Those Awkward Moments (Episode 9)

Blog_Those Awkward MomentsPreviously on THOSE AWKWARD MOMENTS: So Kevin’s mum takes him to see Jude in the hospital, in spite of the fact that siszilla Janet had made it expressly clear that he was not to show his face around there. Some major cojones, right? Well, fortunately for Kevin, Mummy Dearest must have had something over Janet, because the woman becomes the perfect little girl when she sees them. We don’t know what Mummy Dearest has up her sleeve against Janet, but before we can ask her, she slumps right there in the hospital. Right after Kevin goes in to see that Jude’s female ex is back in the picture, kissing him and everything. I mean, can’t a guy catch a break around here?

And that’s what you missed on Episode 8.

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“Shut up and stop lying! Do you take me for a fool!” Father barked as I cowered, dropping to my knees in front of him, my face down.

I quivered as I saw his trousers sag around his waist. He had just whipped his belt out from the waistline. And because he was a retired soldier, I whimpered at the expectation of the agony that was surely to come. Continue reading

Dear KD: I Wonder About Him

Blog_Dear KDSo this thought has been lingering on my mind for a while now, and it got triggered again when I saw a missed call a few nights ago. The missed call was from a really close family friend. He’s like a brother from another mother. This was a very small thing that got me thinking, not for the first time – what does this dude really want? Does he like me? Does he like me like me? Or is all this perseverance to remain close a result of the fact that both our families have been really beneficial to each other over the years?

Even though our families were close, me and him – we never really became close till very recently. We schooled in different states – different countries at some point – and then, there was the hustle to become independent. It was only after we sort of got settled in our individual lives that we reunited and got really close, despite the fact that we don’t live in the same city. But anytime I visit Abuja, I stay at his place, and he always ensured I had memorable visits; always such an attentive, generous host to me. Continue reading

BASIC INSTINCT

cropped-untitled031He is French and about forty-five years old. (Let’s call him Pierre) A friend of mine introduced me to him sometime last year. At the time, he was living with his Cameroonian boyfriend. We visited them often, and we’d have lunch together and discuss vast issues. It was always fun.

And then, he split from his boyfriend, but our friendship blossomed. When it seemed as though he was putting the works on me, I made it clear to him that I don’t feel sexually attracted to men who are very much older than I am. He told me he respected my decision, and we continued being friends.

And then, he invited me to lunch at his place. We’d been talking about a wide range of LGBT issues through phone chats, and I figured lunch would be a good opportunity to rehash some of those talks and revisit the areas we disagreed on. And so, I honoured the lunch date on the late afternoon about two weeks ago. Continue reading

KIZITO SPEAKS VIII

Blog_Kizito SpeaksDo, Re, Mi, Fa, So, La, Ti, Do… 🙂 lol.

I love singing! There’s not a moment that passes by without me singing or humming or making musical sounds. I’m musical like that… Speaking of singing, that’s what choristers do! And speaking of choristers, there’s the one I’ve introduced you all to. His name is Donald.

I had no inclination toward him, but he felt a lot for me. At first, he was a pest. But overtime, we became acquaintances – close ones. We went for rehearsals together, went home together with Peju. She’s the third in our humorous clique. It was always fun walking home with them sha. Always. Sometimes, we’d have a few other people join us on our walk home. And a few other times, it was alone with Donald. Hmm. Our talks were different, awkward, and other things. Queer talk and gossip. And it was also “Gimme a chance” time. *sigh* Continue reading

VIOLATED

singles 13I have a thing for younger guys. Once I meet you online and discover that you are older than I am, then I’d shut you out from my mind. I might continue chatting with you, but I’ll keep on posting you till you get tired of me and end up deleting me or blocking me. Anytime I tell friends about my likes, they end up making fun of me and call me a cradle-robber. So then, I decided to give the older guys a chance . . . well, since the younger guys have been falling my hand.

So, I was on 2go (Judge Nut) on a Monday morning. It was a slow day at work and I was bored. So I decided to visit Men’s Lounge (or is it Men Only?), and then added a guy in Abuja. His name is Chuks and he is twenty-eight years old. His 2go profile picture was okay, even though I could not see his face; but he was lying on a bed and he looked hot. We began to chat. He told me he was doing his Industrial Training (IT) in a hotel and was on night shift. I also found out that we stay in the same area. That was actually the main reason why I did not cut off from him. I thought we could be friends and would hunt young chaps together. He described his area to me, but I did not know the place because I don’t go out much. Continue reading

This Is How You School A Homophobe

Absalom is one of those people I’m just grateful to call friend. One of his qualities – his intelligence (and his crazy, lol). He recently had it out with a female friend of his on the ever-controversial issue of – what else? – homosexuality. And below is an extract from their chatversation.

