What’s On Your Mind?

Blog_What's On Your MindWell, I’m glad you asked.

In a minute, I’ll tell you.

Dennis has his weekly rants, James has his journals, Bobby has his Behind-the-HIV-scenes series, and Pinky’s Loving and Sexing in Lagos City are anxiously looked forward to each week. I have come to realize that I, like most of us on here, witness and create rant-worthy or journal-worthy events on a regular basis. And so, drawing inspiration from these KDian literary works, this is an attempt to share with us all a few of my musings as well . . . you know, to tell you what’s on my mind. And No, I am way lazier than PP, DM, Bobby or James, and so, my musings will likely not be a weekly affair; they will be far less frequent. However, if and whenever they do pop up here, I’d love to hear your thoughts, advice, suggestions, observations, whatever you gat. Bring it on!

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So, yea, that thing on my mind… Continue reading

What Bisi Alimi Has To Say About The United States’ Special Envoy for LGBT Human Rights

Randy-Berry-named-first-ever-LGBT-rights-envoyIn a piece titled ‘Why I Oppose the United States’ Special Envoy for LGBT Human Rights’ which was originally published on the dailybeast.com, Nigerian gay activist Bisi Alimi states his stance on the recent appointment of Randy Berry as Special Envoy for gay rights.

Read below.

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The appointment of Randy Berry as Special Envoy for LGBT Human Rights drew praise from U.S. LGBT activists. Those of us outside the U.S. are less enthusiastic.

In February, the U.S. State Department announced that longtime diplomat Randy Berry would be appointed as the first Special Envoy for the Human Rights of LGBT Persons to help eliminate violence and discrimination against LGBT people worldwide. This appointment has been widely applauded in the United States, but many of us outside the U.S. are concerned that it may be more symbolic than substantive—and that, in fact, the symbol may be a negative one.

To be sure, the Obama administration has been the most pro-LGBT in American history. Most recently, in his 2015 State of the Union speech, Obama became the first president to say the word ‘transgender’ at a high-profile event. He signed an executive order last summer barring government contractors from discriminating against LGBT employees. LGBT health care disparities were addressed under his Affordable Care Act. Continue reading

The Fight For UK Asylum For Lesbian Fleeing Sharia Wrath In Nigeria

2r22f48A judge has adjourned court following an intense hearing of the highly publicized case of Aderonke Apata, a Nigerian lesbian fighting for asylum in the UK.

The 47-year-old gay rights advocate and award-winner came to Britain from Nigeria in 2004, seeking asylum on religious grounds.

Coming from a Christian family, she married a Muslim man in what she says was a sham arrangement to cover up her long-term relationship with a woman.

Apata claims her husband’s family turned against her when they suspected she was gay, and took her to a sharia court, where she was sentenced to death for adultery. Her brother and three-year-old son, she says, were killed by mobs.

She ran away, lived on the streets in Manchester, and now her case has come to the Royal Courts of Justice for a final decision. Will she be given asylum, or will she be sent back to Nigeria where she could face certain death? Continue reading

Much Ado About Denrele Edun

celebs 129I was cruising the Twittersphere yesterday evening, just browsing timelines, favoriting pictures, tweeting stuff, retweeting other stuff and bantering with a few acquaintances.

Then I stumbled on tweets about media personality Denrele Edun and the topic of his sexuality. That shit was all over twitter, his fans defending him against some persons or some reports that apparently questioned him about his sexual orientation. Below are excerpts from one of the reports published on The Punch:

Q: People still argue that you are homosexual?

Denrele: Over time, they have labeled me as a homosexual, heterosexual, bi-sexual, I have been called all sorts of names. When people see that you are successful in the entertainment industry, they try to peddle some negative stories about you. Maybe they call me names because of the way I dress. When I started out and people began calling me such names, I found it very disturbing, annoying, and demeaning but I laugh about it now. When I am asked about my sexuality, I just tell them that I am a sexual outlaw. I don’t think my sexuality should be an issue because I am doing my work very well.

Q: But are you gay? Continue reading

Kito Diaries Gets A Mention In The Washington Post

Bisi AlimiBisi Alimi is an international figure, known largely for one of the most controversial issues in the world – sexual orientation. Throw in the fact that he’s from one of the world’s most homophobic nations, and basically, anything he does or has to say gains coverage, both positive and negative.

