HIS COMING OUT STORY (It’s A Family Affair Too)

As I lay on my bed early that April, my heart raced as I pondered over what may have transpired the previous night. I was left all alone in the sitting room as my mum and siblings held a discussion in the bedroom. This was quite unusual as we normally had our discussions together. The hushed tone of their conversation was far from comforting. Somehow, I knew I was the topic of their discussion.

Months prior to that time, I made the tough decision of telling my mother of my sexuality. She didn’t yell or wail, as I had imagined. Instead, she calmly told me that it was good I told her and even blamed me for not telling her earlier. She said everything was going to be fine. I blinked in disbelief as I heard her words. It sounded too good to be true –indeed, it was.

Photo: When Family Doesn’t Mind

Mike Daemon recently came out to his brother via whatsapp. And below is the brief chatversation that ensued.

MOVING FURTHER AWAY FROM THE CLOSET

You came out to your family and a few friends, and no one ever talked about it at all. No one asked if you’d found love. No one asked if there was someone you were currently seeing, or even how you were feeling.

You came out from the closet and stepped into a room full of broken bones on a very squishy wooden floor, and every step you made was like a wakeup call to the wild animals that there was a foreign object in the room.

And you wondered: Which is better, the stifling closet or the awkward lounge?

Nobody talks about the next step after coming out. Scratch that. Nobody knows the next step after coming out. Well, here is an idea: if you are still in the closet, enjoy the comfy dark confinement. And if you are out, welcome to the living nightmare where all you once knew . . . well, life just became a blank, nasty slate.

A couple of months after coming out to my family, I began to notice that things were good, but not great, and definitely not the same. I used to be a loner even among my family members, but now I make loners look like party people on steroids. Most times, I just wish I remained in the closet where my worst fear was how long it would take my travel documents to be ready so I can move to Europe.

But I am out. And I am not going back in.

HIS COMING OUT STORY (Edition 3)

“I’m Gay.”

I finally dared to look up. I wasn’t sure what I saw those eyes. Could it be pain? Anger? Shock? I couldn’t define it. I looked back down at my feet. I just had my pedicure done and at the moment, it was the most beautiful thing I could stare at. It gave me joy and sudden hope that whatever the outcome, these beautiful feet would take me to a place where I can be me.

“Are you sure? Why didn’t you ever tell me?” The voice sounded so far and strangled, I couldn’t recognize it.

I looked up from my feet and met those eyes with a piercing gaze of my own. Why? You’re seriously asking that question? Really? Give me one good reason why I should have told you? You always had something hurting to say when the word ‘homosexual’ comes on the news or is randomly passed around by your club members during afternoon tea and some crumpets. Tell me how I could have said something to someone who has an agenda against us. TELL ME!

“What? What do you mean?” My words came choked up.

LOVE AND SEX IN THE CITY (Episode 32)

“Who is gay?” Tonia asked again.

She finally settled her gaze on me. Whether she was looking to me for the answer, or she knew I was the one she was asking about, I had no idea.

However, I took a deep inhalation, mentally bracing myself for her reaction, and answered, “I am. I am gay.”

The quietness that followed after my admission appeared suspended, with emotions held up by the tentative grasp of uncertainty. I waited. Fabian waited. And Tonia stood there, staring at me, her expressive face revealing the effort she was expending mentally to process this.

Then her eyes softened, and her lips tilted upward in a small smile, before she raised a hand to my chin. “Oh DeeDee,” she murmured. “How long have you had to carry this burden all on your own?”

“Wait, Tonia…are you supporting this?” Fabian cut in heatedly.

What’s On Your Mind?

Well, I’m glad you asked.

In a minute, I’ll tell you.

Dennis has his weekly rants, James has his journals, Bobby has his Behind-the-HIV-scenes series, and Pinky’s Loving and Sexing in Lagos City are anxiously looked forward to each week. I have come to realize that I, like most of us on here, witness and create rant-worthy or journal-worthy events on a regular basis. And so, drawing inspiration from these KDian literary works, this is an attempt to share with us all a few of my musings as well . . . you know, to tell you what’s on my mind. And No, I am way lazier than PP, DM, Bobby or James, and so, my musings will likely not be a weekly affair; they will be far less frequent. However, if and whenever they do pop up here, I’d love to hear your thoughts, advice, suggestions, observations, whatever you gat. Bring it on!

*

So, yea, that thing on my mind…

Empire’s Jussie Smollett Comes Out, Says ‘There Is No Closet.’

There’s been a lot of speculation about Empire actor Jussie Smollett’s sexuality since the show has risen in popularity, fueled in part by his reluctance to talk about his personal life in the media. Now he’s made a special appearance with Ellen to sort-of-kinda-come out.

Jussie plays a gay role on the show, and last week, in a recent Q&A, his costar Malik Yoba was asked about the success of the series and its impact, and specifically brought up the gay representation on the show. He said:

“I think that our show represents a huge opportunity to stay in the culture beyond entertainment value and there’s an intrinsic nature of you have the gay factor, right? So, obviously, Lee (Daniels, co-creator) is gay. That was an important storyline for him. I think it’s important for people to see themselves. Even within the Black community. But if you aren’t really, really taking it off of screen and making it live in the community in a significant way … like I know Jussie, he is gay, and he’s very committed to issues around the LGBT community. He and I have a very close relationship.”

Many on social media were upset that Yoba apparently outed his costar.

No Strings With Mike Daemon (Episode 2)

Hello!

First of all, I’d like to announce that the site for #NoStrings With Mike Daemon is now up. You may click HERE to check on it.

And today, we have the second episode of the podcast. Trending on this week’s show is Imogen Heap, Shamir, and an exciting exclusive discuss with Mike Daemon, concerning the subject ‘Reconciling your sexuality with your religion.’ Is that even possible? As well as theories concerning possible ways that one could be outed tagged ‘Out of the Closet 101’… The show finally concludes with the Movie of the Week: A Must See! Then comes the question of the week!

Click HERE to check on it.

Watch The Twin Brothers Who Came Out To Their Father

This video was posted on YouTube a few days ago and it has already gotten over 5 million views in that space.

The twin boys, Aaron and Austin Rhodes, decided to come out as gay to their father and to the world via their YouTube page. They called up their father in the video to tell him that they both were gay and it was an emotionally charged moment.

The video is all a lot of people have been talking about on social media in the past few days.

Kenny Badmus Comes Out

This is a mistake a lot of us make. We all want to change people to conform to our preferences. We find it easier to play god in the lives of people we did not make. – Kenny Badmus.

Such is the damage the expectations of society wreaks in the lives of men like brand expert, Kenny Badmus, pushing them to live lives that they did not bargain for.

You must all have already read or heard about Kenny Badmus’ coming out in a post on Facebook.

Read his post below:

When I first told my ex-wife that I was gay, we were far from being married. I wanted her to find other men honorably, who had a thing for women. I never did. I ‘swear down.’ I was only obeying the popular demand of traditions. Now, this was my terrible mistake. No one should live their life based on dogmas and other people’s expectations. As far as I could remember, even though I was always dating girls, I had always preferred being with a man. I had fought it with every fiber of spirituality in me as a Pentecostal preacher boy (find details and journeys in my book ‘THE EXODUS.’) The more I fought my sexual preference for men, the more I became more miserable. Unfortunately, as erroneously believed, sex wasn’t the problem. I had been having sex with women as far back as a twelve-year-old. Sexuality is whom we are emotionally present with, not whom we are sleeping with. And oh boy, she really tried to make me a heterosexual. But I’m still not, sadly.