It all began with her attempting to introduce Absalom to a guy for some professional assistance. It turns out that the guy is gay and she mentioned that. And so, Absalom pounced. Lol. Check on it.

gay schooling 1 Continue reading

Those Awkward Moments (Episode 8)

Blog_Those Awkward MomentsPreviously On THOSE AWKWARD MOMENTS: After a surprisingly great first day working for Demoniker Dawson, Kevin gets home to see his mum waiting for him. After the ugliness of their past, he’s not very welcoming of her. The road to forgiveness is really rough; both mother and son soon discover that. But Mother is not giving up. She sets out to make amends, first by making breakfast, and then, insisting on taking Kevin to the hospital to see Jude. The same hospital and Jude that Kevin had been banned from getting anywhere close to by Jude’s older sister, Janet.

And that’s what you missed on Episode 7.

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HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!

This phrase was one Jude used a lot whenever something terrible or incomprehensible happened. When his phone died – Houston, we have a problem!

When his dog died – Houston, we have a problem!

When his many failed hetero-relationships died – Houston, we have a problem!

Even when both his parents died, Houston was the first to know.

I’d usually say to him, “This Houston guy must be exhausted from the calls you give him every time something happens.” Continue reading

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 40)

Blog_James' Journal

June 20

You know how some people say the dumbest shit and it leaves you feeling so disheartened about the fate of the human race if people like that exist… Well, I’ve experienced it quite lately from different people. Like the girl that knows of my sexuality but still uses it as an insult on guys, even though she swears she accepts me for who I am…or my classmate who was taking panadol for Caitlyn Jenner’s headache…or the guy who thinks a Versatile guy is a closet bottom 99% of the time.

Let’s see… If a person is Bottom and Bottom alone, you could say he’s quite incapable mentally of being Top, and even if he does, he doesn’t enjoy it. A Top would rather not get fucked too, because he wouldn’t enjoy it. He could just think he won’t enjoy it, or he’s tried and tested it and found out he doesn’t like it at all, and then sticks to being Top. Either way, he’s doing what he enjoys the most. Continue reading

What’s On Your Mind… VI

Blog_What's On Your MindA few months ago, a certain KDian was published with a story about his friend who is a good dancer and who intended to partake at a campus competition. This KDian was worried that since his friend is effeminate, his dancing at the competition might draw unnecessary attention to him and perhaps confirm the speculation and rumors about his sexuality, and then he, being close friends with the dancer, would automatically be tagged as gay.

As someone who has become comfortable with his sexuality and in his own skin, it’s easy to dismiss these concerns with an impatient wrist flick. But then, I remember my days at the university, when I was scared to death of anyone even having the slightest flicker of suspicion concerning my sexuality. I was so obsessed with covering up my tracks and ensuring that no one ever had any reason to imagine that I was anything but heterosexual. I devoted enormous energies and resources into being “one of the boys” at the expense of my true self. Apparently my efforts didn’t go far enough, because a few gay gays with very functional gaydar ‘sniffed’ me out and would occasionally come over to ‘say hi’. My response, driven by blind panic, was usually the same – a frosty countenance, and an inward prayer that no one was observing me interact with these ‘gays’. Continue reading

TUG OF WAR

IMG-20150613-WA000Author’s Note: This is based on a true life story. Whose story, you may ask? Wel,l I don’t know. It is probably the story of that Father, Brother, Friend, Husband, Uncle, Mentor, Boss who is right next to you. They may seem well put together and composed, but inside they are fragile, because there’s a war going on.

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Slumping into my bed after a really long day at work, I was looking forward to just relaxing after a shower and dinner. My laptop bag acted as a pillow while I shut my eyes for a bit, just to savour the peace and quiet of my room.

My phone just then began ringing, waking me up from my near-slumber. I checked the caller ID and it was Mrs. Ate, my CEO’s personal assistant. She was calling me from the office phone. This couldn’t be good, I thought as I answered.

“Good evening, ma. You still dey office so? I think say you for don dey prepare to close by now?”

“Hmm, my dear,” Mrs. Ate replied, “I still dey o. Oga asked me to call you sef. He wants to speak with you. Hold on while I patch him through.”

A few seconds later, and then the voice of my CEO, Dr. Charles Ebi, sailed through the receiver. “Felix, good evening… How are you?” Continue reading