FIRST TIME: THE BEGINNING

FOREWORD: Ever since Absalom wrote about his first time, I’ve been on the look-out for another first time story. Then this writer narrated his to me, and I just knew I had to convince him to write about it. The story has all the makings of a fatal-desire-esque feel to it, and this here is the first part. Read and enjoy. And oh, some of you may know who the writer is even before getting to the end. 😀

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He was my Ellen and I was his Portia. We always found time for each other even in the midst of our crazy schedules on a daily basis. I loved him dearly with every fibre in me. He was my first love, my first sex, and his name was Danny.

Once upon a time in the early 2000s, there was a doe-eyed, optimistic freshman in a university somewhere in Nigeria. This person was me. It was the first semester of 100level and I was so excited to be in the university, but the excitement was short-lived after a few days of attending lectures. The alien and bizarre environment, the unusual faces, the crowd, the noise and the whole chaos of jumping from one lecture hall to another was something I found rather unsettling. I prefer order and sanity, things being done perfectly in a calm manner. And for all the dreams and fantasies I had before I got the admission, my experience wasn’t one of them.

But in the midst of all the chaos, I found something comforting, something that made it all worthwhile.

BASIC INSTINCT

He is French and about forty-five years old. (Let’s call him Pierre) A friend of mine introduced me to him sometime last year. At the time, he was living with his Cameroonian boyfriend. We visited them often, and we’d have lunch together and discuss vast issues. It was always fun.

And then, he split from his boyfriend, but our friendship blossomed. When it seemed as though he was putting the works on me, I made it clear to him that I don’t feel sexually attracted to men who are very much older than I am. He told me he respected my decision, and we continued being friends.

And then, he invited me to lunch at his place. We’d been talking about a wide range of LGBT issues through phone chats, and I figured lunch would be a good opportunity to rehash some of those talks and revisit the areas we disagreed on. And so, I honoured the lunch date on the late afternoon about two weeks ago.

BOTTOMS UP

Ever since Ode To Lesbianism was penned by Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, I found myself deeply thinking about the possibility of two Bottoms being in a relationship. A monogamous relationship. I asked a colleague, my very few friends and an acquaintance. I got mostly vehement NOs and three YESs.

Then I proceeded to ask myself why Bottoms cringe at the thought of being intimate with or dating another Bottom even when there’s chemistry or a connection.

Some cringe because they feel or think or understand that being on the receiving end of a dick equals femininity; which I absolutely find absurd, because there are buff, muscle-toned guys who take dick.

I think it boils down to the attitude you’re stepping into the relationship with.

Kiss And Tell (Entry 2)

The National Youth Service Corps is a period of serving one’s fatherland. Corpers are usually exhorted to be industrious in this service, making sure to be very dedicated in all you do, and endeavouring to bring satisfaction to both you and your community.

I simply LOVED serving my fatherland. I served him well.

I embarked on my NYSC in 2009; I was posted to Nassarawa State. My place of primary assignment was in a secondary school, and I was assigned to teach Biology to SS2 students. But then, I had my eye on one SS3 boy named Daniel. He got my attention by the sheer force of his size. The guy was the biggest in his set, a veritable hunk. He was nineteen then, but looked like a twenty-five-year-old in size. About 5″10 tall, broad shouldered, dark-skinned, with a large chest the size of a small football field. He was that kind of chocolate bar you just want to keep nibbling and biting and licking all day long. And he was also very respectable and down-to-earth.

Kiss And Tell (Entry 1)

FOREWORD: KingBey has had sexcapades, and he is talking about them. 🙂 This is the first entry of his debut series. Read and — Oh whaddaell, you’ll surely let us know what you think after you’ve read this. lol

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And that was how I was on my own on a cold, rainy season evening. This was in April 2008, and I was in school, Abia State University. I’d just finished my degree exams the November of the previous year, but I often came around to the school every now and then to complete and defend my project.

This particular evening, I was seated at a kiosk around the Boy’s Hostel sipping on a Sprite and munching biscuits. Then this tall, dark, slim, young, kind-faced and soft-spoken student pastor came up to preach to me. Let me add here that the school happened to be on vacation then. So the environment was scanty, especially the hostel area. The students who were around were mostly those on the project completion mission as I was, part-time students and some few regular students with one academic issue or the other. So this good-looking student pastor approached me, requested to sit with me, and at my nod, he sat on the bench beside me. Even before he started talking, I knew he was on an evangelical mission. There was this obvious air of righteous rectitude about him that had him pegged.

Carl’s Existentialism V

I’m back in school now, and I have had a shitty sleeping schedule. On Sunday night, I slept at around 4am, knowing I had to be up at 8. Obviously, I slept through half of my Micro class.

