Wife Speaks Up After Finding Husband On Grindr

171371988A mother has asked for help on Mumsnet – after catching her husband using a gay hookup app.

The user of the parenting forum asked for help after finding her husband’s profile – complete with a picture of him posing in his underwear in their en suite bathroom.

“Today I found my DH on Grindr,” she wrote. “Without a doubt it is him. Posing in our en suite bathroom. Confronted him. Says it is not him but refuses to let me see his phone. He is refusing to talk to me. Two children. 7 and 10. I am 43. Don’t know what to do. Please some advice.”

When other mothers were unfamiliar with Grindr, she explained: “It is a gay pick up site… You can see some of his face. God, I even recognise his pants and moles on his chest. He went ashen when I showed him and then defensive and then silence.” Continue reading

RANTINGS OF A RANDOM (Gay) NIGERIAN (Entry 6)

Blog_Rantings Of A Random (GAY) NigerianLast week was Valentine’s week, which I have never been a fan of; for starters, I don’t like the crowd mentality and doing things that I am expected to do, so I try to avoid the Valentine craze. Also I think that Valentine’s Day is way too commercial, and when you combine that with the materialism of Nigerians, you get overkill. This is the time that some of my (female) colleagues display huge bouquets of flowers on their desks so you will know that they are “happening babes” (that’s in case you did not know). We also have a love feast at work and a small party; they do a ballot and you pick a name of someone you will buy a gift for. I generally don’t like my colleagues (Fine! I like one guy), and the guy I picked this year unfortunately is a jackass and the biggest homophobe ever. I hated the fact that I was going to spend my money on him, as I try to keep our interaction to a minimum. I ended up wrapping something I was given at a wedding and gave him. (Re-gifting is the new rage, no?) I aint spending none of my cash on a homophobic bigot.

Someone I just met sent me a gift – something inexpensive, but I thought it was really sweet and surprising, seeing as we had just met and were still trying to be friends. I did not get him anything and I felt pressured by his gift, but it did feel nice to receive something at work, with all the nosy people trying to figure out who it was from. Continue reading

RANTINGS OF A RANDOM (Gay) NIGERIAN (Entry 5)

Blog_Rantings Of A Random (GAY) NigerianBy the grace of God – This is my least favorite (Nigerian) expression right after “Manage it”. My aversion to this phrase has nothing to do with my faith or beliefs; it just irks me because in it is embedded an abdication of responsibility. For example, you take your fabric to a tailor and ask him if it will be ready next week, and he says, “By the grace of God.” My response is always something like: “God’s grace is always available, and God is not the one sewing the cloth Himself. You know how many jobs you currently hold and you know how fast you work. So how about you consider these factors and go ahead to give me a realistic time frame for collection.”

This abdication of responsibility is also seen in our country’s leadership; we pray to God to end insurgency rather than taking a sustained military offensive against the terrorists. As a young Catholic boy (yes, you read right, I even fancied being a priest at some point before ‘worldly pleasures’ distracted me), I remember scoffing at that “prayer against bribery and corruption in Nigeria” (do they still say that prayer in Catholic churches?), because even at that age, I knew that God would not come and end corruption in Nigeria; it is Nigerians themselves who will put an end to it. At some point, you have to take responsibility for your life. Continue reading

Lesbian Lawmaker Threatens To Expose Adulterous Officials Opposed To Marriage Equality

patricia-todd-e1357529102980As an out lesbian, Alabama State Rep. Patricia Todd was probably not the most popular in the state legislature. She’s even less so now. In the wake of a federal court ruling last week striking down the state’s ban on same-sex marriage, Todd has decided to pull out all the stops to defend the ruling. In a posting on her Facebook page, Todd is threatening to tell the names of colleagues who oppose marriage equality while engaging in adultery.

“I will not stand by and allow legislators to talk about ‘family values’ when they have affairs, and I know of many who are and have,” Todd wrote. “I will call our elected officials who want to hide in the closet out.”

Just in case she wasn’t clear, Todd told the TimesDaily that “it is pretty well known that we have people in Montgomery who are or have had affairs.”

At a public event on Monday, Todd told followers that she was aware of the consequences. “Many of you know that I have thrown the gauntlet down to my elected peers that should they decide to go and spout family value that I’m going to call them out,” Todd said. “I’m willing to jeopardize my political campaign to do it. This is the fight of our life. This is why I ran for office.”

Todd’s opponents are used to having their own way. Seems they have met their match at long last.

LETTER TO MY FUTURE WIFE

future-wifeDear future wife, I come from the past to warn you about the terrible mistake you’re about to make – marrying me.

