LOVE AND SEX IN THE CITY (Episode 39)

Blog_Love And Sex In The City 02“Um, Yinka, you didn’t tell me you are now running a bed-and-breakfast in your house,” Biola called out as he made his way with affected genteelness to a sofa, into which he lowered himself before looking up.

“Don’t look at me,” I said, as I walked across the room from the inner part of the house to find a seat. I had my shoes in my hand and wanted to set about polishing them. “I only just spent the night here, because Yinka said he couldn’t come pick me up at my house this morning.”

There was some traffic in the small parlour as Adebola, Eddie and Ekene filed past Paschal – who’d opened the door – into the room. They were all well-dressed, and the collective bouquet of their perfumery circumfused and hung richly in the air, a steady reminder that we all had somewhere to be this morning. Continue reading

That Piece About Trans Being the Flavor of the Moment

Laverne-Cox-and-Caitlyn-Jenner-MainOriginally published on out.com

Trans people are hot right now. They’re fabulous, they’re chic, and they’re the toast of the media. Isn’t that great? What could be more swellegant than that?

Well, kindly excuse me for a second while I choke on my metaphorical martini olive. I actually get a little bit nervous when large groups of oppressed people are suddenly swept up by the mainstream and declared OK. First of all, they were always OK. I’ve written about trans people since I started my journalism career in the 1970s, but now that they’ve been deemed trendy, we’re supposed to suddenly sit up and notice them? Furthermore, the mania to brand them as really cool accessories du jour is rather disturbing since a lot of the people jumping on the trans bandwagon would never have gone near anyone openly LGBT for years, not until they signified some kind of cachet in the commercial marketplace. Furthermore, they’re mostly picking up on flashy, famous trans people, not environmentally challenged trans teens, trans people in professions other than show biz, and those who don’t seek the spotlight at all. Continue reading

Trivia From ‘Modern Family’

modern familyThis may or may not be a spoiler. It depends on how you see it after you’ve read it. 🙂

Two weekends ago, I did a marathon watching of Modern Family Season 6. And as all other seasons, this one had me in stitches from all the laughter. There is no end to how this extended family’s craziness delights me. And then, I watched the episode where Jay Pritchett and his son’s husband, Cameron Tucker went for a gay bowling match.

Now, Jay is a recovering ‘anti-homosexualist’. He is okay with the gays in his family, but every now and then, he gets queasy. So you can imagine his outrage when Cameron told him that the bowling match was a gay one, and that he’d have to pretend he is gay. Here’s a extract from there dialogue that I enjoyed and thought to share. Continue reading

DEAR KD: I Know The Man She Wants To Marry

Blog_Dear KDI need advice on this.

So there’s this lady, a nurse here in Bayelsa who I call my ‘mummy’, because she’s like a mother to me. She is quite advanced in age, but unmarried. And she knows about my sexual orientation, yes. She once saw lots of gay porn on my phone the day she was looking at my pic. So I had to come out to her, and she responded with the reassurance that it doesn’t change our relationship. She promised that she was cool with who I am. And she subsequently showed some curiosity on the gay issue, frequently asking for lectures on Gay Sex 101. Our talks on the subject were always fun.

Anyway, there’s this suitor that she’s been telling me about recently. And then, last week Thursday, she told me the guy would be coming over on Saturday, and would be staying a whole week. I couldn’t wait to meet him; she’d told me so much about him. Continue reading

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 38)

Blog_James' Journal

June 6

It’s quite unfortunate that I have to chill till Sunday to say this since Caitlyn Jenner would be a bit of stale news. I’m probably going to sound like a grand douche bag for the next few paragraphs or so, but I feel like I’m correct and nobody has brought up any tangible reason to make me shift my ground.

It started with a tweet I found hilarious and decided to update on my BBM. It went like so: ‘So Caitlyn can transition into a woman, but person no fit bleach…’ or something like that.

