Blog_Hook-Up StoryEver since Ode To Lesbianism was penned by Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, I found myself deeply thinking about the possibility of two Bottoms being in a relationship. A monogamous relationship. I asked a colleague, my very few friends and an acquaintance. I got mostly vehement NOs and three YESs.

Then I proceeded to ask myself why Bottoms cringe at the thought of being intimate with or dating another Bottom even when there’s chemistry or a connection.

Some cringe because they feel or think or understand that being on the receiving end of a dick equals femininity; which I absolutely find absurd, because there are buff, muscle-toned guys who take dick.

I think it boils down to the attitude you’re stepping into the relationship with. Continue reading

What’s On Your Mind… V

Blog_What's On Your MindA few weeks ago, I went on a trip to one of the cities in the South for the wedding of an old friend. We’d been rather close during our days on campus, but well, life happens to us all, and in the years since we graduated and got busy with our careers, we drifted apart, in spite of the fact that we worked not too far from each other. I guess it was mostly due to a tendency on my part to spend less and less time with people with whom I couldn’t truly be myself with.

Anyway, out of the blue one day, he called me up and after the initial “Nawa o, you dey this country so? Nobody dey see you o, e be like you don hammer and you wan chop ya money only you”, to which I made the usual excuses and some noises about being busy and all, and how we ought to meet up soon for drinks and a chance to catch up. Of course, I had no intention of making this meeting happen anytime soon. And so, he informed me that he was soon to be married and wished that I be one of his groomsmen. I groaned inwardly and eventually reluctantly made up my mind to be part of his nuptials, especially as he subsequently called me several times in the following days to be sure that I would be present at his wedding. I coughed out the money for the groomsmen suit, and soon, I arrived at my friend’s town a day before the wedding. My journey was quicker than I’d anticipated, and so I got into town well before evening. I had to stop over at an old (gay) friend’s place to catch up and get my freak on. Later in the evening, after an exhausting session of bedmatics, I headed over to the apartment where the soon-to-be married guy had arranged for his groomsmen to be accommodated. It was late so I said my hellos and shortly after undressed for bedtime. The groom and a few other old friends made some noise about going clubbing, but I feigned extreme exhaustion from my long journey; I really wasn’t in the mood to party with them. I knew very well that the night would end with all the guys picking up and coming back with girls/hookers. Indeed, I was woken later in the night by the sound of one of the guys going at it with a girl he’d brought back from the club. I clasped the pillow tight to over my ears and tried to shut out their lust-filled sounds.

The next day, the wedding came and passed without a hitch. Continue reading

This One Is For The Power Bottoms

tumblr_n3vrx0q4cf1t477oao1_500Titled ‘Bottoms Considered More Promiscuous than Tops?’, this piece was originally published on It’s quite a read. Check on it below and share your thoughts.


I’ve always believed that bottoms have more fun. We’re able to tease, please and squeeze our way into sexual situations necessary for us to be a part of. After all, if there isn’t a man willing to bend over backwards, penetration is out of the question. That in itself gives us power, but have the bottoms of the world taken it to another level?

Power bottoms are everywhere. We’re hiding in the corners and dancing in the middle of the floor as soon as you enter a gay club. To an onlooker, it seems like we’re eager and hungry to please the first hot man we see. This is true most of the time, hell, I was one of them. But this is where our power lies. Because we know how wanted we are, it allows us to expand our horizons to any place we choose. Continue reading

Let’s Discuss…About Genders And Gay Sex Roles

Blog_Let's DiscussTops are men. Bottoms are women.

Tops are masculine. Bottoms are effeminate.

Tops are dominant. Bottoms are submissive.

Tops are strong and steady as a rock. Bottoms are soft and dramatic.

Tops are the bigger, huskier ones in a relationship. Bottoms are those smaller ones by their sides.

Gender stereotypes have crossed the train tracks into the LGBT lane, and they weren’t driven here by the straight people even. No. It is fellow gay men that perpetuate these ludicrous myths.

When an accepting and curious straight person asks a gay person the question, “So who’s the man and who’s the woman in your relationship?”, it is offensive yet mildly amusing. However, when it’s a fellow gay, it’s downright blasphemous and must be set straight (pun intended). There are two penises involved in man-on-man action, so what’s the deal with people thrusting vaginas into the mix? Continue reading

Those Five Things You Should Know About Your Ass

timthumbIt is pretty clear that gay men have major thing for all things anal. Not to rain on anyone’s patootie parade with this piece (originally published on, but there are important things about your (second) favorite body part that you need to know so you don’t get any unwanted junk in your trunk.

