JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 35)

Blog_James' JournalApril 18

It’s a bit annoying how you mention going out with a friend to have a good time to someone else, and they ask if you guys fucked. And I’m like, ‘No! We didn’t fuck! Yes I have a sex life, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to get into the pants of anything that moves.’ It’s even more annoying when they go along the lines of “But he’s a guy na, and you’re a guy, and he’s gay…” You’ve basically reduced my gay life to being just all about sex.

Some people you just cross the bridge of not having sex and becoming very wonderful friends. Of course, when you’re drunk or something, it might happen. But it’s not part of your plan for your relationship with them. You’re not friends with benefits. You’re just friends. I’ve got people like that, people that are just friends. I might have initially found one or two of them attractive, but as time went on, they just became like brothers (or sisters, Lol) to me. Continue reading

Those Awkward Moments (Episode 3)

Blog_Those Awkward MomentsPreviously On THOSE AWKWARD MOMENTS: Two weeks after the whole cinema debacle, Jude visits Kevin’s house and kinda sorta confesses his feelings for him. But everything goes south when some armed robbers attack. And guess who saw it fit to out himself to a homophobic thug with a gun – JUDE!

And that’s pretty much all that happened in Episode Two. Oh yeah! And two shots were fired…

*

With everything that had just happened, all my damaged mind could do was wander back to October 9th, 2011. This was the first time I attended a traditional wedding, and I was just 18. I didn’t really know the couple, but my mum did. Why she thought to take me – her dainty, ajebo son – and not the other three girls she had was a mystery to me.

I wasn’t having any fun. The MC was trying too hard and failing, the bride’s makeup was too much to look at, the groom kept on frowning like the marriage was forced on him – and I certainly didn’t want to be reminded of something I may never have because of how I love.

I managed to sneak my Harry Potter novel into the celebration and sat far back so no one (especially Mummy Dearest) would notice me. But my plan must have failed because not more than ten minutes after I settled into my reading, I heard a boyish voice from behind me say, “Is it that boring?”

My spirit literally jumped out of my body in startle. And then, I turned back to look at the intruder. And boy, was I amazed. This guy looked like the definition of PERFECT – his eyes, his nose, his lips… Whoa Mama! Continue reading

APOLLO, A Story By Chimamanda Adichie

150413_r26361-877This piece of fiction, penned by acclaimed writer, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, was originally published on The New Yorker. A friend of mine read it and passed me the link with a scoffing “The main character, that Okenwa person, as a kid – he was so gay.” So, I read it. But I quite disagreed with my friend. In my opinion, the choices Okenwa made as a child may or may not have been driven by an unrecognized homosexuality.

But hey, if you haven’t already read it, here it is. Read and let us know your thoughts.

*

Twice a month, like a dutiful son, I visited my parents in Enugu, in their small over-furnished flat that grew dark in the afternoon. Retirement had changed them, shrunk them. They were in their late eighties, both small and mahogany-skinned, with a tendency to stoop. They seemed to look more and more alike, as though all the years together had made their features blend and bleed into one another. They even smelled alike—a menthol scent, from the green vial of Vicks VapoRub they passed to each other, carefully rubbing a little in their nostrils and on aching joints. When I arrived, I would find them either sitting out on the veranda overlooking the road or sunk into the living-room sofa, watching Animal Planet. They had a new, simple sense of wonder. They marveled at the wiliness of wolves, laughed at the cleverness of apes, and asked each other, “Ifukwa? Did you see that?” Continue reading

The Write-up About The Straight Man Who Fell In Love With His Best Friend

MenHuggingOnBenchInPark-850x400Originally published on mindbodygreen.com

I’ve always prided myself on being open. I’ll try any new therapy or modality or New Age idea — and, believe me, I’ve tried them all. I’ve done the self-work. I’ve “found myself.” I’ve even practiced my affirmations. I knew who I was, without a doubt.

That’s why I found myself in unfamiliar territory when I — the open guy, the “figured out” guy, the unquestionably straight guy — realized that I was in love with my best friend, a man. A man I had known for seven years. A man I had never before even thought of in a romantic way. But, there I was, in love.

Only it didn’t start out as love. See, two summers ago, I came down with a mysterious illness. Not the common cold kind. Not even the achy back kind. This was the kind where you vomit massive amounts of blood throughout the day. The kind where doctors pass you from specialist to specialist. The kind where you’re bent over in pain with tears in your eyes. Continue reading

KIZITO SPEAKS III

Blog_Kizito SpeaksThe way I break up is something else. If I don’t text you for a fortnight, hmm, just know it’s over between us. It’s either I’ve lost interest or an incident led to the silent treatment which in turn would lead to the silent death of our relationship. I get bored easily in relationships.

Chestnut’s words are true: ‘Twinks and Teenagers tend to fall in love with more than two persons for lots of naïve reasons. They be like: I love Max ‘cause he’s witty. Roy isn’t witty, but I love him ‘cause of his fashion sense. Remy is nothing like them; but he’s rich and he spends. You gotta love a guy who isn’t ‘Aka Gummish’. Ifreke is just too cute and sexy, he knows how to work with his tools; I love him. George is very smart and intelligent, I’m sapiosexual for this one. I love him. Ah, Henry is the sweet talker; he tells me what I need to hear. He cheers me up with his sweet words. I love him, too. Tayo has got me with his musical knowledge and talent; oh, and his voice is mesmerizing. I love him. Why, I love them all! And, they love me too.’