I chuckled. Very funny. Then I thought about it. It could be looked at in two ways. This tweet was just an ignorant something the tweep updated to make his followers giggle, or it could actually be pointing out a bit of double standard. Continue reading

An Open Letter To Ageist Gay Men

g53This piece was originally published on Queerty.com

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Dear Ageist Gays,

George Bernard Shaw famously wrote “Youth is wasted on the young.” If you don’t understand what this means, then you likely fall into the category of either ignorant or “young,” which, for the sake of argument, is under the age of 25… OK, OK, 30, for those of you still clinging. But that’s the cutoff, even if you are 50 and describe yourself as a “boi” on your Adam4Adam profile. (More power to you, dude!)

A stubborn minority of gay men maintain ageist attitudes. In the eyes of many gay men, including, evidently, 40 is the new geriatric and 50 is the new dead. Continue reading

Guys Whisper The Highs And (Mostly) Lows Of Online Dating

Gay dating websites can be an awesome way to connect, but can also be a real drag. Messages go unanswered, hours seem wasted scrolling through endless profiles and something that’s supposed to hook you up leaves you feeling as isolated as ever.

Below is a Whisper round-up of revelations made by men who are either disillusioned or ambivalent toward online dating.w1 Continue reading

“A Man Has To Be A Man.” Giorgio Armani Says He Doesn’t Like Men Dressing Too Gay

Giorgio-Armani-Lol, these gay Italian fashion designers sef… Yes, the news cycle is remarkably short and people’s memories are even shorter, but how is it possible that famed designer Giorgio Armani could forget the backlash his fellow Italian designers Dolce and Gabbana faced over their divisive comments about gays? It’s only been a month.

In an interview with The Sunday Times Magazine, Armani, 80, who himself is openly gay, criticized femininity in gay style (Russell Tovey, anyone?), saying:

“A homosexual man is a man 100 percent. He does not need to dress homosexual. When homosexuality is exhibited to the extreme – to say: ‘Ah, you know I’m homosexual,’ – that has nothing to do with me. A man has to be a man.” Continue reading

KIZITO SPEAKS III

Blog_Kizito SpeaksThe way I break up is something else. If I don’t text you for a fortnight, hmm, just know it’s over between us. It’s either I’ve lost interest or an incident led to the silent treatment which in turn would lead to the silent death of our relationship. I get bored easily in relationships.

Chestnut’s words are true: ‘Twinks and Teenagers tend to fall in love with more than two persons for lots of naïve reasons. They be like: I love Max ‘cause he’s witty. Roy isn’t witty, but I love him ‘cause of his fashion sense. Remy is nothing like them; but he’s rich and he spends. You gotta love a guy who isn’t ‘Aka Gummish’. Ifreke is just too cute and sexy, he knows how to work with his tools; I love him. George is very smart and intelligent, I’m sapiosexual for this one. I love him. Ah, Henry is the sweet talker; he tells me what I need to hear. He cheers me up with his sweet words. I love him, too. Tayo has got me with his musical knowledge and talent; oh, and his voice is mesmerizing. I love him. Why, I love them all! And, they love me too.’

Yes. MR RIGHT. Continue reading

That Article About Gay Men And What They’re Still Learning To Love About Their Bodies

groupOriginally published on nightcharm.com

After centuries of religious oppression and decades of sexual shaming and second-class citizenship, gay men are finally achieving legal and social equality with the ability to confidently come out. But we still have a lot to work on when it comes to self-acceptance, especially within our own community and for our bodies. Here are ten things we often get hung up on:

  1. WE DON’T LOOK LIKE THE MEN IN GAY MAGAZINES

We don’t have that six-pack, shiny smooth skin or the chiseled muscles guys in the underwear ads do. But then again, if you caught those same guys on a random Tuesday night, you’d discover that neither do they.

It takes a very precise exercise program, special short-term diet planning and intentional dehydration to look “model-hot” on the specific day and hour of a photo shoot — those models don’t look that way on most days of the year.

Plus, professional photographers are making big bucks for knowing how to take the most flattering photos, and then everything goes through Photoshop.

Wouldn’t you rather show a little life and grit in the way you look every day? Continue reading