That Piece About Gay Sex And Sexual Identity

g-stay5Originally published on blackgaymensblog.com, with the title ‘Sexuality and Identity: Does Gay Sex Make One Homosexual?’

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Personally, I do not believe that engaging in gay sex once makes a man (or woman) gay. I don’t believe sexuality is that clear cut – it all depends on the circumstances surrounding the sexual encounter. I am not suggesting homosexuality is a choice, but I think engaging in homosexual acts can be.

Let me make one thing clear, I am not talking about repetitive, on-going sexual encounters or referring to those men who might be in denial. I think that any man who has gay sex for a prolonged period of time, or has numerous male sexual partners is at the very least bisexual. Especially, if he does so when he has free access to women and the life of a loved one is not threatened. I think some gay men are too quick to want to label anyone who has had homosexual sex as gay or no longer straight. Sexuality is simply not that black and white – not all sexual encounters define one’s sexuality. The label “gay” is a western concept, and there are societies in which that label doesn’t exist and others where the gender of one’s sexual partners is not as big a deal as it might be here in the USA. In those societies, “gay” is not a political statement, and so I’m trying to look at things more broadly. We don’t have to agree, but we can respect and maybe learn from one another.

That being said, I have a few questions, which might challenge the notion that once a man has had homosexual sex, he is no longer straight: Continue reading

DEAR KD: I Have A Bothersome Health Issue

Blog_Dear KDIt took a lot of encouragement from Pink Panther and some mining of guts on my own part to let this post happen. I am a naturally reserved person, to the point of introversion, and I am not wont to drawing attention to myself. That is why I have being reading this blog since its inception and never once commented. But I’m pragmatic enough to know that when you have a problem which you cannot handle on your own, and you do not ask for help, then you suffer greatly for it.

So when I reached out to PP and he admitted he didn’t have all the answers and asked if he should bring it up in the house, I first hedged, and then I conceded.

For the purpose of this update, my name is Timothy. I live in Lagos. And I am a Bottom. Please, in your comments, it wouldn’t do to ask me why I’m not Top or observe how being Versatile can help solve my problem. I’ve identified who I am in the bedroom, and that is what it is. Continue reading

This One Is For The Power Bottoms

tumblr_n3vrx0q4cf1t477oao1_500Titled ‘Bottoms Considered More Promiscuous than Tops?’, this piece was originally published on gayguys.com. It’s quite a read. Check on it below and share your thoughts.

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I’ve always believed that bottoms have more fun. We’re able to tease, please and squeeze our way into sexual situations necessary for us to be a part of. After all, if there isn’t a man willing to bend over backwards, penetration is out of the question. That in itself gives us power, but have the bottoms of the world taken it to another level?

Power bottoms are everywhere. We’re hiding in the corners and dancing in the middle of the floor as soon as you enter a gay club. To an onlooker, it seems like we’re eager and hungry to please the first hot man we see. This is true most of the time, hell, I was one of them. But this is where our power lies. Because we know how wanted we are, it allows us to expand our horizons to any place we choose. Continue reading

Let Me Be Your Bitch

tumblr_m3v5qolW7E1qcynoao1_500FOREWORD: As you can already tell from the title, this is an erotic work of fiction. I’m putting this out here for those who will commence reading, expecting some braingasm. There is none to be had here. It’s about delicious, filthy gay sex. And it’s PG 25, and PG ‘All Those Already Behind Their Desks At Work.’ 🙂 Read at your own risk and titillation.

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It was on a Friday that I went to my favorite restaurant for lunch. This hot, young, new waiter that looked like he was not a day older than twenty greeted me at the door, and escorted me to my table. He was Caucasian, with ginger hair, hazel eyes, and a slim, well-proportioned, sinewy body. He stood at about 5-feet and 10-inches, and it looked like he weighed around 160 pounds. He looked like someone had poured him into those fashionable blue Levis and black shirt. His pants fit snugly and wrapped perfectly around the cute bubble ass I could see departing from me after he took my order.

Although the restaurant was packed with customers, he went out of his way to assist me. He seemed taken with me, and I could see that my physicalness that impressed him just as he had me. I have the dark skin of my African origin, am 40 years of age with a swimmers body. I stand at 6-feet, weigh a muscled 170 pounds, and look no older than my late twenties.