Yes. MR RIGHT. Continue reading

LOVE AND SEX IN THE CITY (Episode 33)

Blog_Love And Sex In The City 02The eight weeks that followed my coming out to my sister went speedily by, and I didn’t take much note of the passage, because nearly every day was full. It wasn’t long after that first day at the Pan Atlantic University, when I met Oscar, before I was done with my enrolment for the Business School course of Human Resource Management. Earlier on, Dotun had told me of a foreseeable future, when he’d climb up another rung on the corporate ladder of Fit Plus’ management, and because he’d be given the option of a recommendation, he would want me to take up his vacated position. And to be a better candidate, I needed better educational qualifications than my First Degree.

I settled into my renewed schooling with some disgruntlement. My classes were scheduled for Saturdays, and it was with some displeasure that I kissed goodbye all those extra hours I luxuriated in bed on Saturday mornings. Oscar helped some. He had more classes on different days of the week, including Saturdays, and we endeavoured to spend time together during the breaks we got from our lectures. His company was a welcome change from the tedium of my lessons. We got along very well, discovering new characteristics we shared in common; on some level, I realized he was filling a void left gaping by the distance between my friends and I. Our conflicting schedules were starting to get more frequent, and those very precious Sundays I now had left, I spent either lazing at home, or reconnecting with my boyfriend. Continue reading

BEFORE I DIE: 4 (There’s A Reason For Everything)

????????????????????????????????????????????????????“Undetectable viral load…”

It is all I can think about. I can’t get the words out of my head. Although the e-book has told me what undetectable viral load is, I am not quite satisfied. I want to know all I can about it. It’s like finally getting admission after writing jamb eight times. It’s like winning the visa lottery. You know that feeling you get when you come home and your newly-wedded wife tells you she’s pregnant? Aha! That’s it.

Wait, my readership are gay men (and women). So, of course, most of you don’t now or intend to know that feeling. lol

Anyway, I’m not trying to quantify life or anything of that sort. I just want you to feel what I felt, or at least have an idea. The situations I just mentioned all have one thing in common. Can you guess? You probably can’t, because you’re not standing where I am standing. Well, I will help you. They all have this in common. They all either give you the chance of having a better life or moulding one. In general, you get to live a better, happy life. Continue reading

LOVE AND SEX IN THE CITY (Episode 28)

Blog_Love And Sex In The City 02“You skanky bitch!”

“I know, right,” I said with a chuckle, missing the venom in Adebola’s voice and misreading good humour in his words.

“You scheming little bitch!” he said caustically.

This time, I didn’t miss it. My head snapped around to face him and my eyes narrowed. “I beg your pardon?” I said.

“You guys never have enough, do you?” Adebola seethed. “You just can’t respect boundaries, can you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Bryson is my friend! My friend! And it was that friendship you ruined when you trotted your ass, like the shameless slut you are, in his face!”

“Excuse me!” I snapped, feeling my temper ignite. “Who the hell are you calling a shameless slut? And speaking of that night, perhaps you’d like to tell us next that it is possible for a dude to force his ass down on someone else’s dick when he’s not consenting!”

“You guys just can’t learn to leave my associations alone!” Adebola roared. Continue reading

Dear KD: He Is My Best Friend, And He Hates That I’m Gay

blackmentalkingI have (had) a best friend, who I also happened to have a massive crush on. But in all the time of our friendship, I have managed to keep my attraction for him under wraps.

However, recently, driven by a need to be more of myself with him, I came out to him. His initial reaction was to understand. But that didn’t last very long. Below is the message he sent me, which broke my heart as I read it.

Him: Guy, see eh! I want you to do me a favour abeg… Dey on your own please. I really can’t pretend anymore, man. I can’t put up with you. I beg you in the name of God, stay on your own please, to avoid any complications. Thanks for your understanding. And please, don’t ever try to visit me again uninvited, because you might not like the outcome. That will be all for now.

Feeling shattered as I read this, I couldn’t stop myself from replying. Continue reading

BEFORE I DIE: 3 (Lean On Me)

????????????????????????????????????????????????????I am walking through the corridor and I notice something. Everyone is staring at me, and laughing. I keep my head down and walk on straight. I don’t want to make any eye contact with anyone. The laughs are getting louder. They are even pointing at me now.

Then a voice calls me from behind. I turn and gape. It is Trey Songz.

Trey: Hey Bobby.

He sounds as naughty as a busty blonde in skimpy nurse uniform.

I don’t make a sound. I am still shocked. I am just staring at him with my jaw slackened. He winks at me. He starts taking his shirt off, smiling the whole time. Then he then goes for his belt, he takes it out and holds it like a dominatrix’s whip. He lashes at the air with it twice. TAH! TAH!! And suddenly his pants fall off. He has on black briefs; the left and right sides are made with a net-like material, and the front side covering his big bulge is made of a nylon material. I don’t know where the music is suddenly coming from, but it is nasty.

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard… Damn right! It’s better than yours…Continue reading