Queerty spoke to expert fanny physician Elie Schochet, MD, of Ft Lauderdale, who has become a popular go-to man on anal health. And as a straight man who claims to tell gay guys how to use their asses right, here’s some important messages he has imparted.

  1. Respect your sphincter!

Pain is a signal from our body that something is wrong. Yes, anal sex can hurt as you learn to relax, but real pain should never be ignored, no matter how insistent the top might be. Your anus needs to last you a really long time and injuries can mean a lifetime of problems. Continue reading

That Piece About Transitioning Top to Bottom

427081.TIFFOREWORD: This is a follow-up on the idea of support proposed by Sensei. The official email address is And the support system is comprised of three categories: members of the gaybourhood who are struggling with their HIV positive status, those recovering from Kito attacks, and those suffering from bouts of depression.

If you intend to volunteer as a counselor, simply send a mail to the address above, indicating your interest and which category you want to play a part in.

And if you are a brother (or sister) suffering through any of these three phases, kindly send a mail to the address above, and we’ll do our best to get you the help you deserve.


Today’s post is a non fictional piece written by keredim69, and originally published on his blog,


A friend of mine commented that all I tend to share are shag stories about me being the Top and never the Bottom. A fair comment which I have sought to address a few times. Like most Tops out there, I am versatile when I am in a relationship. It is during these relationships that I have learned not only how to Bottom but also how to give Bottoms pleasure, and by so doing, be a good Top. Continue reading

Bad News For Bottoms: New Study Finds Too Much Penetration Can Cause Cancer

bottom_1.jpg_480_480_0_64000_0_1_0Originally published on

A new study out of the University of Montréal has found that men who have sex with 20 or more partners during their lifetimes are less likely to develop prostate cancer. But there’s a catch: It only applies to straight guys. Gay men who bump uglies with 20 or more partners during their lifetimes are more likely to develop prostate cancer.

Epidemiologist Marie-Élise Parent and her researchers surveyed more than 3,200 guys in the Montréal area who answered a comprehensive questionnaire that covered many aspects of their lives, including their bedroom activities. About half of respondents had been diagnosed with prostate cancer between 2005 and 2009.

According to the study’s findings, straight male sluts are 28 percent less likely of one day being diagnosed with prostate cancer than their more chaste counterparts, and those that do develop prostate cancer are 19 percent less likely to develop an aggressive form of the disease.

Why is this? Continue reading

The Piece about Gay Sex Labels

This write-up is very American, set in New York, and originally published as ‘Who’s On Top?’

I read it, and since most LGBT issues, especially the ones pertaining to gay sex, are globally relatable, I felt it ought to be shared here. Read and let us know your thoughts.


g19The surge in Internet dating has enabled straight singles to delineate their romantic requirements in no uncertain terms—religion, income, smoking policy—but in gay men’s personals, there’s another category in the mix: top or bottom. (For those not in the know, the bottom is, sexually speaking, the one on the receiving, or “catching,” end of things.) In a city where it’s hard enough to figure out how to get sex, gay men must also figure out how to have it. The wrong position in the right guy can be an automatic deal breaker, making an already complex dating world even more difficult to navigate. “I’ll be online,” says Jason, 33, a financial consultant, “chatting with some guy, we’ll be getting along really well, and then I’ll say I’m a bottom and he’ll say, ‘Me too. Okay. Good-bye,’ and sign off.” Continue reading

How To Be Better at Bottoming

Purchase this image at published on

Have you ever looked at gay porn and thought, “How can they make bottoming look so easy?” A hung top sticks it in like a glute inject and the bottom doesn’t even flinch. Bottoming isn’t just about the physical sensation of being penetrated, it’s the emotional high of accepting someone else’s presence in your body. It’s the psychological thrill of being momentarily “owned,” of submitting yourself to the strength of another man.

This is the single biggest emotional stumbling block gay men have about bottoming—being labeled less than a man. For many of us, bottoming isn’t an opportunity to enjoy a pleasurable sexual experience but an act that threatens our sense of masculinity and the respect that goes with it. Many gay men believe that if they bottom, they will become “a bottom.” They fear that bottoming will create a new unwanted identity for them. It just may be that you haven’t been able to bottom (or been able to enjoy it) because you have so many emotional issues around the act. If you can get away from the falsehood of bottoming as an identity and see it for what it is—an erotic activity—the more relaxed and receptive you will be. Continue reading