FIRE AND ICE

fire and iceIt began as a whisper, a promise

The calmest of voices whispered my dreams into my ears

And like a child on Christmas eve, I hearkened to it

I believed you

You began to linger slowly through the decay of time

Like a vine snake in a meadow, you slithered

Each day bringing you closer to your sinister plan

And with each passing day, the change became apparent

Frailness overtook me, threatening to shatter the very core of my existence

Like a virus, you spread through me faster than wild fire

You infected me with your poison

I was helpless Continue reading

LAST WORDS

heartbreakHere I am, writing down my emotions, because I’d rather do that than speak a word about what I’m feeling. Recently I don’t even know what I feel.

I dated a man. He was strong, handsome, unique, interesting. He also had a baby mama, who he says is alright with his bisexuality. I guess she was, until I came into the picture.

He introduced me to her when he and I first started dating. She smiled at me and said hi. She shook my hand, and then we danced together. It was a party, and her friends were there too. They kept staring at me and talking amongst themselves. I wasn’t comfortable with that, being the new boyfriend suffering the distant dissection of my beau’s ex female love interest. But it was a party. So I kept on drinking and dancing.

And then, as I got comfortable in my relationship, she got less comfortable with me being around. There was drama. There was hate. And there were children involved. It broke my heart that she was using their children as a weapon to drive a wedge in between me and my beau. The entire brewing mess affected me in ways I thought wasn’t possible. I wanted the best for my man as much as I wanted him with me, but then I loved the way his eyes shone when he talked about his kids. Before the drama. Before the mess. Continue reading

THESE BRUISES

singles 23One

I wish I could nail these hands to the edges of stars

I would sacrifice this body to the sky

Hoping to resurrect as someone spiteful enough to not care about you anymore

Two

Staple me to a cross.

Pierce my side with a broken promise

And I will bleed all the crippled reasons why you deserve one more chance.

Three

Loving you was the last thing I felt really good at. Continue reading

LOVE AND SEX IN THE CITY (Episode 36)

Blog_Love And Sex In The City 02“You know you overreacted, right?” Dotun said.

“In hindsight, yes, I know that,” I replied, standing by the lone window in his office and looking out into the street. It was 4:30pm on Monday, and the afternoon light was slanting westward, casting the beginnings of the evening shadows in corners of the room.

“And when did you come into this hindsight?” He was teasing, and the remark drew a rueful smile from me. I’d just finished narrating the story of my fight yesterday with Bryson to him. I’d needed somebody to talk to, and he’d been a willing ear.

“I had most of yesterday, after I got home, to stew over our fight. Then I got sidetracked with family stuff and didn’t have time to dwell much on it. Then I went to bed, and by the time I woke up this morning, I found myself missing him.” I turned to face Dotun. “I believe I’m falling in love with him, and it scares me.”

“Why? Because of some flirty messages you saw a few guys send to him?”

“It’s not about the messages. It’s about the fact that he seemed to enjoy them.”

“But you said he didn’t respond in kind to them…”

“Yes,” I said. “He also didn’t let on that he was unavailable, that he has a boyfriend.” Continue reading

UNDESERVING

heartbreak-1It feels good being with him. It always does. I smile to myself as I grab the two orders of ice cream off the counter of the Coldstone creamery outlet at the Palms mall, in Lekki. I turn around and smile at the young man in a denim shirt sitting on a bench a few feet away. His name is Rotimi and he is my boyfriend.

Rotimi and I have had a rocky past. We first met two years ago and started dating, and I fell madly in love with him. Unfortunately, we had to end it a few months down the line because he slept with someone else. The issue wasn’t the infidelity, really. I was just pissed that he cheated on me with an individual that was way, way, WAY below the average level of attractiveness. I mean, why would he leave all of this and go and sleep with a dog? I had every right to dump him.

