Have You Seen ‘The Skinny’?

skinnyIt’s a 2012 gay movie, but I only just saw it. And it is a very real movie, touching on most of the insecurities of the gay man. As I watched, it didn’t matter that the movie was set in New York and the lives of the characters largely different from mine; I could totally relate. The divides were blurred, and I realized that behind the diverse ethnicities and races, all gay men are essentially the same, with the same questions about life and love.

If you haven’t seen it, you totally should. There were scenes that are hilarious, and others that are thought-provoking. Like this one I’m about to outline. So ok, five college friends – Magnus, Kyle, Joey, Sebastian and Langston (a lesbian) – came together in New York to hang out for a weekend. And during that time, they made discoveries about themselves that only such a time together could have enabled. Magnus had just revealed to his friends that the guy he was currently seeing was someone he met online. And the following dialogue was part of what ensued. Continue reading

Author of Brokeback Mountain Wishes She’d Never Written The Story

brokeback460‘I wish I’d never written the story. It’s just been the cause of hassle and problems and irritation since the film came out. Before the film, it was all right… In Wyoming they won’t read it. A large section of the population is still outraged. But that’s not where the problem was. I’m used to that response from people here, who generally do not like the way I write. But the problem has come since the film. So many people have completely misunderstood the story. I think it’s important to leave spaces in a story for readers to fill in from their own experience, but unfortunately the audience that Brokeback reached most strongly has powerful fantasy lives. And one of the reasons we keep the gates locked here is that a lot of men have decided that the story should have had a happy ending. They can’t bear the way it ends — they just can’t stand it. So they rewrite the story, including all kinds of boyfriends and new lovers and so forth after Jack is killed. And it just drives me wild.

‘They can’t understand that the story isn’t about Jack and Ennis. It’s about homophobia; it’s about a social situation; it’s about a place and a particular mindset and morality. They just don’t get it. I can’t tell you how many of these things have been sent to me as though they’re expecting me to say, ‘Oh great, if only I’d had the sense to write it that way.’ And they all begin the same way — I’m not gay, but?.?.?.? The implication is that because they’re men they understand much better than I how these people would have behaved. And maybe they do. But that’s not the story I wrote. Those are not their characters. The characters belong to me by law.”

— Author Annie Proulx explaining to Paris Review the negative response from some readers to the ending of her short story, Brokeback Mountain, that was adapted into the Academy Award-winning 2005 film

Ten Things HIV-Positive Guys Want Negative Guys To Know

PicturesOriginally published on queerty.com

When Donald Sterling dissed Magic Johnson for being promiscuous and unworthy, it was nothing new for people living with HIV. They’ve heard it all over the years. A lot of those misconceptions persist today, even (or maybe especially) among gay men. Our attitudes can be hurtful, stigmatizing, and even contradictory.

Let’s give HIV-positive gay men the chance to set the record straight, and break down ten things they would like the rest of us to know, based on research by Queerty writer Mark S. King. This list may not represent the views of every positive guy, but they definitely echo many of their most common frustrations.

1. All positive guys are not barebacking drug addicts

It’s probably human nature to try and find fault in the actions of those becoming infected. If we see them as extremists, it helps the rest of us feel more secure in our own choices.

And yet the truth is that the majority of new infections occur within “primary relationships,” such as a lover or boyfriend, and usually because one partner did not know he was infected and then transmitted HIV to his partner. That’s why there’s such intense focus on getting tested and doing it regularly. New infections are typically not the result of some insane night at a meth-fueled sex party or a boozy night at the baths. It happens, sure, but that doesn’t make good ‘ol fashioned sex any safer. Leather or lace, it’s all the same to HIV. Continue reading

The Piece about Gay Sex Labels

This write-up is very American, set in New York, and originally published nymag.com as ‘Who’s On Top?’

I read it, and since most LGBT issues, especially the ones pertaining to gay sex, are globally relatable, I felt it ought to be shared here. Read and let us know your thoughts.

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g19The surge in Internet dating has enabled straight singles to delineate their romantic requirements in no uncertain terms—religion, income, smoking policy—but in gay men’s personals, there’s another category in the mix: top or bottom. (For those not in the know, the bottom is, sexually speaking, the one on the receiving, or “catching,” end of things.) In a city where it’s hard enough to figure out how to get sex, gay men must also figure out how to have it. The wrong position in the right guy can be an automatic deal breaker, making an already complex dating world even more difficult to navigate. “I’ll be online,” says Jason, 33, a financial consultant, “chatting with some guy, we’ll be getting along really well, and then I’ll say I’m a bottom and he’ll say, ‘Me too. Okay. Good-bye,’ and sign off.” Continue reading

THE CALL

o-CELLPHONE-EAR-facebookRecently, I got the call.

I just don’t mean any phone call. This was the call from mummy dearest. It was the one call that most gay men dread; the call that comes from some member of the family, when they want to bring up the issue of the big M.

One of my cousins got married recently and he is about the same age as me. I did not attend because I have started skipping all extended family related events, so that when the pressure starts, I shall only have immediate family to deal with. I have also started drawing lines with immediate family, but that’s story for another day.

