Dear KD: I Wonder About Him

Blog_Dear KDSo this thought has been lingering on my mind for a while now, and it got triggered again when I saw a missed call a few nights ago. The missed call was from a really close family friend. He’s like a brother from another mother. This was a very small thing that got me thinking, not for the first time – what does this dude really want? Does he like me? Does he like me like me? Or is all this perseverance to remain close a result of the fact that both our families have been really beneficial to each other over the years?

Even though our families were close, me and him – we never really became close till very recently. We schooled in different states – different countries at some point – and then, there was the hustle to become independent. It was only after we sort of got settled in our individual lives that we reunited and got really close, despite the fact that we don’t live in the same city. But anytime I visit Abuja, I stay at his place, and he always ensured I had memorable visits; always such an attentive, generous host to me. Continue reading

Kiss And Tell (Entry 2)

Blog_Kiss And TellThe National Youth Service Corps is a period of serving one’s fatherland. Corpers are usually exhorted to be industrious in this service, making sure to be very dedicated in all you do, and endeavouring to bring satisfaction to both you and your community.

I simply LOVED serving my fatherland. I served him well.

I embarked on my NYSC in 2009; I was posted to Nassarawa State. My place of primary assignment was in a secondary school, and I was assigned to teach Biology to SS2 students. But then, I had my eye on one SS3 boy named Daniel. He got my attention by the sheer force of his size. The guy was the biggest in his set, a veritable hunk. He was nineteen then, but looked like a twenty-five-year-old in size. About 5″10 tall, broad shouldered, dark-skinned, with a large chest the size of a small football field. He was that kind of chocolate bar you just want to keep nibbling and biting and licking all day long. And he was also very respectable and down-to-earth. Continue reading

The +++ Journals: Entry IV

Blog_The +++ Journals 02“We are going on a road trip!”

Josh laughed. It felt good to hear his throaty chuckle after a long time. (For someone who I was constantly in communication with, a few days without speaking or chatting with him always seemed like an eternity)

“Road trip ke? Where we dey go?” Josh replied with a yawn.

“Egbeda,” I deadpanned.

Mumu!” he burst out with another laugh. “You have started throwing shade again ba, this early morning.”

“Haba! I am not throwing darkness of any sorts, oga. But really, anything beyond the Third Mainland Bridge is a road trip and I will not apologize for it!” I retorted.

“For your mind, you sef, you are forming Island Big Gehz, ba? You don’t even live in Old Ikoyi, Parkview or Phase 1 o! Your house and Epe, no difference. Dey there dey deceive yourself.”

I let out a hearty guffaw. It indeed felt good, talking to Josh. Continue reading

BEING BRUNO (Episode 2)

Blog_Being BrunoRead ‘Being Bruno’ Episode 1 HERE

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When you were fourteen, your mother got a job as an auxiliary nurse at a private hospital a stone throw away from your house. Your mom was ecstatic with the appointment, and when she started work, sometimes, she took you to the hospital and let you stay in the changing room while she worked.

That was where you were that day, the 27th of May, sitting in the lone plastic chair reading Dean R. Koontz’s Watchers, when a blur of movement outside the window caught your eye. You tore your mind from the thrilling story of the smart golden retriever to the window. At first, you don’t notice anything out of the ordinary, just the normal view of the windows into the second-storey apartment of the next building (you could practically see everything in the rooms, given how close together the houses stood, a something commonplace in Onitsha). And then, your eyes moved to the verandah where he stood. Continue reading

Questions Of The Heart

singles 34WRITER’S NOTE: This poem is dedicated to the moment I first ached to meet a hookup from Grindr, and to all those moments everyone reading this has desired that someone on the other side of the chatversation whom they’ve desired without meeting.

*

Why do I think of you?

Why do I wonder what you are up to?

Why do I care what goes on with you

When you and I have never met

Is this love or lust

Or loneliness crying out for a companion Continue reading

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 37)

Blog_James' JournalMay 15

Growing up, I think sex was one of the few uncomplicated things I knew. You were Top, Bottom, or Versatile. It really didn’t matter what you liked because it was all fun for the two parties involved, and if done right, both parties would go home quite content and happy with an afterglow. I bottomed quite happily for people because it was fun. I asked a few times if I could top (disrespectful child), and I was refused. Even by the so-called Versatiles. But oh well… I was a young one and they might have felt uncomfortable or something. I however patiently waited for my university days when, at least, I’d find even some of my age mates that we’d get to flip flop and stuff.

University has however shown me that many more unimportant things have come into defining sexual roles, making things unnecessarily complicated. I can’t even state my role comfortably without being told I should be Bottom and not Versatile. It was just some dude I met and maybe, because I wasn’t edgy or hard enough, he thought it meant I should only get it up the ass. I just smiled sheepishly at that. By the time I’m done dealing with him… Continue reading

RANTINGS OF A RANDOM (Gay) NIGERIAN (Entry 17)

Blog_Rantings Of A Random (GAY) NigerianDennis, why aren’t we dating?

