JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 2)

Blog_KD JournalApril 12

Duke’s travel is an almost done deal. He has dropped off his passport with the person helping him out. I feel sad about it. Not because he is going, but because of what might have been if he wasn’t going. Thankfully, I prepared my mind for this so it would not hurt too much. After I see him next week, I will tell him I am not interested in holding on to him. I’ll delete him off my BBM too. I don’t want to see pictures that will make me feel nostalgic.

Tay reckons I’m just scared of being alone. I have been with different people for the past five years of my life, and he thinks I don’t want to know what it’s like to be alone. He is a little right. But I am not one to shy away from my fears too much. If being alone is what I will be soon, then so be it. But as long as there are people I want who want me back, why should I be alone? Continue reading

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 1)

Here’s another series from yet another Kito-Diaries-sian, James. It’s not fiction. It’s a Dear Diary sort of write-up, one that will afford us glimpses into the life of a brother. Here’s the debut episode. Read and enjoy.

*

Blog_KD JournalApril 9

Love. . .

That word gives me different reactions. Sometimes it’s a “blergh!” Other times, it’s a “sigh”.

I have been in love. It hurt. But it also felt good. I couldn’t differentiate the two feelings. I felt them both intensely. And I didn’t bother to separate them either, because human love is an imperfect thing. You just enjoy and suffer whatever it gives you.

Maybe saying I was in love is a bit wrong. I still love, but it’s buried now. It had to be. For my good, for my sanity. I try not to think about then, when I felt everything would be alright as long as I had my love. Him. John. Sure, I got hurt so many times but I always got over it. I would rant and cry and be depressed but I would still look up ahead because I felt I could pull through anything as long as the other person was with me. Too bad they didn’t think the same. Continue reading