellow to visit you or better still…RUN!

4: Be good at whatever you do. If it is dick-sucking, suck it well. Make him nut. If it’s kissing, kiss well. Don’t bite or kiss with an unclean breath. If you’re Bottom, take that Kporo properly, whyne that waist well and make him gasp your name. If you’re Top, pound that Shobo well, make it memorable. Make him sing hallelujah songs. Keep this particular commandment well, and trust me, he will always come back for more.

5: Market Importation is good and healthy: Stop doing roro in your neighbourhood. It is always better to import your market from afar, but please make sure the market is genuine to avoid Kito in your house.

Keep these rules and thou will be fine and well. Continue reading

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 27)

Blog_KD JournalJanuary 23

My money haf almost finish o. Lol.  You see ehn, most adults forget what it’s like to write exams. I cannot afford to cook when I have mounds of parasites, drugs and pathological names to remember. Also my active brain needs nourishment, and if I crave dominos and coldstone, I will go ahead and buy them, because I am relieving stress (By the way, don’t mix ice cream and pizza, unless you have weird taste buds like me).

So, that was my argument with my dad. Not exactly like that. I can be spoilt but I’m not that spoilt. I did tell him that I used most of the money on food and since I didn’t have time to cook, most of it was gone. I also lost my ID card and I had to spend money in the process of retrieving it. And I’ve spent quite a lot of cash on these expensive Nigerian data plans, downloading YouTube videos to supplement my knowledge and streaming porn to jerk off with when I feel über-stressed and need to relax (I didn’t add that one sha). Continue reading

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 26)

Blog_KD JournalJanuary 1

I’ve always had a hunch

That putting sentences

On different lines

When they could have all been on the same line

Turns a rather bland sentence

Into poetry

Lol. I know it’s not as easy as that, but look at what I just did. Isn’t it biuriful! I think that’s what Vhar basically does… *strokes beard in thought*

I’m writing exams. Yay! (Please, note my heavy sarcasm) This exam is however much more lenient than my previous ones. We have at least 24 hours before each paper, which is enough time for me to go through my notes and work on past questions with times for 10-minute power naps in between.

My life has been relatively dry… Not that dry though. At the risk of getting a lot of sneers and jeers from people, I will state that my boyfriend and I have broken up. Why? Continue reading

My Infamous Fuck Buddy

breakupsI still strongly believe a rehabilitation center aimed at helping and solving that issue should be created that’s IF you wanna turn STRAIGHT from being GAY…

How can a guy say he loves another guy? That is just weird and plain stupid…

I think it is mental disorder #IJS…

These were the comments I woke up to one morning. I felt a sharp stab in my heart, that feeling you get when you are in a mix of disappointment and resentment. I have seen lots of posts like this throughout my tour of cyberspace, but why does this hurt more? I couldn’t QWERTY my feelings like I have always done whenever I get to see such misguided and hate spewing posts.

Well, what exactly do you do when your first love and family friend decides to join the homophobic train? Nothing much, I suppose.

I remember the eventful way he ended what we had years ago. Continue reading

Signs She Is Gay And Cheating On You

aa-homosexual-man-w-two-femalesSo, in response to the post yesterday about what the womenfolk should look out for in the detection of their men’s gayness, a KDian penned a parody of the list, a sort of humourous rejoinder. Lol. Note: he’s talking to you, the gay man who intends to get married. 😀 Read and share your thoughts.

*

1. She has way too many friends. They tend to cluster and talk in loud noises but shut up anytime you step into the room.

2. She spends more time with her “girls” than with you, especially at the salon, market, shopping malls and the occasional bowling alley. Who does that?

3. She is too conscious of her looks every time, even in her dreams.

4. She doesn’t take calls from unknown numbers when she is with you. If she does, it’s always one relative or old friend from secondary school. Did she mention she used to share a bunk with that old friend? What’s her name again – Ngozi?

5. She doesn’t have sex with you on the regular. Headache, her period, fatigue – they are the most common reasons given. Continue reading

This Thing Called Cheating

n-gay-men-monogamy-large570Cheating isn’t something new to any of us. Many have done it, many others are planning to. Your dear bae who gives you head ten times before dawn probably had a raunchy session with some loafer while you were at work.

Over time, people tend to try to justify their cheating with excuses like,

*You don’t care about me anymore

*You don’t pay attention to me anymore

*You’re hardly around

*I hardly see you these days

*You don’t tell me you love me anymore

*I was horny and you were not around (I’ve actually heard that one before)

There are so many others. Continue reading

EMOTIONS ARE MESSY

singles 9There’s nothing I hate more than laundry, I thought to myself one hot sunny Saturday afternoon as I spread the last T-shirt on the laundry line in the backyard. At least I’m done this time.

