When Something Died

5507777269_7514e305a2WRITER’s NOTE: This is a story from my past.

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Blurry-eyed and fuzzy-headed, I woke up. I’ve had exactly one type of hangover in my life, and this didn’t feel like that. My cashmere pants was falling slightly beneath my butt and what felt like warm milk trailed from it down through my socks. I lit my phone’s backlight to my legs and my white socks were now a stained mosaic of blood and grass stains.

I also was in pain, massive pain, and this pain was in my rectum. So while reminiscent of why I should be lying in the middle of the campus field at about 3am, a different pain struck my senses back to the present – this pain was different, and exponentially more excruciating.

As I slowly came to a semblance of awareness, I realized I was missing about five hours of my life. I began to be stricken with flashbacks and pain, and a deep rising, heated and nauseating fear.

Then it hit me – I had been gang raped. Continue reading

Porn Star Jarec Wentworth Tells His Side Of The Extortion Tale From Prison

PicturesIt seems kind of crazy that before he even goes on trial, Jarec Wentworth a.k.a. Teofil Brank (above left) would reach out to a porn blog and tell his entire side of the story, potentially further incriminating himself.

But that appears to be what has happened.

Jarec appears to have written to Str8UpGayPorn.com over the weekend to tell his whole side of the story, confirming the identity of alleged extortion victim Donald Burns (above right), and going further to suggest that some innocent gifts and “hush money” have now been mischaracterized as blackmail.

He says that he and Burns go back about two years, and that he and possibly another (former) Sean Cody model had been paid multiple times to have group sex with Burns. In his version of events, Donald Burns was paying him willingly, and the money he received was never extorted. And, according to Jarec, Burns offered him the Audi freely and without ever being threatened.

Here, for the first time since his arrest, is Jarec Wentworth/Teofil Brank in his own words: Continue reading

Dude Who Gave Cabbie BJ In Exchange For Ride Is Wondering If He Was Raped

o-TAXI-CAB-facebookIn a recent Reddit thread titled “Was I Raped?” mylordm9 writes:

“Yesterday I went to a gay party. I went outside and was immedeatly (sic) in front of the train station. I needed to get a train to get home. I just missed it though. I sat outside and waited for the next one when a cab came along and asked me where I needed to go. I said that I don’t have the money but he offered me a ride anyways. This of course should have been a red flag but I was drunk and I made it very clear that I just wanted a ride. I’d pay if it was cheaper but I didnt want to have to do anything for it. He said yeah sure just get in I get you home and you don’t have to do anything.”

Turns out, this was a lie. At least according to mylordm9. He continues:

“Anyways, during the ride he got his dick out and wanted me to blow him. I was so afraid that I did and well.. now i feel terrible. I am such a dumbass for getting in the cab and I hate myself for it. I cant get over the feeling.” Continue reading

That Piece About Men As Victims And Survivors Of Sexual Assault Too

n-MALE-SEXUAL-ASSAULT-VICTIM-large570This piece is an op-ed written by Joseph Rogers, and originally published on theorion.com. And I update this as a dedication to my missing friend, iDuke, once a victim of sexual assault, and every reader of Kito Diaries, man or woman, who has been violated sexually at one time or another in their lives.

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It does not always happen in an alley.

It does not always happen in the dark.

It does not always happen at knifepoint.

It does not always happen in the park.

It always leaves scars.

As difficult as it has been writing this, there’s a point — a perspective, mine and other men’s, that shouldn’t be silent.

One of the greatest men I know once told me if I really wish to make a difference in the world I have to tell my story.

Not the public story I share with others in polite arenas — the real, personal one. Continue reading

Daughters, I Will Learn To Teach You…

Father-daughter-dad-the-trentWhen I finally decide to blow brazenly into the capacious life of mother – er, fatherhood, synthetically, with a rock and another man’s name, I do not hesitate to say that I would want to raise all girls – two girls.

I don’t want to be a mother (father) to sons.

If I’ve learned anything about being a man, it is that being a father is designed to be a contact sport, and far too many of us retire before we even see what the field looks like.

If I’ve learned anything about a woman, it is that no matter how empowering they seem, their existence was designed to never stand a chance. But it’s a lie. They are strong, in some ways stronger than men. I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men. They are far superior, always have been. Continue reading

HIS KITO STORY (EDITION 12)

200019237-001My kito story is not quite the kito story.

I’m Ade, 22 and I have been and known I was gay for all my life. You know that kind of gayness that’s hard to miss and can be spotted from 100 miles away? I was once nominated as the “mother general” of the student hostel where I live (story for another day).

After I finished Secondary school a few years ago, I decided to move to Abuja. I had heard so much about that city, how it flowed with milk and honey, how there were lots and lots of ‘generous’ and rich gays, and how there was an abundance of good sex to be had. I had absolutely no doubt in my mind that if I managed to move to Abuja, it would only be a matter of time before I snagged my own rich, loving sugar daddy. I was emboldened by the story of my role model, Madonna, who hitchhiked her way to New York City with just $20 and is today a globally famous star.

Itching to recreate my own story of the rise to stardom, I left my lovely Osun State and moved in with an aunt who lived in one of the slums on the outskirts of Abuja. It was a squalid and depressing place, a universe away from the bright glittering mansion dripping with opulence that I yearned and craved for. But I never once let the ghetto depress me or kill my dreams; I was sure that this was only a temporary phase and soon, I would land exactly where I wished to be – in the arms of someone rich and loving, who would take care of me, and who I would love and give myself to totally.

I held on to that dream for two years. Continue reading

Not Just Another Kito Story

PicturesHi.

Came the message on WhatsApp. From a number whose contact I didn’t own.

Na so you dey forget person, abi?

That followed after.

I ignored the chat till I was settled for the day with clients whose projects I was in charge of. I responded later at 2pm with a curt ‘If you were important, I’d have remembered you.’ That was meant to discourage any more response.

It didn’t. He replied with, ‘C’mon, you don’t forget a dick like mine so soon, especially since you didn’t get to take it beyond oral.’

I laughed disdainfully, at this fool, and delayed responding until I got home. And then, I told him to take his hope of a dick which wasn’t memorable in the first place and shove it in a keyhole. I just wasn’t feeling the guy.

Two weeks later, he said hi again. This time, he followed it with. ‘Remember when you sucked me and didn’t lemme fuck you?’  Continue reading