An Open Letter To Ageist Gay Men

This piece was originally published on Queerty.com

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Dear Ageist Gays,

George Bernard Shaw famously wrote “Youth is wasted on the young.” If you don’t understand what this means, then you likely fall into the category of either ignorant or “young,” which, for the sake of argument, is under the age of 25… OK, OK, 30, for those of you still clinging. But that’s the cutoff, even if you are 50 and describe yourself as a “boi” on your Adam4Adam profile. (More power to you, dude!)

A stubborn minority of gay men maintain ageist attitudes. In the eyes of many gay men, including, evidently, 40 is the new geriatric and 50 is the new dead.

BEFORE I DIE: FINAL EPISODE (Run Away)

I am thoughtless. I am just blank. I’m not angry. I’m not happy. I’m not depressed. I don’t know what I am feeling. I don’t even know what I feel towards Mum, but I know it isn’t a good feeling. It is that kind of feeling you don’t clearly understand, but somehow causes you to end up making bad choices, as long as they help you feel better.

How could she? I thought they understood me? Should I blame it on ignorance? Maybe she really doesn’t know what she is doing? Maybe it’s my fault in the first place? If I hadn’t gone and bagged me some HIV, this wouldn’t have happened.

I simply turn around, away from her, and return to my room to lie down. Whatever I am feeling however didn’t let me be. I’m not at rest, but I can’t place my hand on anything to be the reason. Nothing seems to matter. I plug in my ear phones and start listening to music. I don’t know if that helps, because I am still feeling those things.

‘Looking’ Star Russell Tovey And Those Comments About Effeminate Gay Men

On Sunday, Looking star Russell Tovey spoke to the UK’s The Guardian about his life, career, etc. In the interview, Tovey made some comments about presenting as more traditionally masculine that ruffled some feathers online.

“I feel like I could have been really effeminate, if I hadn’t gone to the school I went to,” said Tovey. “Where I felt like I had to toughen up. If I’d have been able to relax, prance around, sing in the street, I might be a different person now. I thank my dad for that, for not allowing me to go down that path. Because it’s probably given me the unique quality that people think I have.”

In response to the backlash that his comments received, Tovey took to Twitter to put out an apology of sorts.

Google Apologizes For ‘Accidentally’ Calling Gay People “Poofs,” “Pansies,” And “Homosexualists”

Google is in trouble with the gays again. This time for offering offensive suggestions for the word “gay” on its translation tool.

Google Translate works sort of like a thesaurus. A person types in a word and the software pulls up suggested translations for that word. It’s a handy little tool, especially for high school students struggling with their French homework.

However, a number of users noticed that the software gives a number of offensive homophobic terms when trying to translate the word “gay.” Some of the terms include poof, queen, faggot, and fag, as well as fairy, queen, sodomite, pansy boy, and homosexualist. (I couldn’t help but chuckle at that last one. Sorta like those who use the term ‘gayism’)

Naturally, an online petition was created demanding Google remove all antigay words from its Google Translate software. So far, the petition has garnered more than 50,000 signatures from homosexualists and their allies.

F – A – T

“You are fat!”

Those are about the most horrible words you can use on a gay guy. It doesn’t matter how thick your skin is, those words cut through your skin like hot knife through butter. In today’s world, being called fat simply means you are undesirable, not good enough or simply Urgh! I should know. I have been called fat several times. And each time doesn’t hurt less than the last.

If you think that in a world where we are all fighting for acceptance and tolerance, that our species will be a little kinder with one another, you would be wrong. The gay standards for desirability are set at far ridiculous levels. Little wonder most gays keep claiming loneliness and are perpetually in the market for the next hottest thing. To be more candid, it’s almost like we are in love with body parts not people.

A WORD FROM THE ADMIN

I know that Freedom Of Expression is a very valuable and catchpenny commodity in modern society, something the press and media hold dear and social media trolls revel in. And this post wouldn’t exist if that was all I had to talk about, because Kito Diaries has proven to be the home of everyone freely expressing their opinions, bandying them about and sometimes attempting to shove them down other people’s throats. All that I don’t mind. Oftentimes, these opinions have been marinated in cusswords and distasteful language. It’s a struggle, but I have made my peace with that too. It is something I’m after all guilty of.

