LOVE AND SEX IN THE CITY (Episode 37)

Blog_Love And Sex In The City 02FOREWORD: This episode of Love And Sex In The City takes on an issue that has been over-flogged on Kito Diaries. My intention to tackle the issue amongst Declan and his friends isn’t to spark another debate, but to show up another facet on the individual personalities of these eight young men.

On that note, I would like to apologize profusely for the delay in the continuation of the series. The muses of creativity broke up with me for awhile, but thankfully, we have reconciled and intend to live happily ever after from now henceforth. 😀 Read and enjoy.

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“Mmm…Yum!” Yinka murmured, allowing himself a soft moan after he spooned a small mound of ice cream into his mouth. His jaw moved rhythmically as he savoured the taste, his eyes closed to shut out all other visual stimuli. “Mmm-mmm-mmm,” he said. “This ice cream is just hitting all the right spots, I’m telling you.”

There were some chuckles from our table as Paschal said, “When ice cream starts giving you this kind of pleasure, that’s when you know it’s time to get a fuck, like really fast.” Continue reading

Photo Of HIV+ Man With His HIV- Family Goes Viral, Combats Stigma

enhanced-29390-1431713275-1Andrew Pulsipher of Phoenix was born HIV-positive 33 years ago — his parents both had the virus and died of AIDS related illness when Andrew was a child.

And while many would write off his dreams of starting a family, Andrew knew he was still capable of living the life he wanted, on his terms. Above is the photo he shared recently that quickly went viral, in which he poses with his HIV-negative family. Continue reading

BEING BRUNO

Blog_Being BrunoFOREWORD: Dennis Macaulay has decided to take a little break off writing his weekly rants because of some study engagements. It’ll just be a few weeks. Until he returns, here’s a new series to occupy Wednesday’s foremost update.

WRITER’S NOTE: This story isn’t about what you’re going to learn at the end of this chapter. Secondly, I felt prompted to debut my writing on KD because of Bobby; after reading the ‘Before I Die’ series, I decided it was time. This story is fiction. All the characters and the plot are the works of my imagination, and any resemblance with real occurrences is purely coincidental.

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It began with – “It might be HIV o!”

That was what Robert said to you.

And just like that, your life changed. Continue reading

That Piece About Gay Sex And Sexual Identity

g-stay5Originally published on blackgaymensblog.com, with the title ‘Sexuality and Identity: Does Gay Sex Make One Homosexual?’

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Personally, I do not believe that engaging in gay sex once makes a man (or woman) gay. I don’t believe sexuality is that clear cut – it all depends on the circumstances surrounding the sexual encounter. I am not suggesting homosexuality is a choice, but I think engaging in homosexual acts can be.

Let me make one thing clear, I am not talking about repetitive, on-going sexual encounters or referring to those men who might be in denial. I think that any man who has gay sex for a prolonged period of time, or has numerous male sexual partners is at the very least bisexual. Especially, if he does so when he has free access to women and the life of a loved one is not threatened. I think some gay men are too quick to want to label anyone who has had homosexual sex as gay or no longer straight. Sexuality is simply not that black and white – not all sexual encounters define one’s sexuality. The label “gay” is a western concept, and there are societies in which that label doesn’t exist and others where the gender of one’s sexual partners is not as big a deal as it might be here in the USA. In those societies, “gay” is not a political statement, and so I’m trying to look at things more broadly. We don’t have to agree, but we can respect and maybe learn from one another.

That being said, I have a few questions, which might challenge the notion that once a man has had homosexual sex, he is no longer straight: Continue reading

Carl’s Existentialism III

Blog_Carl’s ExistentialismAccording to http://www.allaboutphilosophy.org, “existentialism is a philosophy concerned with finding self and the meaning of life through free will, choice, and personal responsibility.” I understand it as a journey; a way to find oneself in any way that is comfortable, yet possible and realistic. For existentialism, “the belief is that people are searching to find out whom and what they are throughout life, as they make choices based on their experiences, beliefs, and outlook.”

