That Piece About Gay Sex And Sexual Identity

g-stay5Originally published on blackgaymensblog.com, with the title ‘Sexuality and Identity: Does Gay Sex Make One Homosexual?’

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Personally, I do not believe that engaging in gay sex once makes a man (or woman) gay. I don’t believe sexuality is that clear cut – it all depends on the circumstances surrounding the sexual encounter. I am not suggesting homosexuality is a choice, but I think engaging in homosexual acts can be.

Let me make one thing clear, I am not talking about repetitive, on-going sexual encounters or referring to those men who might be in denial. I think that any man who has gay sex for a prolonged period of time, or has numerous male sexual partners is at the very least bisexual. Especially, if he does so when he has free access to women and the life of a loved one is not threatened. I think some gay men are too quick to want to label anyone who has had homosexual sex as gay or no longer straight. Sexuality is simply not that black and white – not all sexual encounters define one’s sexuality. The label “gay” is a western concept, and there are societies in which that label doesn’t exist and others where the gender of one’s sexual partners is not as big a deal as it might be here in the USA. In those societies, “gay” is not a political statement, and so I’m trying to look at things more broadly. We don’t have to agree, but we can respect and maybe learn from one another.

That being said, I have a few questions, which might challenge the notion that once a man has had homosexual sex, he is no longer straight: Continue reading

Much Ado About If The ‘Straight’ Guy Is Really Gay

So yesterday, a couple of friends brought to my attention the hot mess storming its way on the Facebook Timeline of an acquaintance of mine. His name is Kukogho Iruesiri Samson, and he’s a celebrated poet, who is only just coming into his own celebrity. And he is a HUNK. Dude is quite good-looking and has a good body, the kind of physicalness that can induce some thirst in some hoes. 🙂

Apparently, some hoes have been getting thirsty and going after him. And sometime last year, I think, he got into a rage on Facebook and lambasted all those who think he’s gay and have been pursuing him. His protest was very loud and as you can imagine, his very many followers fell in behind him, decrying all the gay thirstiness. Lol. Continue reading

Let’s Discuss…About The Stereotypes We Perpetuate (Part 2)

Blog_Let's DiscussThere are several stereotypes that society labours under. And as it is with every particular community of people, the LGBT community suffers its share. But, as it has been plentifully pointed out in this blog, we are not without our own faults. Our sexuality does not save us from the common flaws the rest of humanity suffers. And so, we also tend to stereotype other people based on their sexual natures.

This topic was actually prompted by a comment someone made on the post about the father who discovered his teenage son was gay and did all he could to ensure that his son realizes that he accepts him just as he is. It is noteworthy that the father admitted to having once had sexual relations in the past.

Now, I’m not disparaging anyone, certainly not the commenter whose comment I’m about to bring up. This is entirely for the sake of educating us. His comment goes thus: ‘But the father is gay, that’s why he accepted the boy the way he did. That he stopped fucking men doesn’t make him straight.’ Continue reading