BEFORE I DIE: FINAL EPISODE (Run Away)

????????????????????????????????????????????????????I am thoughtless. I am just blank. I’m not angry. I’m not happy. I’m not depressed. I don’t know what I am feeling. I don’t even know what I feel towards Mum, but I know it isn’t a good feeling. It is that kind of feeling you don’t clearly understand, but somehow causes you to end up making bad choices, as long as they help you feel better.

How could she? I thought they understood me? Should I blame it on ignorance? Maybe she really doesn’t know what she is doing? Maybe it’s my fault in the first place? If I hadn’t gone and bagged me some HIV, this wouldn’t have happened.

I simply turn around, away from her, and return to my room to lie down. Whatever I am feeling however didn’t let me be. I’m not at rest, but I can’t place my hand on anything to be the reason. Nothing seems to matter. I plug in my ear phones and start listening to music. I don’t know if that helps, because I am still feeling those things. Continue reading

‘I died several times, but I didn’t die.’ Brand Expert, Kenny Badmus, shares his story of living with HIV in the last 15 years

250040_10151296103085809_1058394003_nTo mark World AIDS Day which was yesterday, December 1st, Nigerian brand expert and founder of Orange Academy, Kenny Badmus, took to his Facebook page to share his inspiring story of living successfully with HIV for the last 15 years.

Read his story below…

‘Today, Monday December 1st, is World AIDS day, and I’m celebrating my resolve to live with this damn virus all these many years without letting it define who I am. Every journey I take, every picture of me you see, and every new challenge I take on are all huge reminders that I must never stop living my best life. So, I decided to share my journey with you today. Honestly, I don’t know what exactly you are dealing with but I’m writing you this to hold tight to your dream. Here’s a quick sketch of my journey from the first day I tested positive, 15 years ago. My upcoming book tells the full story. Continue reading

LIVE YOUR LIFE

zget2zero-aids1FOREWORD: Today is World AIDS Day – a day to celebrate the promise of the day when the world will be completely free of new HIV infections, discrimination against HIV patients and AIDS related deaths. That day hasn’t come yet, but as a humanity that thrives on hope, we hold on to the promise and create the awareness of its purpose.

To mark this year’s World AIDS Day, I want to share a verse I wrote a while ago, which seemed suitable for the commemoration. Read, share your thoughts and educate someone you know.

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Life is a psychopath, a bully and rarely fair

It’s going to push you over, kick you while you’re down

And hit you when you try to get back up

But your victory comes when you’re not beaten

Listen to your heart, follow your dreams

And let no one tell you what you’re capable of

Push the limits, bend the rules

And enjoy every minute of it Continue reading

Ten Things HIV-Positive Guys Want Negative Guys To Know

PicturesOriginally published on queerty.com

When Donald Sterling dissed Magic Johnson for being promiscuous and unworthy, it was nothing new for people living with HIV. They’ve heard it all over the years. A lot of those misconceptions persist today, even (or maybe especially) among gay men. Our attitudes can be hurtful, stigmatizing, and even contradictory.

Let’s give HIV-positive gay men the chance to set the record straight, and break down ten things they would like the rest of us to know, based on research by Queerty writer Mark S. King. This list may not represent the views of every positive guy, but they definitely echo many of their most common frustrations.

1. All positive guys are not barebacking drug addicts

It’s probably human nature to try and find fault in the actions of those becoming infected. If we see them as extremists, it helps the rest of us feel more secure in our own choices.

And yet the truth is that the majority of new infections occur within “primary relationships,” such as a lover or boyfriend, and usually because one partner did not know he was infected and then transmitted HIV to his partner. That’s why there’s such intense focus on getting tested and doing it regularly. New infections are typically not the result of some insane night at a meth-fueled sex party or a boozy night at the baths. It happens, sure, but that doesn’t make good ‘ol fashioned sex any safer. Leather or lace, it’s all the same to HIV. Continue reading