I headed back inside, locked the back door, and made my way to the living room, collapsing promptly on the couch. Minutes later, boredom set in, and I reached for my phone. I saw the blinking notification light, and it was a BBM message from Chibuzor, my friend with many delicious benefits.

‘Hey,’ he’d said.

I grinned to myself and replied, ‘Heeey, you sexy thing.’ Continue reading

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 22)

Blog_KD JournalDecember 4

I’ve got a long list of ex lovers. They’ll tell you I’m insane.

Taylor, you get me so well. My list isn’t as long as yours though. But I still love you.

Anyhoo…I’ve got my phone back and all is right with the world once again. I do hope it doesn’t fuck me up anytime soon again.

I have decided to sing during my faculty week that’s coming up in the next two weeks. I be nervous as hell, but I think it’s time I allowed myself perform in front of a small crowd. I’m not extremely good with the guitar, because I consider my voice my main instrument, but even then, I know people that are waaaay better than me in singing. I was in Port Harcourt recently (don’t ask what I went to do there) and I visited a karaoke bar, and this guy sang three songs and did fabulously well. The bar gave him an ovation and it just made me feel like my voice was bland and boring. Nonetheless, I sang a couple of songs and though it wasn’t exactly a hit, I held my own down.

The kind if singer I hope to be is one that can channel emotion through his voice. Make people feel happy or sad or melancholy and whatnot. Not just someone who can sing and knows how to do riffs and runs. Songs that are memorable to me are those that can channel their emotions to me and I can feel or at least understand what the singer is feeling.

I’ve picked the songs I’d like to sing – Amnesia by Five Seconds Of Summer, and Stardust by Mikka. I can connect to these songs on an emotional level and they seem relatively easy. I’ve done covers of them and people liked them. Maybe if anyone is interested in hearing, they could drop their email addresses with Pinky and I’ll send the file across. But singing a song into a recorder and actually singing to a crowd are two different things. Well… wish me luck and I hope I don’t choke.

Online shopping can be addictive. My mum is out of the country and I’ve been shipping things to her to bring back home for me. I won’t be surprised if my parents cut down my pocket money or I get an interrogation on where I’m getting my money from. I won’t put it past my mum to ask, “I hope it’s not that you are doing that thing and they are giving you money for it,” and I will give her my best innocent look and say, “What thing?” Then skip merrily away with my new found property.

I prefer to buy gadgets over clothes. I have only three pairs of footwear. One for when I want to be cooperate, a pair of All Stars (probably fake), and a pair of fabulous rubber slippers that look like leather (I call them my fabulous slippers). I don’t get people that have more than five pairs of shoes, especially when they use their money to buy them. What is wrong with you people!!!

I be keeping meh hair in a ‘fro and people love it! Me sef, I love it. I’m not one to care about looks (ain’t nobody got time for that!) But once in a while I find a look I like and I stick to it.

One night, I lay up wondering whether secrets are good for a relationship. Like things from one’s past. I think it can be good. As much as it’s great to know all about a person, there’s the slight chance it would get boring, right? But then again, there are some things that shouldn’t be kept from your partner. So I figured it’s just one of those things where moderation comes in. Some things should not necessarily be said. A friend (*coughs*) told me of how he spent the weekend with his boyfriend in a friend’s lovely house. Some weeks later, the boyfriend sort of offhandedly mentioned that he and that friend had shagged many times, and my friend just felt really awkward about it. It might be a bit silly… but I totally see myself in my friend’s shoes. (*coughs again*)

I stop typing here. Reward yourself with a cookie if you read this and didn’t fall asleep. Buh bye.

Written by James

Let’s Discuss…About Love In The Gaybourhood

Blog_Let's DiscussI once updated a story (fiction) here about a Nigerian guy who found love with his wealthy European school-mate, who he met abroad during studies. As a refresher, the story is titled ‘THE WHITE CHRISTMAS’ (Click HERE to read). I gave the story a happily-ever-after finish, and some people, commenters and friends, scoffed at that. The general contention was that African gay men don’t do love. And they certainly do not do happily-ever-afters. A slew of friends bombarded my BBM with lectures to prove that point. If it is not kowtowing to what society expects of all men, a friend of mine argued, it is the fact that we are not fashioned to think of men being with men for the long haul. It’s just not in our psyche to buy into the concept of gay marriage, or anything as remotely long-lasting as that.

I disagreed then. I still disagree now. I’m a romantic, not an incurable one though, but I believe that societal demands notwithstanding, it is possible for an average African gay man or lesbian to find someone, love someone and stick with that someone, undisturbed with what society expects.

Yea, well, maybe not in this continent, I’ll concede that. But it is possible.

A friend of mine who schools in a more exotic part of Africa recently told me the story you’ll read below about love in the gaybourhood. It’s a short one. But something I felt I should share.

Read and share your thoughts. Continue reading