That Piece On What The True Story In America Is

Same-sex marriage supporters demonstrate in front of the Supreme Court on March 27, 2013 in Washington, DC. The rights of married same-sex couples will come under scrutiny at the US Supreme Court on Wednesday in the second of two landmark cases being considered by the top judicial panel. After the nine justices mulled arguments on a California law that outlawed gay marriage on Tuesday, they will take up a challenge to the legality of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). The 1996 law prevents couples who have tied the knot in nine states -- where same-sex marriage is legal -- from enjoying the same federal rights as heterosexual couples. AFP PHOTO/Jewel Samad        (Photo credit should read JEWEL SAMAD/AFP/Getty Images)

John Pavlovitz, Christian, pastor and humanist, has come through again in a new write-up titled ‘The True Story Of Today In America.’ Read and be inspired.

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We all have stories we like to tell ourselves; narratives we create to frame the world around us.

Those stories often help cushion the blows and soften the impact when things around us are too frightening, too disorienting, too difficult for our minds to deal with.

These stories are often largely well-crafted fiction, born out of fear and desperation, and the sense of something slipping quickly through fingers: control.

Many scared Christians were telling stories today. Continue reading

US Supreme Court rules in favour of gay marriage nationwide

Gay rights supporters celebrate after the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the U.S. Constitution provides same-sex couples the right to marry, outside the Supreme Court building in Washington, June 26, 2015.   REUTERS/Jim Bourg

Gay rights supporters celebrate after the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the U.S. Constitution provides same-sex couples the right to marry, outside the Supreme Court building in Washington, June 26, 2015. 

The US Supreme Court has ruled that same-sex marriage is a legal right across the United States.

In a landmark 5-4 decision, Justice Anthony Kennedy writing for the majority ruled that marriage is a constitutional right for all.

“No union is more profound than marriage,” he wrote, saying that the hope of gay people intending to marry “is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.” Continue reading

Justin M. Quinn: I Want My Dad To Finally Come Out

singles 54Originally published on advocate.com

My father’s gay. As our nation stumbles steadily towards long-overdue legal equity for same-sex couples and their families, I’m grateful to know that doesn’t necessarily make me a rarity these days. My father’s gay. I’ve known since I was 16, when a confluence of events (his repeated “solo” trips to Key West, his membership at an all-male gym, the discovery of his Playgirl stash) forced my siblings and me to reevaluate our entire family dynamic. My father’s gay. In the 20 years since, I’ve shared those exact same words with my best friends, a few girlfriends, and a therapist who is, I’m quite certain, the closest thing I’ll ever have to an attentive paternal figure. It’s too bad I have to pay him.

I don’t normally lead with this information, but I’m not dishonest about it either. If you’re curious enough to wonder out loud how my parents have stayed married for 40 years, I’d tell you the truth: No, it’s not one of those marriage-takes-many-shapes “understandings” that’s keeping them together. That would at least be a step toward openness and acceptance. My father and mother are still married because he lies about his sexuality and she chooses to believe him. It wasn’t always this clear to me. Continue reading

RANTINGS OF A RANDOM (Gay) NIGERIAN (Entry 18)

Blog_Rantings Of A Random (GAY) NigerianAdvertising should not contain any content that promotes homosexuality and other sexual perversions…

Now I am working on a professional certification in Management and I was struggling with it, seeing as my background is in sciences. After forming badoo for a few weeks and finally realizing/accepting that I needed help, I signed up for a tutorial class from an accredited centre. So we were having a class on Saturday (which is sad because I absolutely cherish my weekends), and we were learning something about legal frame work in public relations when the tutor read out that phrase:

Advertising should not contain any content that promotes homosexuality and other sexual perversions…

I looked around my classroom in one of the very small halls of the hotel we were using, and my classmates were quiet and scribbling. My inner subconscious begged me not to say anything, but before I could stop myself, my hand was up. After all, I was paying a lot of money for these classes and, by God, my voice must be heard. Continue reading

WHAT WE ARE GETTING WRONG IN THE “MGM” CONVERSATION

man-wedding-ring-475Definition:

MGM (Married Gay Man) /em ’dƷi: em/ (derogatory) A closeted homosexual in a heterosexual marriage. Usually applied to males, but can also describe a lesbian or bisexual whose spouse is unaware of their true sexuality.

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Whenever the “MGM” issue comes up on the blog, it’s always a cockfight between the Married/Soon-to-be-married guys and the self-proclaimed Never-to-be-married ones. At this rate, we will not make progress in this important conversation.

So here goes: 6 things we are doing wrong in the “MGM” conversation. Continue reading

LOVE AND SEX IN THE CITY (Episode 37)

Blog_Love And Sex In The City 02FOREWORD: This episode of Love And Sex In The City takes on an issue that has been over-flogged on Kito Diaries. My intention to tackle the issue amongst Declan and his friends isn’t to spark another debate, but to show up another facet on the individual personalities of these eight young men.