But there is a line I want to draw.

Kito Diaries may be a hot bed of controversy, but it is what it is today because of the willingness of KDians to tell their stories and share them for the readership, delight, commiseration and admonishment of others. People who pen down write-ups, whether fiction, nonfiction or opinion pieces, know to expect either overwhelming support and pathos from the readers, or intense backlash for having something unpopular to say. And those who go ahead to write, in spite of the Big Bad Wolf known as KD commenters, are commendable. I know of some people who are still mining courage from within themselves to tell their stories, unsure what reaction to expect.

And indeed, all reaction is acceptable; freedom of expression is after all everyone’s precious toy to play with, right?

Comedy Skit: The Office Homophobe

I’m pretty sure I’m a LASTMA on this, but someone sent me a YouTube link and by so doing, introduced me to the world of Key & Peele. I have been catching up and laughing at their antics.

Here’s one about the homophobe in the workplace. There’s an undertone of stereotyping in this skit. Watch and enjoy.

MY RIGHTS, HIS RIGHTS

I’ve read a lot of Kito stories on this blog to know that some human beings are scum. The last Kito story particularly gave me chills, and I contacted a friend to discuss it, because I couldn’t fathom how that was possible. Your own ‘Kind’ actually being the architect of your misfortune? It seemed hard to accept. My friend said a lot of things, including the one that stuck: “Human beings are scum.”

I like to think he is wrong but deep down I know he is right. We are scum, because we choose to be. We are scum because we fail to treat each other right. We are scum because we don’t see where our right ends and the other begins. The comments section of that last Kito story however gave me hope; hope that there is a way, maybe just a little keyhole of a way, but a way nonetheless.

KNOW YOUR RIGHTS! It’s simple and hard at the same time. First of all, here are your BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS as stipulated by the United Nations:

Gay Law Student Puts Ex-gay Therapist In His Place

This, you guys have to read. Stories don’t usually start with, “Harvard University outed me.” This one does. When Scott Blair took the LSATs and checked a box on his Harvard application that he was gay, the university gay law student group called his mother’s house. She asked the reason for the call, and they told her, “Well, he’s gay and applied and we’d really like him to come.”

Below is an account of what transpired in the aftermath of his application by the gay law student, Scott Blair. Read and enjoy.

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My name is Scott Blair.

I’m from Ocean Grove, New Jersey. When you apply to law school these days, you can actually mark on your application if you are openly gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. And, you know, I put that down, because I figured, why not? I was. And I did pretty well on the LSAT and this information goes out to a bunch of law schools. And so Harvard’s gay law students group called my mother’s house because that was my address, and said, “We want to talk to Scott Blair.”

And she said, “Why?”

“Well, he’s gay. We know he’s applying to law school. We really want him to go to Harvard.”

And so we’re in the car at one point, and she goes, “Scott, I got this call from Harvard Law’s gay student group saying you were gay.”

Ten Things HIV-Positive Guys Want Negative Guys To Know

Originally published on queerty.com

When Donald Sterling dissed Magic Johnson for being promiscuous and unworthy, it was nothing new for people living with HIV. They’ve heard it all over the years. A lot of those misconceptions persist today, even (or maybe especially) among gay men. Our attitudes can be hurtful, stigmatizing, and even contradictory.

Let’s give HIV-positive gay men the chance to set the record straight, and break down ten things they would like the rest of us to know, based on research by Queerty writer Mark S. King. This list may not represent the views of every positive guy, but they definitely echo many of their most common frustrations.

1. All positive guys are not barebacking drug addicts

It’s probably human nature to try and find fault in the actions of those becoming infected. If we see them as extremists, it helps the rest of us feel more secure in our own choices.

And yet the truth is that the majority of new infections occur within “primary relationships,” such as a lover or boyfriend, and usually because one partner did not know he was infected and then transmitted HIV to his partner. That’s why there’s such intense focus on getting tested and doing it regularly. New infections are typically not the result of some insane night at a meth-fueled sex party or a boozy night at the baths. It happens, sure, but that doesn’t make good ‘ol fashioned sex any safer. Leather or lace, it’s all the same to HIV.