Questions Of The Heart

singles 34WRITER’S NOTE: This poem is dedicated to the moment I first ached to meet a hookup from Grindr, and to all those moments everyone reading this has desired that someone on the other side of the chatversation whom they’ve desired without meeting.

*

Why do I think of you?

Why do I wonder what you are up to?

Why do I care what goes on with you

When you and I have never met

Is this love or lust

Or loneliness crying out for a companion Continue reading

KIZITO SPEAKS V

Blog_Kizito SpeaksEver gotten to a point where the phrase “You are cute” has no effect whatsoever on you, where if feels like just any other phrase. In my case, it annoys me. I am good looking, I know. But hearing that compliment one too many times makes me sick. Gives me the feeling that the admirer just wants time in ‘my heaven’.

*

“Follow your heart but take your brain with you.” I stumbled on this quote from an Ex one time. And I thought, he couldn’t be more right. I mean, I should have known better.

My previous relationships drained me. I was so in it to please my partners, I thought less of myself. And it didn’t even pay. Heck, now, I come first in everything. “Me” should be number one priority. Family comes first before Bae sef. (If you get where I’m coming from)

*

Badoo is like the only hookup site I’m into. And it’s not so bad. I’ve met good people, ugly people, egocentric people, ignorant people, knuckle heads, bone heads, idiots, and far better/worse people through this app. Continue reading

RANTINGS OF A RANDOM (Gay) NIGERIAN (Entry 12)

Blog_Rantings Of A Random (GAY) NigerianMy landlord does not live in Port Harcourt, so he drops in and out of town, which works well for me, because the guy can like to hold you with political gist after a long day at work. He was a supporter of GEJ and with me being a Buharist, that ensured we were always on opposite sides of the coin. This man will jump out the moment you drive in and bring up one matter to argue over, even though you just got home and want to take a shower.

Anyways, I got home on this day and saw his car, so I knew he was around and I hurried inside before he would come out to hold me up to analyze the presidential elections. A few minutes later however, he sent someone to call me, and I groaned inwardly as I was not in the mood to argue. But he’s my landlord and old enough to be my father. So I went to answer him. Read our paraphrased conversation below. Continue reading

That Piece About The Shag-fish

man-before-and-after-roux-en-y-gastric-bypass-procedureI read the following write-up originally published on sagbachronicles.com, and I laughed so hard, even as I realized afresh that the gay community worldwide is basically just the same, with the same dynamics and plagued by the same afflictions. The non-fictional piece was penned by the Nigerian owner of the blog, keredim. You’d love it as I did, and you’d remember – as I did – your own examples. Do share with us in the comments section when you recall them. 🙂

*

Catfish.  A guy named Nev starts an online relationship with an attractive lady called Megan on Facebook. Feelings begin to develop between Nev and Megan. As a token of affection, Megan sends Nev mp3 song covers, which Nev subsequently discovers are performances from YouTube. This is just one of the many distortions from Megan which Nev discovers that prompts him to seek her out. Nev travels to Michigan from New York to meet Megan and confront her on these irregularities. It turns out when Nev arrives at her front door, she looks nothing like she does on her Facebook page. Nev is devastated.   After unpicking the tangled web of untruths, we discover “Megan” may or may not exist and the real name of the person behind the Facebook page is Angela – or is it? All the drama is filmed on camera by Nev’s brother and his buddy and made into a documentary.  This was aired and it became a critical and commercial success. Continue reading

The Naked Truck Driver

image2CHAPTER 1

It was with the most sudden of starts that I was rudely evicted from my blissful reverie at the exact moment where I was about to insert my inflamed member into the inviting and warm crural crevice of my dream bottom.

Shucks!

My bedside alarm clock said it was 5 A.M. But Mother’s voice shrieked even louder.

With justified indignation, I slapped the shrieking alarm and picked up my new iPhone. I tucked my morning wood away and zipped up my traveling bag.

Mother and her friend were already outside, where my brother was waiting to drive us to the motor park. We were travelling to Abuja for a wedding.

Traffic was horrible, and by the time we got to Lokoja that afternoon, we were stuck. No one knew the cause of the traffic jam, and there were no traffic controllers in sight. Stranded commuters got out and strolled by the roadside, expecting to spend the night underneath the stars.

I got out too, pinging madly and sending my friends snapshots of the standstill.

And that was when I saw him.

I struggled to believe my eyes. Continue reading