I MET HIM ON CHRISTMAS DAY

g10I met him on Christmas day. One of those cold Harmattan days that has a certain sting and pleasantness about it. The kind of day that makes you believe that everything can be right with the world. The kind of weather that Femi Kuti sang about in his song, and one that also makes you wish you were doing what he sang about in the song, though not exactly in the way he prescribed.

It was another Christmas spent in the city. The city almost always becomes a ghost town during this period. It happens almost dramatically; first, there is a lot of frenetic and frantic activity, and then you go to sleep and wake up, and it’s like, “Where did everybody go?” You could do a drag race on the streets if you wanted to. The point of all this is that spending Christmas in the city is a boring affair. And in the days before social media became more widespread, it could be a real struggle just trying to get through the day without screaming out in frustration.

Christmas had become routine for me, the meal with all the trimmings, the cake, drinks, time with family… Yeah, so what else is new? I wanted more. Femi Kuti sort of knew what. Excitement! So I got up and left the house just to walk around in the street. Anything but spending another minute feeling like I was being consumed by a deep, dark void hovering above my head.

So there I was, walking on the road, and all of a sudden this guy on a motorcycle stopped by me and said, “Hi, how are you?” Continue reading

Dear KD: I Have A Condition Over Status And Family

blackmentalkingFOREWORD: This is a follow-up on the idea of support proposed by Sensei. The idea is taking off. The official email address is kds.system14@gmail.com.

And this is a call for anyone who would like to volunteer as part of this virtual support system. The support system is comprised of three categories: members of the gaybourhood who are struggling with their HIV positive status, those recovering from Kito attacks, and those suffering from bouts of depression.

If you intend to volunteer as a counselor, simply send a mail to the address above, indicating your interest and which category you want to play a part in.

And if you are a brother (or sister) suffering through any of these three phases, kindly send a mail to the address above, and we’ll do our best to get you the help you deserve.

The KD Support System is all set, guys, let’s make it count.

And now, on to today’s post Continue reading

THE IDEA ABOUT SUPPORT

companion 1I have thoroughly enjoyed Kito Diaries from the very day it popped into existence in the blogosphere. I bless the gods, whoever they are and where ever they are, for allowing their muse to endow Pink Panther with an amazing creativity. And to all the brothers, thank you all for making the Kito Diaries idea worthwhile.

Since the inception of this blog, we have heard so much and learned so much about the struggles and the pains of a homosexual person living in Nigeria. Sometimes I feel helpless in the face of so much suffering. I have tried once or twice to reach out to persons who I felt needed friendship or support, but I realize that it simply will not do. I think if we are really serious about helping each other, we need to do something more formal that will actually help those among us who suffer the most.

There are many among us who are HIV positive and who do not have any one to talk to. Some are depressed and suicidal and don’t have someone to lean on an hour of crisis. It is for this reason I suggest that we form support groups here on Kito Diaries.

For now, I have two in mind. One would be for people who are HIV positive and another for people who are on the brink of suicide.

AT THIS POINT, I WOULD LIKE TO BE VERY CLEAR ON SOME ISSUES READERS ARE LIKELY TO WONDER ABOUT. Continue reading

The Wish I Got For Christmas

singles 19So on the Third of November 2014, I finally tested positive.

I say ‘finally’ because since the first time I was tested as an HIV awareness advocate in my service year two years ago, I had always wondered and had been morbidly fascinated by what it’d be like having the virus. I had also always wanted to make friends with the HIV+ guys. Alas, they always ignored me. As I’ve always said; the point to empathy is being in the shoes actually. I have gotten my wish. The only regret I have about this situation is some ignoramus somewhere being quick to judge upon hearing I’m gay. Hell, some on here will be fast in calling me a “bloody arse whore”. Oh well…

As my doctor friend broke the news to me, my mind ran through all the partners I’ve had. Past and present. My last partner, who I stupidly trusted, evidently wasn’t trustworthy. I have asked him to go get tested as well, and I sincerely hope he turns out negative. I’ll know then that I have the barber to blame for this. I probably will be more confident in telling people I’m positive and quick to shut their yapping traps if they dare blame the shii on my being gay. However, if na positive…*bites forefinger* Continue reading

Ten Things HIV-Positive Guys Want Negative Guys To Know

PicturesOriginally published on queerty.com

When Donald Sterling dissed Magic Johnson for being promiscuous and unworthy, it was nothing new for people living with HIV. They’ve heard it all over the years. A lot of those misconceptions persist today, even (or maybe especially) among gay men. Our attitudes can be hurtful, stigmatizing, and even contradictory.

Let’s give HIV-positive gay men the chance to set the record straight, and break down ten things they would like the rest of us to know, based on research by Queerty writer Mark S. King. This list may not represent the views of every positive guy, but they definitely echo many of their most common frustrations.

1. All positive guys are not barebacking drug addicts

It’s probably human nature to try and find fault in the actions of those becoming infected. If we see them as extremists, it helps the rest of us feel more secure in our own choices.

And yet the truth is that the majority of new infections occur within “primary relationships,” such as a lover or boyfriend, and usually because one partner did not know he was infected and then transmitted HIV to his partner. That’s why there’s such intense focus on getting tested and doing it regularly. New infections are typically not the result of some insane night at a meth-fueled sex party or a boozy night at the baths. It happens, sure, but that doesn’t make good ‘ol fashioned sex any safer. Leather or lace, it’s all the same to HIV. Continue reading