In this episode, NOSTRINGS joins up with Stephen Lovatt, a gay English Catholic and a writer of poetry, philosophy and theology, to discuss the subject “Speaking Out, Gaining Courage and Overcoming Fear”. This of course touches on issues concerning homosexuality in general, and as well logically differentiates between tolerance and acceptance. It also identifies and discusses reasons why the international community is refusing to sanction certain countries that has gone ahead to criminalize same sex relationships, and above all suggests possible approaches that one could adopt especially in the area of being able to speak up against discrimination as it concerns LGBTIQ persons.
The 21st of February was like every other Saturday morning. This meant I would probably wake up hung-over and foggy-brained from too much drinking the previous night. There would be a dull but persistent throb in my head, a dryness in my throat and sometimes a dark, often beautiful, but always naked body snuggled against mine. Or if I were less fortunate, I would have to deal it with an oblivious Josh who snored and threw himself carelessly from one end of the bed to another. So yeah, it was another typical Saturday. But it was just me in my bed this time. Hung-over. Naked. Alone.
Besides the overwhelming urge to pee and need to quench the dryness in my throat, the heat from the rising morning sun pushed me out of bed. I stumbled to the bathroom and did my business before opening my cabinet to get out some Panadol for the headache.
And there it was – the Home Kit. My nemesis was staring at me. Continue reading
I lay on the desk, and pulled him toward me. We began to take our uniforms off while kissing each other ferociously. As one hand began to reach for his ass, and the other reached for his dick, I started to feel a sharp gust of wind. I became a little confused, not because the classroom doesn’t get drafty, but because there was suddenly too much of the draft, as though the wind was being introduced into the classroom from outside. I opened my eyes from paradise to take in my surroundings, and the next thing I saw horrified me.
We were not in the classroom. We were outside it, tucked in a shadowy corner and very nearly naked. I started to reason that it would be okay, as my lover-to-be continued caressing me, seeing as it looked as though we were the early ones for afternoon prep.
I was about to shut my eyes again and give myself away to the pleasure of lovemaking when I heard it.
“What the fuck are you faggots doing?” Continue reading
I was arguing with a friend of mine just the other day. We were sitting out as a group, having drinks during the weekend. One of us was expecting a guy he met online who was supposed to come and join us. This would be the first time that they’d be meeting in person. The guy later arrived and I recognized him myself; tall, light-skinned, skinny, very girly and works in a bank. We’d met before but did not click; he had not seen the movies I had seen, nor had he read the books I had read. We had nothing in common, but today he was coming to meet with my friend. He joined our table, greeted everyone and the conversation continued. His host paid him very little attention and continued chatting away with us (clearly he did not like the guy physically), and I thought this was very rude.
The guy, having reading the hand writing on the wall, made some excuses and left less than an hour after he arrived. As soon as he left, I attacked Tayo (not real name), telling him that he was a prick for disrespecting someone who left this house, and spent his time to come and see him. He asked if I expected him to go home with a flaming queen and finally give strength to his neighbors’ suspicions. I told him that he should have at least paid the guy some attention, he did not have to go home with him. He hauled abuse at me too and tempers rose till we were shouting at the top of our voices. Continue reading
Since I moved outside Nigeria, I have been either too busy or uninterested to hook up with anybody. Contrary to what all my friends believe, I am not exactly having the ultimate sexual experience. I am either caught up with school, work or some activity (cue in church).
Recently, a friend suggested I download Grindr, and after much contemplation, I did. The place was just filled with freaks, and just when I was about to uninstall the app while I was at the gym, I got messaged by some good looking brother. We chatted a little and after a while, we exchanged numbers and I progressed to uninstall the Grindr app. Continue reading
The anonymous family man’s chosen handle should be enough to tell where this story is headed — “not-gay-throwaway.”
So how exactly did he “fuck up?”
“I have back problems. Once and a while it gets really bad and sometimes the only way to relieve my pain is by using a Jacuzzi. I don’t own one. It was really killing me today. So I looked around for a spa with a Jacuzzi. I find one.”
Who doesn’t enjoy a nice rejuvenating soak? Innocent enough.
“Go in pay the money. Everything seems cool. Take off my clothes, put a towel around my waist, wash and get in the Jacuzzi. I’m feeling relaxed, and back is feeling much better. I decide to have a look around. There’s a sauna room. It’s completely dark, but I think, ‘Hey. I hate bright lights when I’m trying to relax.’”
You know who else hates bright lights? People hooking up in public spaces. Like a bathhouse. But OK, if he’s really as naive as he says he is, we’re going to give him the benefit of the doubt. Continue reading
So I just got back from work and was tired as fuck, but I decided to write this piece, one which is greatly influenced by the events that took place today.
It was 10 o’clock in the morning and I didn’t have much doing. Scrolling through my phone, I got a ping from a friend of mine, a very close acquaintance. He wanted to know if I’d be travelling home for Christmas, and my reply was that it was still under probability. He then cracked a joke about my parents bringing up the “marriage talk” when I get home. I gave him a ‘lol’ and he went on to say that it’s my biggest fear. I was quick to clear that up. For the record, my biggest fear is “getting old”, yeah I’m vain. I can’t think of anything like old age damaging my pristine, pretty face. The mere thought of it sends a cold chill down my spine.
So I went on to tell him I’m just annoyed about the marriage issue, not scared. And that’s how the long argument started. Continue reading
Fear. The underlying theme of my coming out story is fear. Fear of being discovered. Fear of being rejected. Fear of being unloved. Fear of hurting the people I love. Fear of facing my fears head-on, and then as a result, the fear of what would happen if I did.
I have always known I was different – gay – as early I can remember. From childhood, I have always been reserved, always playing with my drawing book and crayons (thank God for drawing skills). I remember my folks always asking me to go out and play and I’d sneak to the backyard instead; I was afraid that if I went out, “they” will find out. Nasty things happened as a result of that. Terrible thoughts, insomnia, suicide attempts, a nasty attitude and worst of all, I was afraid of myself. I felt like a mistake. Prayers were not working; the only thing working for me throughout secondary school was depression.
I got diagnosed with bipolar depression, and started taking some anti depression pills. And most times, I’ll OD on them with the hope that it will end my suffering. But well, the universe doesn’t make such things easy. Some people are born gay and they embrace it. The jigsaw puzzle just fits perfectly. It’s a part of them and they are proud of that, no matter what the world or anyone else tells them. That’s the way it should be for everyone! Unfortunately for me, growing up gay meant feeling isolated and alone. Continue reading