On that note, I would like to apologize profusely for the delay in the continuation of the series. The muses of creativity broke up with me for awhile, but thankfully, we have reconciled and intend to live happily ever after from now henceforth. 😀 Read and enjoy.

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“Mmm…Yum!” Yinka murmured, allowing himself a soft moan after he spooned a small mound of ice cream into his mouth. His jaw moved rhythmically as he savoured the taste, his eyes closed to shut out all other visual stimuli. “Mmm-mmm-mmm,” he said. “This ice cream is just hitting all the right spots, I’m telling you.”

There were some chuckles from our table as Paschal said, “When ice cream starts giving you this kind of pleasure, that’s when you know it’s time to get a fuck, like really fast.” Continue reading

PSYCHOSIS: A Story About A Man Who Defies Society

singles 49I stumbled on this piece penned by Kingsley Okechukwu and originally published on kingkingsley.wordpress.com, and I felt compelled to share it here. The protagonist talked about in the story is the writer’s uncle, and the writer details how, for years, his uncle had defied the societal standard of marriage. I decided to share the story here, not because this uncle was portrayed as a gay man (he wasn’t) but because I wanted to let us know how powerful society can be when it strives to maintain its norms, and how any means is employable by it to ensure this.

Check on it below.

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Uncle Chukwuka is the most famous character in our entire family circle. His popularity is stretched by his refusal to adhere to the normal fabric of life, and coloured by some of the weirdest attitudes that have shocked, amused and infuriated his kinsfolk. I have been trying to write a story about Uncle Chukwuka for six years now. Each time I picked up my pen, the words came out in small, turgid mounds so that after few paragraphs, I would conclude that I have been writing nonsense, that these strange words weren’t describing my uncle; these words were in fact dishonouring him. Then I would tear off the paper from my workbook, squeeze it into a ball and hurl it out of the window. And forget about my uncle for a month. Continue reading

RANTINGS OF A RANDOM (Gay) NIGERIAN (Entry 17)

Blog_Rantings Of A Random (GAY) NigerianDennis, why aren’t we dating?

I nearly choked on the pizza I was eating when she asked that question, all the while, staring me right into the eyes.

I was in Abuja for (yet) another wedding, and after the wedding, I decided to meet up with Jane, who is one of my oldest friends. She is one of the two women that I have a very strong friendship with, spanning several years. We have supported each other through so many things. Now the other girl knows about my sexuality and is totally cool with it, but I haven’t told Jane because I don’t think she can handle that information. In spite of her foreign education, Jane is very religious and constantly on an opium daze that clouds her perspective on a lot of issues. The other girl sef also told me not to tell her, at least not just yet.

So there we were, eating pizza and drinking coke, and she is asking me one of the questions of the century.

Jane:     I asked why we are not dating. My mom asked me that question the other day, if you and I are lovers, and I laughed her off. But then I took time to think about it and started wondering why I laughed it off.

I nearly blurted out that ‘Honey, we can’t date because I like men’, but I slapped my subconscious shut; one of those few moments when my head can overpower my tongue. Continue reading

What The Married Gay Indian Had To Say About His Marriage And Sexuality

tumblr_l9h83lvd201qb2w12o1_1280An unnamed 37-year-old Indian man writes speaks out in an essay titled “My Wife Is Friends With My Boyfriend: A Gay Man On His ‘Situation’”, and published by the Hindustan Times. He shares an honest account of what it is like to be in his situation. Read below.

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I hail from a small district in Rajasthan. I am not sure when I realised I was gay, but I was only four or five when I fell in love with a boy from my area. We would play a game, in which I would be the husband, and he would be my wife. I would wait outside his house for hours to see him. I wanted to kiss him, and be kissed by him. We would sing songs for each other. This went on till I was 10. That’s when he got married.

Back then, child marriage was common in my family, as well as in the area we lived in. Soon, my friends also started getting married. Since my lover had already been married off, I, too, got married to a girl when I was 11. At that time, I did not know that there are other people like me. I did not understand the implications and responsibilities that come with marriage.  Continue reading

RANTINGS OF A RANDOM (Gay) NIGERIAN (Entry 13)

Blog_Rantings Of A Random (GAY) NigerianMy friend’s wife called me last week and said she wanted to talk with me, and for that, she needed my Blackberry pin. I immediately sensed something was wrong; her husband is my good friend and an MGM, and I am very close to the couple and their daughters. She eventually came on BBM and literally opened the book of lamentations on me. As it turns out, my friend has been a mean, insensitive and crappy husband, who no longer had time for her. She unburdened a lot to me, most of which broke my heart to read. I could see how bitter and hurt she was. Now she lives in Abuja with the girls, while her husband stays here in Port Harcourt, and they have been married for about two years, with her working to transfer her service to Port Harcourt (she works at some federal parastatal). However that day, she said she wasn’t sure anymore about moving to PHC, that she was beginning to fear that her husband would become abusive if they lived permanently under the same roof.

I became really concerned at this point and, quite frankly, very angry too. Continue reading