Through Kito Diaries, I try to confront my hard truths by baring it all, even though behind a pseudonym, making sure that I am as honest as possible, and hopefully have an effect on at least one person. Someone said last week that ‘Carl’s Existentialism’ doesn’t seem to match with the weekly content. At first glance, I was a little down by the remark, but then after some self-scolding, I realized that I can’t help what people think. I can’t guide people to look beyond the surface and deeper at meanings that may or may not be hidden. It deeply pains me that whoever that person is could willingly type those hurtful words and call them criticism, let alone constructive criticism.

Anyway, I am not looking for a bone to pick. I consider the title an art, because I entirely came up with it. ANYONE who writes on this blog is an artist in himself or herself. The fact that people can take a time out of their day to construct ideas, characters, be they fiction, nonfiction or poetry, is a feat not easily accomplished. So if you don’t understand something, it’s okay to put in your little two cents, but endeavour not to put down the work read. #SpreadLove

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I never understood why people used to call me girly. Up until JSS1, I always thought of myself as free spirited boy. Continue reading

RANTINGS OF A RANDOM (Gay) NIGERIAN (Entry 17)

Blog_Rantings Of A Random (GAY) NigerianDennis, why aren’t we dating?

I nearly choked on the pizza I was eating when she asked that question, all the while, staring me right into the eyes.

I was in Abuja for (yet) another wedding, and after the wedding, I decided to meet up with Jane, who is one of my oldest friends. She is one of the two women that I have a very strong friendship with, spanning several years. We have supported each other through so many things. Now the other girl knows about my sexuality and is totally cool with it, but I haven’t told Jane because I don’t think she can handle that information. In spite of her foreign education, Jane is very religious and constantly on an opium daze that clouds her perspective on a lot of issues. The other girl sef also told me not to tell her, at least not just yet.

So there we were, eating pizza and drinking coke, and she is asking me one of the questions of the century.

Jane:     I asked why we are not dating. My mom asked me that question the other day, if you and I are lovers, and I laughed her off. But then I took time to think about it and started wondering why I laughed it off.

I nearly blurted out that ‘Honey, we can’t date because I like men’, but I slapped my subconscious shut; one of those few moments when my head can overpower my tongue. Continue reading

You Can’t Save Them All

scared-black-manYou can’t save them all. It’s not for a lack of trying, because you actually do try. You try to be a good friend. You try to always be there, to let them know that it’s going to be alright.

But in the end, you can’t save them all.

The world is filled with many broken hearts, filled with many people going through unbearable emotional pain. And you try to fix them. You’ve gone through heartbreak, you’ve had your share of emotion-crushing depression and you always believe you can relate. You have that belief that if you could just reach out to them all, you’ll be making a difference in their lives.

But you can’t save them all. Continue reading

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 36)

Blog_James' JournalMay 1

So, this Bruce Jenner transformation ish has helped me to delve into the minds of the people I call homophobes, and that of my family, as I find myself staring in the face of rejection.

When I found out some of her kids kept silent on the issue or showed some displeasure, I realised I’d find it a hard pill to swallow if my mum or dad or brothers decided to become Trans. I asked myself why? Why should I find it hard to accept them when I wish they’d find it easier to accept me? I sort of realised my family members changing would also change a whole lot of “truths” I’d held in my mind as to what my family is.

And there was the answer – Change. It’s constant but it can be a hard thing to accept. I however would like to reason that my love for them, my being in their shoes sort of would help me overcome that fear of change and help in accepting them.

I still don’t understand Transgenders and their struggle, but some things are similar, so instead of letting the differences divide us, let’s let the similarities in our struggles unite us. Continue reading

Carl’s Existentialism I

Blog_Carl’s ExistentialismAre Secrets and Dreams compatible?

There is a new TV show called Secrets and Lies. It is basically about how a man finds a dead boy in the woods, and later becomes the prime suspect in the murder case. It’s a good show, and I’m recommending it. Why did I bring it up? Well, as the protagonist, Ben’s life is turned upside down by the detective in charge of the case – whose character I absolutely love – his secrets and everyone’s secrets around start to unravel. This begins the end of his marriage, good friendships, and for some time, his sanity, as sometimes, he can’t determine if he killed the boy or not.

Everyone has secrets. If you don’t, then I don’t suppose you have lived one second on planet earth. I have secrets too. A handful of them. The biggest one being that I’m gay, which I suppose you all know, since I am contributing to this blog and talking about hot boys. Continue reading