RANTINGS OF A RANDOM (Gay) NIGERIAN (Entry 15)

Blog_Rantings Of A Random (GAY) NigerianA friend of mine had a very terrible kito situation recently; it involved some young guy who came over to his apartment for a night-over and left with some valuable stuff in the morning. My friend tracked him down to Uniport to ask for his stuff back (the tablet that was stolen was company property). Anyway, it got really messy and the police was involved and all, and eventually my friend parted with some money (a lot of money actually) to bury the matter. Anyway, after this unfortunate experience, he told me he was “quitting being gay.” I asked him if it was a switch that can be turned off and on, and he said that yes the feelings won’t go away, but he would no longer be involved with men,

“What has this thing fetched me Dennis? All troubles… I had an extra year in school… I eventually graduated with a Third Class… To get a job was war… Kito left, right and centre… Abeg, I am out!” Continue reading

RAMBLINGS OFF A DISSATISFIED HOOK-UP APP USER

others 52I have been celibate ever since my steady lay, Chibuzor, got himself a proper boyfriend. I don’t really think about it, because work keeps me pretty preoccupied and I’ve been working on some personal projects. But the body is not firewood.

Sure, porn and a little hand lotion can relieve the tension, but such behaviour is very addictive and I don’t want to be a slave to bad habits.

But yeah, I bust a nut once in a while. Once in a too often while actually. Lol.

Anyway, Easter was approaching and I’d taken a few extra days off from work to add to the long Easter weekend. I’d decided to take a trip to Calabar to visit the mother and grandmother, and I knew that I couldn’t spend such a long time in Calabar without sampling the local delicacies. (And I’m not talking about food)

I was going to get laid whether the devil likes it or not. Continue reading

LOVE AND SEX IN THE CITY (Episode 25)

Blog_Love And Sex In The City 02RAINBOWMAN SUN 7: 02 AM

THE COMMANDMENTS ACCORDING TO THE GAY SCRIPTURES (Hate-ehros, stay away please)

1: Thou shall practice Safe Sex whenever and wherever you see thouself. Always slip on that CD. But if there’s none available at that moment, then wank! A raw Kporo and Shobo must not make contact to avoid taking ARTs for the rest of your life.

2: Thou shall not let a Shobo/Kporo go to waste. Whenever you’re presented with an opportunity, don’t waste it, but do this while putting the Number 1 rule in practice. This is because a wasted opportunity may not repeat itself again for you.

3: Thou shall not pay any visit to any guy you meet online especially if he’s unemployed, a student, keeps asking you to come over, has a shady appearance, appears too good to be true, is from Badoo, doesn’t know his Role when you asked him at first, tells you it’s his first time… Ask such a fellow to visit you or better still…RUN!

4: Be good at whatever you do. If it is dick-sucking, suck it well. Make him nut. If it’s kissing, kiss well. Don’t bite or kiss with an unclean breath. If you’re Bottom, take that Kporo properly, whyne that waist well and make him gasp your name. If you’re Top, pound that Shobo well, make it memorable. Make him sing hallelujah songs. Keep this particular commandment well, and trust me, he will always come back for more.

5: Market Importation is good and healthy: Stop doing roro in your neighbourhood. It is always better to import your market from afar, but please make sure the market is genuine to avoid Kito in your house.

Keep these rules and thou will be fine and well. Continue reading

SAFE ONLINE DATING

Screen-Shot-2013-11-14-at-10.22.18Nigeria is very homophobic which drives same sex relationships underground. Then came the Internet (I often wonder how men hooked up in the 80s, but that’s matter for another day).

Anyway we depend on the Internet with mobile apps to meet with someone these days. However there is the possibility too that these apps and sites have been infiltrated by gay bashers. Knowing the society we live in, avoidance is key.

These are my tips for secure Internet dating or “market hustling” as some of my friends call it (LOL). Continue reading