MY FEARS

my fearsFOREWORD: When I read this, my first emotion was surprise. Considering the person who sent it for publication, I could not believe the depth of vulnerability he showed himself capable of revealing, the way he did with this piece. In the heels of my surprise came admiration at how frank he was with the write-up.

So, here, check on it below. And let us know if you’ve got fears of your own.

*

When you meet me, you meet someone who has everything going for himself. Someone who gained admission into the university at a very young age; I’m not the first child, but I was the first to gain admission and to graduate amongst my siblings. I was even the youngest in my department; not that I was that young, but I attended a Federal University where you see papas and mamas in the same class with pikin. I came out tops in my class and have an award to show for it. I work in a very nice establishment, which I don’t see myself leaving anytime soon, even though the pay is not as much as I desire. I am the shining light in my family, the one that everyone comes to for advice. Once I am at home, the house is filled with laughter, because I have a sense of humor that is infectious. I am the friend you can run to when you have problems and you are sure of getting solutions. I am ever smiling. I am the first to get to work, and most times, the last to leave. I help my people when I’m needed and have secured the admiration of many around me. To the world, I am a perfect guy who has everything going on for him. Continue reading

No Strings With Mike Daemon (Episode 7)

DealingWithTheHate(Poster)I have observed that people sometimes ponder on the erroneous idea that one’s sexual orientation can be changed. Even some homosexuals are guilty, especially when still in the discovery phase. This phase is usually scary and unacceptable to most people who do not know how to handle the overwhelming feelings of been attracted to the same-sex. This could be confusing and can bring about a sense of insecurity. The fear of ‘What will people say’, ‘Am I normal’, ‘How do I discuss this with other people’ continues to linger. The individual finally reaches a stage of withdrawal and isolation, keeping entirely to themselves.

The fear increases especially when one starts to hear negative things and witness the manner at which homosexuals are treated by the society at large, adverse treatments that are meted out even by family and friends. The tension increases when someone gives a passing scathing remark concerning how your walk, talk, gestures, especially when one is effeminate.

Due to this, I’m sure a whole lot of us constantly wish we could change our sexual orientation (if it was possible). But truth is, WE ARE WHO WE ARE, and there’s nothing any pastor, therapist, priest, priestess, bishop, pope, exorcist, babalawo, prayer warrior can do about it.

However, the one thing that can be done is to deal with the hand we are dealt. Handle the hate constantly spewed at you appropriately. And how do you do that?

Well, CLICK HERE to have a listen.

LOVE AND SEX IN THE CITY (Episode 35)

Blog_Love And Sex In The City 02I woke up in a cocoon of contentment and warmth that was made especially more delicious by the chill that snaked its way around the room from the Sunday morning rain falling outside. My eyes glided lazily to the body a few centimetres away from me on the bed, and I felt a catch in my breath when my gaze fell on Bryson. He wasn’t one for cuddles, and so, lay on his back, one arm flung out, and the other placed on a chest that rose and fell with the steady rhythm of his slumberous breathing. His face was slightly tilted in my direction, and his sooty lashes lay like shadows above the fullness of his lips, which begged to be kissed.

Staring at him, I began to feel a stirring in my groin. It surprised me that after spending half the night making love to him, the mere sight of him sleeping could still arouse me.

Following the sensation of desire was a suffusion of warmth in my chest. And as I looked at him, I realized with a sinking feeling that I was beginning to fall in love with Bryson. Continue reading

That Article About Gay Men And What They’re Still Learning To Love About Their Bodies

groupOriginally published on nightcharm.com

After centuries of religious oppression and decades of sexual shaming and second-class citizenship, gay men are finally achieving legal and social equality with the ability to confidently come out. But we still have a lot to work on when it comes to self-acceptance, especially within our own community and for our bodies. Here are ten things we often get hung up on:

  1. WE DON’T LOOK LIKE THE MEN IN GAY MAGAZINES

We don’t have that six-pack, shiny smooth skin or the chiseled muscles guys in the underwear ads do. But then again, if you caught those same guys on a random Tuesday night, you’d discover that neither do they.