“Oh Micro! Why art thou so revealing?” I ask myself in the class every time we learn something new. One thing I kept thinking to myself during class is, all the people who breed the booty like groceries better watch out. E. coli, a bacterium that is normally found in the digestive tract and is very helpful for us, is classified as an opportunistic pathogen if it enters the urinary tract, bloodstream or an open wound. Opportunistic pathogen means that it would lie in wait or be dormant until your immune system is weak. You see where I’m going with this? If a Top has a cut on his lip or tongue, and eats a relatively unclean booty like a starved lion eating its fresh prey, then E. coli from the area of the anus could be transferred into the bloodstream and lie in wait for when the Top’s body’s defenses are weakened. Chei. So also, if the Top fucks raw, the E. coli could move through the D and into the urinary tract, and possibly cause an infection later (don’t quote me on this o, lol. I’m merely speculating. I am no expert). My dearest brothers and sisters, be careful biko.

Sex In Prague

Written by keredim, and originally published on sagbachronicles.com

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It is Sunday. I have been in Prague for two weeks with work. I am horny. I am an arse man. I make no apologies about that. I like them bubble, I like them muscular, I like them pert, I like them visible. When I see guys I like on the street, in the bus, train, clubs, bars, wherever, I check out their backsides. I check out the local guys here, and though majority of them have porn star looks, their arses were flat, sometimes concave shaped. My chances of getting laid seem low.

Previous attempts at hooking up using Grindr and Scruff have been futile. About 80% of the profiles on there are twinks. I am beginning to think this is where twinks are manufactured and sent out to the rest of Europe – a bit like the Skoda. Twinks are not for me. I prefer muscular/athletic body types. I mention this in my profile, but this is ignored. A common trend I find, no matter where in the world I am. No one reads. Why the twinks pose like Victoria Beckham, complete with pouty lips in their profile pics, bewilders me. They send me unsolicited pics of their bums, usually exposing their arseholes. Where I am lucky, they send bum pics in a bend-over pose to accentuate their bony arses.

Let’s Discuss . . . About Sex

So this KDian (a friend of mine who we shall call Fred) identifies as a Bottom in the bedroom. And recently, he’s being getting acquainted with someone. Fred lives in Calabar, and this potential hookup of his (named Iyke) lives in Enugu. They haven’t met, their flirtationship has been via BBM and Whatsapp. And even though work has made it often possible for Fred to travel to Enugu, he hasn’t made any concerted effort to see Iyke, in spite of admitting to an attraction for him.

So when I asked him what the problem was, he deadpanned: “He has a big dick and expects to fuck me for 45 minutes.”

I thought he was kidding; then he explained in detail. Apparently, during the progress of them getting to know each other, they talked about sex and their expectations. In between the swapping of dick-and-ass pictures, Iyke let on to Fred that he loves prolonged sex. According to him, he won’t stop banging away at an ass until at least forty-five minutes is past. This admission was very much to Fred’s displeasure, who quipped to me: “What does he think I have behind, a vagina? It’s an ass, and there’s only so much pounding I can take before it turns from pleasure to chore.”

THE HOOK-UP STORY II

FOREWORD: This is a tentative nonfictional series (the first out of two, and tentative because the writers haven’t committed fully to the idea) that will be the narration of man’s basic desire – Sex. (Sapiosexuals, you may look away now) ‘The Hook-Up Story’ is a narration of Regal Sweetheart’s sexcapades, and the second series is that of KingBey (he’s still working out some kinks).

If you haven’t read the debut of Regal Sweetheart’s Hook-Up Story, you may check it out HERE. And now, for the second episode, read and enjoy.

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It was supposed to be a Sunday like every other. Wake up early, go to church and be useful, then come back and work till late. I’m one who works everyday to keep the bills paid and have some extra, as I like to be independent. Plus, I love what I do for work. It entails me going from place to place and speaking quite educatedly.

But this Sunday was different. I swear, the heavens must have set ‘Lazy Song’ as my soundtrack for the day, because not only did I not go to church, I also slept back after a few hours of my waking and almost missed the time for work. Almost.

KIZITO SPEAKS VI

Read the prequel to this episode HERE

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I settled down and was taking in the details of the living room. I wasn’t very comfortable. Lamar’s friend – who he introduced as Joe – had welcomed me briefly and gone back in to finish a cigarette. Lamar went to get refreshment. He mixed Ogidiga with Hollandia Strawberry Yogurt and offered me a glass to sip. I declined, but he was persistent.

I thought to myself, does he want to drug me and then –

But he had mixed the drinks in my very before. Anyway, I took the glass and took a sip. Hmm. Bitter-sweet taste. I kinda liked it. He sat down across me and kept his stare fixated on my features. Me, I simply kept my own gaze on the mute TV and paid attention to the music coming from the stereo.

“I like your music…” I said.