However, my heart refused to forget him, and after a year and some months, we were back together, and I was happy once again. To be really honest, nobody else had been able to make me as happy as Rotimi made me, and nobody had been able to turn me on as much as he did. Oh yes, some people had come really close, I mean really, really close, but Rotimi takes the cake *insert drooling smiley here*

Anyway, we are both out on a date, spending well-deserved quality time with each other, and I am in cloud 9. I really love this guy, I know. Sometimes the extent to which I do scares me. Continue reading

The Boy I Never Had (Part 2)

g4My phone beeped as a text message came in. My pulse quickened as my heart sank. I shook off the feeling of dread that settled on me and opened the text. It was from Timi. The words I read chilled my blood instantly.

I think you misunderstood my soft nature and gestures. I am not what you think I am. A guy falling for a guy? Seriously, this is crazy. I’m not into your demeaning lifestyle.

In that instant, I felt like I had just been slammed by a fully-loaded truck traveling at full speed. The blood in my veins turned to ice. My brain reeled and raced in a wild jumble of thoughts. What did I miss? How did this happen? Perhaps it wasn’t him sending this horrible text… There was just no way on earth the caring, loving guy I had been spending so much time with and who gave off all those positive vibes could be sending such a horrible message. I was in a state of shock and disbelief for several long minutes.

And then, I snapped out of it and went into a defensive mode. And I did something I never thought I’d ever do. I denied my sexuality. Rashly and without much thought, I composed a text: I’m sorry if my text made you uncomfortable, I’m not gay, I just have a tendency to form strong emotional connections with anyone (boy or girl).

As I pressed the send button, a part of me realized that I was making a mistake and further complicating issues. His reply came soon after, and before long, we were engaged in a series of back-and-forth texts. Continue reading

The Morning Poem

0d246deThis is not a love story

I saw our silhouettes dancing against the stone backdrop

That is my heart

It is a monument,

It represents a myth that was once true

We flickered with the same intensity as flames in a campfire

 I began to feel warmth inside me, a burning sensation

The monument collapsed the moment you decided

This love wasn’t good enough anymore.

It was then that I truly knew

What it felt like to be heartbroken

A memory of our silhouettes

Danced against the aftermath of your destruction

The stand is a reminder that when you shine a light on our souls

 Only darkness is revealed.

Written by Maxonex

MY PROBLEM…AND MY SOLUTION

5626690325_f4d35c10b0_zLove is a tricky thing. It varies in intensity and in the specificity of emotions. It is sometimes the most beautiful thing in the world and, at other times, it’s the most horrid thing one will ever know. It’s odd how one thing can be the cause of so many contrary feelings – love is the only thing that can easily and comfortably encompass both good and evil, beautiful and ugly. There is, however, another kind of love, a much darker and sadder kind of love. It’s the kind of love that doesn’t signal the beginning of something beautiful, but rather the end of something that might have been beautiful, but will never amount to anything more than what it is.

I know this particular kind of feeling all too well.  Continue reading

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 1)

Here’s another series from yet another Kito-Diaries-sian, James. It’s not fiction. It’s a Dear Diary sort of write-up, one that will afford us glimpses into the life of a brother. Here’s the debut episode. Read and enjoy.

*

Blog_KD JournalApril 9

Love. . .

That word gives me different reactions. Sometimes it’s a “blergh!” Other times, it’s a “sigh”.

I have been in love. It hurt. But it also felt good. I couldn’t differentiate the two feelings. I felt them both intensely. And I didn’t bother to separate them either, because human love is an imperfect thing. You just enjoy and suffer whatever it gives you.

Maybe saying I was in love is a bit wrong. I still love, but it’s buried now. It had to be. For my good, for my sanity. I try not to think about then, when I felt everything would be alright as long as I had my love. Him. John. Sure, I got hurt so many times but I always got over it. I would rant and cry and be depressed but I would still look up ahead because I felt I could pull through anything as long as the other person was with me. Too bad they didn’t think the same. Continue reading