And so, when he kissed his boyfriend and posted the picture on Instagram as a celebration of his love, there was tidal wave of both appreciation and hate for him. And I do mean, HATE! Gosh! I was on that Instagram thread, and niggas be fuming all sorts of vitriol at the activist.

Anywho, in a post on The Washington Post, titled ‘After I Kissed My Boyfriend, 10 People Said They Wanted To Kill Me’, Bisi talks about that picture, the homophobia of Nigerians, Kito Diaries (Ok, twas just a linked mention, people) and lots of other issues.

Check on it below.

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At my 40th birthday party last month, my boyfriend and I shared a kiss. Like any couple would, we posted a photo of the moment on Instagram. Continue reading

‘I’d rather live so I can keep fighting.’ – Bisi Alimi

bisi 1In an interview with Blanck Digital magazine, Nigerian gay activist, Bisi Alimi says he can’t come to Nigeria because he’s scared for his life. Bisi who came out as gay on National TV many years back has been living in the UK since 2007. Bisi says Homosexuality can be accepted in Africa as Africans are neither idiots nor senseless.

“Since I left Nigeria in 2007 I have never been back, it’s not a safe place for me. It would be sheer foolishness on my part to go back to Nigeria after the failed attempt on my life or the never ending run-ins I had with the police. It is one thing to be a martyr and another to live to fight another day, and I think I would rather want to live so I can keep fighting.

More excerpts of the interview after the cut. Continue reading

Let’s Discuss…About The Visibility Of What Society Doesn’t Want To See

Blog_Let's DiscussA friend of mine and follower of KD wanted to know, a couple of days ago, what comment made in disparagement of someone’s HIV status that brought on the collective wrath of the blog. I directed him to the contentious post, and when he was done, he returned to our private chat with an opinion about the KDian who shared his HIV story on KD: “Not a good move, if I must say… smh.”

And so the following is a bit of how our chatversation went after this tersely expressed opinion.

ME: Why? Why was it not a good move to share something to inspire people? Because someone will have something bad to say? So, by that standard, Kenny Badmus should not have talked about his coming out as well?

DUDE: Do you not see the resultant effect? Besides, Coming Out and HIV issue are two different things.

ME: Oh really? Educate me. Continue reading

URGENT! Another Reason To Be Careful

A good friend of mine and fellow KDian was kind enough to share the information below that awoke a mix of emotions inside me. Apparently, our police force has decided to channel its investigative skills into apprehending – no, not armed robbers, kidnappers and terrorists, nuh-uh! – GAY PEOPLE. Yes, we’re the criminals who should urgently be gotten off the streets. And day after day, they come up with ingenious new ways to nab members of the Nigerian gay community.

Check out the chats below.Screenshot_2015-01-20-14-03-27

Continue reading

Kenny Badmus Comes Out

Kenny BadmusThis is a mistake a lot of us make. We all want to change people to conform to our preferences. We find it easier to play god in the lives of people we did not make. – Kenny Badmus.

Such is the damage the expectations of society wreaks in the lives of men like brand expert, Kenny Badmus, pushing them to live lives that they did not bargain for.

You must all have already read or heard about Kenny Badmus’ coming out in a post on Facebook.

Read his post below:

When I first told my ex-wife that I was gay, we were far from being married. I wanted her to find other men honorably, who had a thing for women. I never did. I ‘swear down.’ I was only obeying the popular demand of traditions. Now, this was my terrible mistake. No one should live their life based on dogmas and other people’s expectations. As far as I could remember, even though I was always dating girls, I had always preferred being with a man. I had fought it with every fiber of spirituality in me as a Pentecostal preacher boy (find details and journeys in my book ‘THE EXODUS.’) The more I fought my sexual preference for men, the more I became more miserable. Unfortunately, as erroneously believed, sex wasn’t the problem. I had been having sex with women as far back as a twelve-year-old. Sexuality is whom we are emotionally present with, not whom we are sleeping with. And oh boy, she really tried to make me a heterosexual. But I’m still not, sadly. Continue reading