Anyway, so mummy dearest called me and the following conversation ensued:

Mummy Dearest: Did you hear of Ifeanyi’s (not real name) wedding? Nna, you did not come…

ME: Yes, I had an exam that day, I could not make it. (Big lie, I was with Mrs. Macaulay)

MD: The weather is so hot these days, my car AC is not working. So driving under the sun is hard. Your sister’s kids are growing really fast…

Let me tell you something about my mom; if there is an “elephant in the room” that she wants to discuss, she will keep running round the matter in circles, not knowing how to approach it until you help her bring it up. On that day however, I decided that two can play that game, as I already knew where she was headed. So I determinedly let the lead be hers to take.

Finally… Continue reading

Ahem! That Awkward Moment when Ebuka Obi-Uchendu asks Alex Ekubo about the time he was ‘dating’ Uti

UntitledI mean, we all know a thing or two about that thing we are not supposed to know…

But, Ebuka, do you know something we don’t already know…

…or was it a slip of both tongue and mouth?

Actor and model Alex Ekubo was a guest on Rubbin Minds on Sunday, and during their discussion, the host Ebuka Obi-Uchendu asked Alex a very interesting question about Alex and his former BFF, Uti Nwachukwu. Ebuka said: “There was a lot of talk about…you know…when you guys were dating…”

Alex immediately stopped him with a laugh and said, “Wow, when we were dating?”

Ebuka rephrased the question and said, “When you guys were together… (Together? That’s better? lol)…there were gay rumours all over the place, you guys refuted it a lot of course…” (And so on and so forth)

Lol. Choi! Live interviews are not the best at all. Watch the video below. Continue reading

Suite 419

kd suite 47Suite 419 was where everything happened; the meeting, the loving, and the breakup. The first time Kene met Chiboy and Peter, he fell immediately for Peter. That night, the moon did not shine because a great cloud covered the sky. A cool breeze blew that night, plastered Kene’s face with water. By the time he got to Timber Avenue, the breeze had turned into a gale, tossing everything in its path. Kene ran into a compound and called his cousin, Val. “Where are you?” Kene asked. “I have the books.”

“Just stay put,” Val said. “I’ll send someone with an umbrella.”

That person was Chiboy: tall, slim, with a delicate fair-skinned, red-lipped handsomeness, like he would break if you touched him too hard. He shook hands with Kene and said “hey” with the deepest voice Kene had ever heard. They walked quickly, closely, sharing the umbrella. Kene did not say much; Chiboy did all the talking.

When they got into the house, the living room was dark. Power had been cut, and Kene could hear someone trying to put on the generator in the balcony. Two people were talking in the balcony. Kene could make out Val’s voice, rough and grainy. Chiboy helped Kene into a seat. Soon, the light came on, the living room awash in a white brilliance. Val came in, laughing at something the guy behind him had said. He smiled at Kene. “This guy na idiot,” he said. “And him get good name oh, Peter. Imagine!” Continue reading

Seven Things I Don’t Like About Being A Bottom

g16This is about me. Me – Pink Panther! I don’t know about them other sistas, but the following are the things I really don’t like about being a Bottom.

1. I don’t like that every Tom, DICK and Harry expects me to just looove to be fucked by a BIG DICK. I don’t subscribe to that. Why should I? I don’t like that he whips it out, and it’s monstrous, and I cringe, and he’s like, ‘Come on, Shaniqua took it all in last week.’ Well, helloooo…I’m Pinky, not Shaniqua, and my asshole does not have an opening the size of an underground train track. I like me some lollipops and bananas, not cucumbers and yams.

2. I don’t like that the Top thinks of me as his woman. Oh for chrissakes, have you seen me? I’ve got no boobs. So when we start dating, don’t expect me to always clean up your shii and cook and spread my legs every time you get an itch, just like that wife your older brother married. Because, news flash! I’m a dude too, and I enjoy moments of that laziness all the women seem to think men have. Continue reading

The World Health Organization Is Perpetuating Gay Stereotypes

By Patrick McAleenan, originally published on The Telegraph

COLOUR - plse save tuesThe World Health Organisation has recommended that all gay men take antiretroviral drugs to stop the spread of HIV, but surely education – not more drugs – is the answer.

Anything else they’d like us to take responsibility for? Famine in Africa? Unemployment statistics? Binge drinking in Magaluf?

Being gay can often feel like the world is against you, and yet again the planet’s HIV epidemic is being firmly placed on our shoulders. I’m talking about the news that the World Health Organisation has announced for the first time that men who have sex with men should take antiretroviral drugs, in a bid to try and contain the growing rates of HIV in gay communities around the world. That’s all men who have sex with men. No mention of men who have sex with women. Are they all suddenly having safe sex? Continue reading

LOVE AND SEX IN THE CITY (Episode 11)

Blog_Love And Sex In The CityUNKNOWN: Fake boy.

D: Who is this please?

UNKNOWN: Fake boy like you,

D: Well, that’s an improvement. I was beginning to think your vocabulary was limited to just two words.

UNKNOWN: Idiot! Faggot like you! Who da hell do you think you are?

D: Someone who has gotten sick and tired of your pestering, that’s who. Now kindly do us both a favour and get a life.

UNKNOWN: It’s your asshole that is sick and tired. Disgusting faggot! Lousy idiot!

D: It says a lot about me that I don’t even have your number stored in my phone. To me, you’re a nonentity. Thank God for Whatsapp’s block button, because after this response, I’ll be blocking you. So don’t bother sending me any more of these childish messages.

D: Get. A. Life!

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I sat in the hallway that adjoined the conference room inside where moments ago, I’d sat with Mrs. Oguzie, Estelle and Dotun for a preliminary grilling session, during which my superiors shed light on the issue surrounding the complaint filed against me. Continue reading