Morning Humour XVI: First Impressions

A couple of friends sent me screengrabs of ‘getting to know you’ chats they had on the social media with potential hook-ups. I found them hilarious, the razor-sharp wit of the responses, and I simply had to share.

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 5)

June 20

I’ve got a crack on the screen of my Note 3…one long, slightly-curved crack scarring my precious phone. The funniest part is that I dreamt about something like that happening the night before it happened. I should have gone to meet a babalawo to provide protection for the phone.

I tried searching for phone insurance in Nigeria. We don’t have that…

School has resumed for a while now…

LOVE AND SEX IN THE CITY (Episode 3)

In spite of the urgency I read in Ekene’s call, I took my time closing from work. I put my things together, while mentally calculating the expense of going to his place in Ojuelegba before going on home in Surulere. He was lucky we lived in the same direction, otherwise, not even the sake of our friendship would make me drag my tired self to his place at the end of a work day, braving the mad traffic that was bound to bog down the Lagos metropolis.

As I stepped out of the office, my phone rang again. This time, the name I saw flashing on and off against the brightness of the phone’s screen set my heart into a light skip. The smile I instantly wore was evident in my voice when I answered, “Hey you.”

“Hey yourself,” Basil’s deep voice thrummed against my ear. “How was your day, Dick?”

There was something very suggestive about that moniker every time he referred it to me. “Stop calling me that,” I said with a chuckle, instantly feeling a tug against my crotch. “That’s not my name.”