It takes a very precise exercise program, special short-term diet planning and intentional dehydration to look “model-hot” on the specific day and hour of a photo shoot — those models don’t look that way on most days of the year.

Plus, professional photographers are making big bucks for knowing how to take the most flattering photos, and then everything goes through Photoshop.

Wouldn’t you rather show a little life and grit in the way you look every day? Continue reading

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 28)

Blog_KD JournalJanuary 31

Okay… I didn’t want to put anything up this Sunday, because I didn’t have much to write. Actually I had something to write, but I wondered if it would be a bad thing if I put it up. But then I thought, what the heck… All these people know I have a boring journal about my life on a really popular gay blog, but decide to still say and do the things they say and do.

So… This isn’t to spite anyone. This is just me doing what I do, recording my life for those interested in it to read.

It was a fateful morning, not sure what day it was… I was asleep and dreaming about my cat, Chuks, when I was awakened by a knock. I was naked on my bed, so I asked who it was. There was a faint reply. I thought it must be some neighbour chick of mine who I was crushing mildly on, and so I wrapped my bedsheets around my waist and opened the door.

On my threshold was my ex, Duke.

Wonderful. Continue reading

Actor Kevin Hart Says He’s Too Insecure To Ever Play A Gay Character

ratchetnewsnetwork_wpid-kevin-hart-waiting“I can’t [play a gay character] because I don’t think I’m really going to dive into that role 100 percent, because of the insecurities about myself trying to play that part. What I think people are going to think while I’m trying to do this is going to stop me from playing that part the way I’m supposed to.”

— Comic actor Kevin Hart who also noted that he “appreciates and respects” the gay community while chatting with the hosts of the Breakfast Club on Power 105.1

F – A – T

original“You are fat!”

Those are about the most horrible words you can use on a gay guy. It doesn’t matter how thick your skin is, those words cut through your skin like hot knife through butter. In today’s world, being called fat simply means you are undesirable, not good enough or simply Urgh! I should know. I have been called fat several times. And each time doesn’t hurt less than the last.

If you think that in a world where we are all fighting for acceptance and tolerance, that our species will be a little kinder with one another, you would be wrong. The gay standards for desirability are set at far ridiculous levels. Little wonder most gays keep claiming loneliness and are perpetually in the market for the next hottest thing. To be more candid, it’s almost like we are in love with body parts not people. Continue reading

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly about Having an Unusually Small Penis

Middle Age Man in Pain Protecting HimselfOriginally published on queerty.com

According to the all-knowing Wikipedia, a micropenis is an “unusually small penis” with an “erect penile length … smaller than about 7 cm.” It is a condition that affects about 0.6 percent of males and that is rarely ever talked about. Until now.

One brave man has opened about his life with a micropenis to New York Magazine during an in-depth interview, discussing everything from scarring sexual experiences, to experimenting with men, to the types of condoms he uses. The 51-year-old English teacher from the U.K. bared all — the good, the bad, and the ugly — about what it’s like having an infant-sized penis.

Here are a few highlights from the interview…

On when his penis stopped growing:

I was 14. Quite honestly, my entire life has been shaped and damaged by my penis size. I’m still not really over it, even though I’m way into middle age. I’ve had relationships, but they’ve never been terribly good, particularly not from my partner’s point of view. I always feel like I can’t do what I should be able to do as well as most people. That’s what I worry about. And doctors have never been any help. Continue reading

LIFE AS HE KNOWS (Chapter 7)

Blog_Life As He Knows It“So, how was it?” Tunde heard Kola say as his colleague grabbed a chair to sit beside him in the office. The air conditioner had a fault and the fans were not doing much to help with the heat. Tunde had his tie loosened and a button of his shirt undone.

“How was what?” he asked, not removing his eyes from his laptop.

“Your date,” Kola whispered.

Tunde wished Kola would keep all this kind of talk for outside the office. But then again he hardly talked to the guy outside the office.

“My date? With who?” He feigned ignorance.

“You know who,” Kola said impatiently.

“Guy abegi, it wasn’t a date,” Tunde said dismissively. “It was just two people hanging out.”

“Isn’t that what a date is? Now tell me how it was. Did you like it? I told you he’s a real keeper.” Continue reading