RANTINGS OF A RANDOM (Gay) NIGERIAN (Entry 22)

After the US Supreme Court made the landmark decision to legalize gay marriage across the 50 states of America, there were lots of reactions across the world. Nigeria in its true fashion went ballistic, mostly with people condemning the ruling and saying all manner of horrible things about the country. The hate that was spewed online could actually bake a cake. America was called godless, satanic and all, even by people who had applied for American visas several times and would move to America in a heartbeat.

I went on the attack, hacking down any hateful comment that made its way to my timeline on all my social media accounts. I did not care whatever impression these commenters had about me. I just attacked and hacked at every homophobic post that I saw till I got exhausted and realized it was really no use. Just as Khaleesi has often pointed out, homophobia is entwined in the DNA of Nigeria as a nation. So I gave up and resorted to blocking/deleting. If I saw any hateful comment or post, I either unfollowed its owner or blocked him. And by the middle of the day, I had deleted over 12 contacts on BBM alone and was looking forward to a no-negativity internet experience.

Photo Of The Day XXXII

I don’t speak Latin, but it’s pretty obvious what message this is passing across. Lol.

BOTTOMS UP

Ever since Ode To Lesbianism was penned by Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, I found myself deeply thinking about the possibility of two Bottoms being in a relationship. A monogamous relationship. I asked a colleague, my very few friends and an acquaintance. I got mostly vehement NOs and three YESs.

Then I proceeded to ask myself why Bottoms cringe at the thought of being intimate with or dating another Bottom even when there’s chemistry or a connection.

Some cringe because they feel or think or understand that being on the receiving end of a dick equals femininity; which I absolutely find absurd, because there are buff, muscle-toned guys who take dick.

I think it boils down to the attitude you’re stepping into the relationship with.

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 40)

June 20

You know how some people say the dumbest shit and it leaves you feeling so disheartened about the fate of the human race if people like that exist… Well, I’ve experienced it quite lately from different people. Like the girl that knows of my sexuality but still uses it as an insult on guys, even though she swears she accepts me for who I am…or my classmate who was taking panadol for Caitlyn Jenner’s headache…or the guy who thinks a Versatile guy is a closet bottom 99% of the time.

Let’s see… If a person is Bottom and Bottom alone, you could say he’s quite incapable mentally of being Top, and even if he does, he doesn’t enjoy it. A Top would rather not get fucked too, because he wouldn’t enjoy it. He could just think he won’t enjoy it, or he’s tried and tested it and found out he doesn’t like it at all, and then sticks to being Top. Either way, he’s doing what he enjoys the most.

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 37)

May 15

Growing up, I think sex was one of the few uncomplicated things I knew. You were Top, Bottom, or Versatile. It really didn’t matter what you liked because it was all fun for the two parties involved, and if done right, both parties would go home quite content and happy with an afterglow. I bottomed quite happily for people because it was fun. I asked a few times if I could top (disrespectful child), and I was refused. Even by the so-called Versatiles. But oh well… I was a young one and they might have felt uncomfortable or something. I however patiently waited for my university days when, at least, I’d find even some of my age mates that we’d get to flip flop and stuff.

University has however shown me that many more unimportant things have come into defining sexual roles, making things unnecessarily complicated. I can’t even state my role comfortably without being told I should be Bottom and not Versatile. It was just some dude I met and maybe, because I wasn’t edgy or hard enough, he thought it meant I should only get it up the ass. I just smiled sheepishly at that. By the time I’m done dealing with him…

Let’s Discuss…About Genders And Gay Sex Roles

Tops are men. Bottoms are women.

Tops are masculine. Bottoms are effeminate.

Tops are dominant. Bottoms are submissive.

Tops are strong and steady as a rock. Bottoms are soft and dramatic.

Tops are the bigger, huskier ones in a relationship. Bottoms are those smaller ones by their sides.

Gender stereotypes have crossed the train tracks into the LGBT lane, and they weren’t driven here by the straight people even. No. It is fellow gay men that perpetuate these ludicrous myths.

When an accepting and curious straight person asks a gay person the question, “So who’s the man and who’s the woman in your relationship?”, it is offensive yet mildly amusing. However, when it’s a fellow gay, it’s downright blasphemous and must be set straight (pun intended). There are two penises involved in man-on-man action, so what’s the deal with people thrusting vaginas into the mix?

Morning Humour XIV

LMAO! Those expressions in the picture kill me every time. This is a response bottoms so don’t wanna hear from a guy they’re just starting to like.

Morning Humour XII

A KDian sent me a screengrab of his online hook-up chat. Check on it below.LOL! If he doesn’t protect his role as a bottom, who will?

An Opinion About Roles And Stereotypes

FOREWORD: KD Support is now active! Volunteers and people needing virtual support can email us at kds.system14@gmail.com. And now, on to the post of the day…

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Human beings have a knack for stereotyping and the male LGBT community doesn’t make it any better. Asking or telling someone that one is Top, Bottom or Versatile tends to create a mental picture in the mind of the other person (with or without facial contact). It’s automatically assumed that the Top is alpha masculine, is the “Man”, has everything going on for him, has a huge dick, is very macho, doesn’t shed a tear, is either the suit-and-tie guy or the shirt-and-jeans guy. It unfortunately is also stereotypically ingrained that the Bottom is the “Female”, weak at heart, feminine in many ways than allowed by society, weaker generally.

In reality, those ‘roles’ aren’t what define us. They are the things we enjoy in bed and not a personality or character. It’s that flawed mentality that has corrupted the shallow thinkers and sadly, initiates, and that has caused the sort of infraction that we have in the community today. The Bottom soon believes that (because) he is Bottom and so should become more feminine, softer, be pampered, more relying than reliable. The Top sees himself as being Top and so should become more masculine than he already is or can be, stretch himself further, become a walking dick, get an inflated ego because he believes he’s a rare specimen provided to the community and should be worshiped. Then there’s the Versatile, the one who likes to take the dick just as well as give it; because of the stereotype of Bottoms, he chooses to be Top, and VersTop when probed further.

That Piece About Transitioning Top to Bottom

FOREWORD: This is a follow-up on the idea of support proposed by Sensei. The official email address is kds.system14@gmail.com. And the support system is comprised of three categories: members of the gaybourhood who are struggling with their HIV positive status, those recovering from Kito attacks, and those suffering from bouts of depression.

If you intend to volunteer as a counselor, simply send a mail to the address above, indicating your interest and which category you want to play a part in.

And if you are a brother (or sister) suffering through any of these three phases, kindly send a mail to the address above, and we’ll do our best to get you the help you deserve.

 

Today’s post is a non fictional piece written by keredim69, and originally published on his blog, sagbachronicles.com

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A friend of mine commented that all I tend to share are shag stories about me being the Top and never the Bottom. A fair comment which I have sought to address a few times. Like most Tops out there, I am versatile when I am in a relationship. It is during these relationships that I have learned not only how to Bottom but also how to give Bottoms pleasure, and by so doing, be a good Top.