I’m not going to be your knight in a shining armor, or your “help” in fixing up things in the house. I’m not going to love you, at least not in the way you’ll want to be loved. Even if I do, it’ll be a brother-sister love. In your eyes, I’ll be the man of your dreams, but don’t be fooled; I’m going to be your worst nightmare and you, my bane.

We’re never going to have that wild spontaneous sex you read about and watch in Hollywood movies; ours will be more like a zombie mating with a corpse, strictly for reproduction purposes. There’ll be no kissing, no foreplay, no romance. You’ll often get horny and I won’t be there to satisfy you. Our lovemaking will be vapid and frigid like a storm in a cold November. Continue reading

NOW, A THOUGHT FOR KENNY BADMUS’ WIFE

Spanish F1 Grand Prix - RaceWritten by Akin Akintayo, and originally published on akinblog.nl

On the one hand, praise.

A couple of days ago, I celebrated the coming out of Kenny Badmus on both the matter of his sexuality and HIV-status with the hope that his decision will give strength and encouragement to the many who suffer under the societal strictures of conformity and despair.

However, it was impossible for the matter to just end there, because there was one key guiding principle that I had to revisit after a bit of reflection and discussion, the one of people who are hurt by those actions we take when we are faced with other difficult options we refuse to choose.

Now, Kenny Badmus said he learnt this from his father: “Die for your own truth, even if it’s unpopular, but don’t harm others with it.” Indeed, I believe there is a very strong influence of this in his decision to accept who he is, but that lesson has come long after damage has been done.

On the other hand, however… Continue reading

That Piece about how To Know Your Man Is Another Man’s

4232075099286640360noThe write-up was penned by a Daniel Teinye, and published on Linda Ikeji’s blog, titled ‘15 signs your man is another man’s Man’.

If you haven’t already seen it, well, here’s the article to thoroughly delight you. 😀

*

The recent law on homosexuality has turned most Nigerian men Bisexuals. You have to be scared, not because Ikenna is flirting with Judith, in fact clap for Jesus if he is…because Ikenna could be Kingsley’s lover.

Here are the signs your man is another man’s man. Continue reading

The Road To Atheism

religion-atheism_110646The mere mention of the word atheism strikes terror in the hearts of men. A stigma so strong, it holds almost equal weight with homosexuality.

So I just got back from work and was tired as fuck, but I decided to write this piece, one which is greatly influenced by the events that took place today.

It was 10 o’clock in the morning and I didn’t have much doing. Scrolling through my phone, I got a ping from a friend of mine, a very close acquaintance. He wanted to know if I’d be travelling home for Christmas, and my reply was that it was still under probability. He then cracked a joke about my parents bringing up the “marriage talk” when I get home. I gave him a ‘lol’ and he went on to say that it’s my biggest fear. I was quick to clear that up. For the record, my biggest fear is “getting old”, yeah I’m vain. I can’t think of anything like old age damaging my pristine, pretty face. The mere thought of it sends a cold chill down my spine.

So I went on to tell him I’m just annoyed about the marriage issue, not scared. And that’s how the long argument started. Continue reading

SOMETHING THAT GIVES YOU JOY

singles 21It’s been a couple of years since my parents started nagging me over the issue of marriage. I hadn’t even got a job the first time they brought it up. I suppose a bunch of factors contributed to their hastiness, one of them being that I am the first child. And another being that I lost one of my brothers to a violent death some years ago, and on some deep level, his demise serves as a constant reminder to my parents that life is too short. My brother’s death serves as a reminder to me too, that life is too short. And my parents and I interpret this reminder in ways that differ, one from the other.

It makes me want to live my life according to my own dictates.

It makes them want me to get settled fast – a wife and kids in quick succession.

And a couple of years ago, when I was unemployed and they brought up the issue of marriage, despite my aversion to their concerns, I very kindly offered them an excuse – my lack of employment. That seemed to grant me a reprieve from their agitation.

Then I got a job. And they called again. Continue reading

The Reason Uti Nwachukwu won’t Get Married Until He’s Forty

uti-bba1Recently, while having fun with the housemates in the ongoing Big Brother Africa Hotspot game, media personality, Uti Nwachukwu stated that marriage is not for everybody.

The conversation started with Nigerian housemate, Tayo asking when Uti would settle down. Uti’s answer was ‘Forty’, while Tayo said ‘Thirty.’

According to Uti, “you can’t decide when to get married; only God will tell you when it’s time. The divorce rate in Nigeria is pretty scary. Marriage is not by age, you have to be ready. Everybody is marrying and divorcing, it is pretty scary. We are having highest rates of divorce ever. It isn’t compulsory for everyone to be married. Some people were born to be single.

“Marriage is not something one should rush into. Make sure God says it is ready before you plunge.”