I nearly choked on the pizza I was eating when she asked that question, all the while, staring me right into the eyes.

I was in Abuja for (yet) another wedding, and after the wedding, I decided to meet up with Jane, who is one of my oldest friends. She is one of the two women that I have a very strong friendship with, spanning several years. We have supported each other through so many things. Now the other girl knows about my sexuality and is totally cool with it, but I haven’t told Jane because I don’t think she can handle that information. In spite of her foreign education, Jane is very religious and constantly on an opium daze that clouds her perspective on a lot of issues. The other girl sef also told me not to tell her, at least not just yet.

So there we were, eating pizza and drinking coke, and she is asking me one of the questions of the century.

Jane:     I asked why we are not dating. My mom asked me that question the other day, if you and I are lovers, and I laughed her off. But then I took time to think about it and started wondering why I laughed it off.

I nearly blurted out that ‘Honey, we can’t date because I like men’, but I slapped my subconscious shut; one of those few moments when my head can overpower my tongue. Continue reading

Those Awkward Moments (Episode 5)

Blog_Those Awkward MomentsPreviously On THOSE AWKWARD MOMENTS: Jude’s antagonistic elder sister Janet blames Kevin for her brother’s accident and subsequent memory loss, and says she never wants to see him near Jude again. (That’s gotta hurt!) Kevin is so sad by all these events, that he breaks down and starts crying, with only Samuel left to console him.

And that’s pretty much it with Episode 4.

*

The days flew by surprisingly fast, and with ease. Before long, I was feeling better, snuggling up in my couch with a bag of extra salty Doritos Chip bag and watching reruns of Pretty Little Liars on TV.

Then I heard someone knock at the door, a lot like the way the robbers had done. To my amazement, I didn’t even feel an ounce of fear as I darted off to answer the door. I opened it and saw that it was Jude.

“Hey,” I said in the sexiest way possible. Something had to be wrong somewhere; I’d gone from awkward Kevin to thirsty flirt in a snap.

Jude must have loved the new me because he didn’t even greet back; he simply grabbed me and started kissing me, holding my ass a little too firmly. But I was too ‘in the zone’ to care.

Within seconds, we were in my room doing the nasty – I’m talking, fifty shades of grey nasty. We were sweating and grunting and grasping each other . . . Until I woke up. Continue reading

Those Awkward Moments (Episode 4)

Blog_Those Awkward MomentsPreviously On THOSE AWKWARD MOMENTS: Well, besides Jude being shot in the head and leg by thugs, and forgetting Kevin altogether… Nothing much happened.

*

I was too distraught to leave the hospital premises to locate any nearby business center, so I begged one of the nurses in the hospital to lend me her phone. When she did, I immediately called my friends, as well as Jude’s elder sister, Janet; she was his only living family member, and he lived with her and her second husband. (Remember how I predicted she wouldn’t last with that one who she was wedding the day I met Jude?) She screamed into the phone as I relayed the news to her, and broke out into a flurry of cusswords and rants, hurling them at me as though I was the one to blame for her brother’s predicament. She and I had never gotten along well in all the time I’d known Jude. I disliked her from that first day of her wedding, a feeling that intensified when she began to act resentful toward me, ever since she remarked on how ‘unmanly’ I was. Sometimes, I wondered how much she knew about my sexual orientation and about my closeness with Jude.

“As I said,” the doctor was saying several minutes later, when Janet was around, “the brain vessels are fine. It’s just an effect of the damage done to the left side of his brain. But honestly speaking, at the moment, there’s no way of knowing if the memory loss is going to be short-lived or long lasting. We’re looking at a period lapse of about five years.” Continue reading

LOVE AND SEX IN THE CITY (Episode 36)

Blog_Love And Sex In The City 02“You know you overreacted, right?” Dotun said.

“In hindsight, yes, I know that,” I replied, standing by the lone window in his office and looking out into the street. It was 4:30pm on Monday, and the afternoon light was slanting westward, casting the beginnings of the evening shadows in corners of the room.

“And when did you come into this hindsight?” He was teasing, and the remark drew a rueful smile from me. I’d just finished narrating the story of my fight yesterday with Bryson to him. I’d needed somebody to talk to, and he’d been a willing ear.

“I had most of yesterday, after I got home, to stew over our fight. Then I got sidetracked with family stuff and didn’t have time to dwell much on it. Then I went to bed, and by the time I woke up this morning, I found myself missing him.” I turned to face Dotun. “I believe I’m falling in love with him, and it scares me.”

“Why? Because of some flirty messages you saw a few guys send to him?”

“It’s not about the messages. It’s about the fact that he seemed to enjoy them.”

“But you said he didn’t respond in kind to them…”

“Yes,” I said. “He also didn’t let on that he was unavailable, that he has a boyfriend.” Continue reading