He kept returning to my table, asking me if I needed anything else. After the fifth trip, it was obvious that his behavior was out of the ordinary. He was smooth, oh-so-very smooth in his shenanigans. He stared into my eyes, extended his hand, rubbed his crotch up against my arm and said, “Hi, my name is Phil. And you are?” Continue reading

No Strings With Mike Daemon (Episode 6)

NOSTRINGS POSTER 6STAYING HEALTHY AS A HOMOSEXUAL

Homosexuals are commonly tagged as ‘pleasure seekers’ and as a result, many people including homosexuals themselves, perceive homosexuality as a ‘FUN Lifestyle’. But it’s neither fun nor a lifestyle. It’s who we are. And if we don’t get a handle on the choices we are driven to make by our sexuality, there’s a whole lot of deep shit (no pun intended) we might get ourselves into.

Statistics from all around the world show that homosexuals (gay men) are more prone to contracting dangerous sexually-transmitted diseases than people of other orientations. As fact, homosexuals rank the highest number of people living and dying from HIV/AIDS. It is for these reasons that #NOSTRINGS discusses and exposes the common dangerous sexual practices of gay sex, as well as provides knowledge into methods that could help the average homosexual person stay safe and healthy. The discussion balances sexual pleasure and safety as the both are paramount to every human being, homosexuals inclusive. Continue reading

Question Of The Day IV

So here’s a quick question.Screenshot_2015-03-22-01-28-36

Go on then, give us your answers. If you’ve ever wanted to have a quick one before your roommate returned from the barbershop, or at night in the same room with your snoring cousin, or – in some shocking cases, I’ve heard – closeted in the men’s room of a fast-food joint… how quick did you want it to be?

FROM THE RISING OF THE SUN (Episode 3)

Blog_From The Rising Of The SunAtum couldn’t sleep. He tossed about in his bed, fuming still. He could not explain why he was still so angry at Badru. But he was.

The filth of a scum, he thought wrathfully. Imagine having the nerve to come into his presence with prostitutes for his guest, as if he asked for it. And Gal, was he pleased by the offer? Yes, he had rejected Badru’s offering, but who was to say he hadn’t merely done that as an act of modesty in the presence of the prince? Soldiers such as he were legendary for their insatiable appetite for what lay between the thighs of women. He may very well have requested for Badru to return the girls to his room after he, Atum, left to retire for the night.

Images of Gal’s huge frame positioned over the nubile women flashed then through his mind. He grimaced as he saw in his mind’s eye that panther skin glowing in the dark as he drove deep into the sex of one of them harlots with vigour, while she screamed, her breasts joggling this way and that in tandem with his thrusts. The imagination gave Atum a jolt. Continue reading

Those Five Things You Should Know About Your Ass

timthumbIt is pretty clear that gay men have major thing for all things anal. Not to rain on anyone’s patootie parade with this piece (originally published on queerty.com), but there are important things about your (second) favorite body part that you need to know so you don’t get any unwanted junk in your trunk.

Queerty spoke to expert fanny physician Elie Schochet, MD, of Ft Lauderdale, who has become a popular go-to man on anal health. And as a straight man who claims to tell gay guys how to use their asses right, here’s some important messages he has imparted.

  1. Respect your sphincter!

Pain is a signal from our body that something is wrong. Yes, anal sex can hurt as you learn to relax, but real pain should never be ignored, no matter how insistent the top might be. Your anus needs to last you a really long time and injuries can mean a lifetime of problems. Continue reading

NATIONAL CAKE

tumblr_mtyy5xqdDp1qgurb6o1_1280The following is a work of fiction, a debut effort by KDian, Masked Man. Enjoy.

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It was 6.30pm by the time our bus got to Nyanya Motor Park. I was thoroughly exhausted. I never knew Lagos to Abuja was like Africa to Asia. I was in high spirits, a mood of anticipation at the beginning of this journey, you know, going to the capital city for the first time and all that. But all that good mood wilted when I was stuck in Lokoja traffic for hours that seemed unending.

My brother was at the terminal to pick me. I hadn’t seen him in seven months since his traditional wedding in May, at Nnewi. The church wedding was last month, but I couldn’t attend because I had an exam. He was looking quite different. Was that a pot belly? We quickly exchanged pleasantries, put my bag in the back seat and drove off. We kept bantering on different issues all through the short ride.

Adaora was at the door to welcome me, her dearest brother-in-law. She was fonder of me than the rest of my siblings. Perhaps because I’m the last or because I’m the sibling who is closest to her husband. Yes, Ugo is the eldest of us, but the two of us, first and last, have a special connection. Adaora sashayed toward me as I jammed the passenger car door close, and flung out her arms in a wide embrace that couldn’t take two people in. I took in her Jessica White body figure and we hugged for some seconds. Continue reading