Questions Of The Heart

singles 34WRITER’S NOTE: This poem is dedicated to the moment I first ached to meet a hookup from Grindr, and to all those moments everyone reading this has desired that someone on the other side of the chatversation whom they’ve desired without meeting.

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Why do I think of you?

Why do I wonder what you are up to?

Why do I care what goes on with you

When you and I have never met

Is this love or lust

Or loneliness crying out for a companion Continue reading

LAST WORDS

heartbreakHere I am, writing down my emotions, because I’d rather do that than speak a word about what I’m feeling. Recently I don’t even know what I feel.

I dated a man. He was strong, handsome, unique, interesting. He also had a baby mama, who he says is alright with his bisexuality. I guess she was, until I came into the picture.

He introduced me to her when he and I first started dating. She smiled at me and said hi. She shook my hand, and then we danced together. It was a party, and her friends were there too. They kept staring at me and talking amongst themselves. I wasn’t comfortable with that, being the new boyfriend suffering the distant dissection of my beau’s ex female love interest. But it was a party. So I kept on drinking and dancing.

And then, as I got comfortable in my relationship, she got less comfortable with me being around. There was drama. There was hate. And there were children involved. It broke my heart that she was using their children as a weapon to drive a wedge in between me and my beau. The entire brewing mess affected me in ways I thought wasn’t possible. I wanted the best for my man as much as I wanted him with me, but then I loved the way his eyes shone when he talked about his kids. Before the drama. Before the mess. Continue reading

Dear KD: I’m Caught Between My Fear And My Desire

blackmentalkingSince I moved outside Nigeria, I have been either too busy or uninterested to hook up with anybody. Contrary to what all my friends believe, I am not exactly having the ultimate sexual experience. I am either caught up with school, work or some activity (cue in church).

Recently, a friend suggested I download Grindr, and after much contemplation, I did. The place was just filled with freaks, and just when I was about to uninstall the app while I was at the gym, I got messaged by some good looking brother. We chatted a little and after a while, we exchanged numbers and I progressed to uninstall the Grindr app. Continue reading

FLEETING DESIRE

med911021This is the debut piece of KDian, La-Coozee, a short work of fiction. Read and enjoy.

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At first, I thought him odd. The easy way he smiled, the breezy cologne he had on, the garish stripes on his shirt all contributed to my perception of him. And then, in a hoarse voice scented by Mentos, he turned to me in the bus and said, “I’m Fintan.”

In all the months of our relationship, months when we had hasty sex in my Obalende flat, months when he drove me to Shoprite in his vanilla-scented car, months when he cooked spaghetti garnished with Titus sardines for me, it did not occur to me to ask what his name meant, to ask him about the necessary things, to tell him my fears.

Perhaps that was why we broke up, or there were other things I would never be able to identify. Continue reading

THE OPEN LOVE LETTERS

Blog_Open Love Letters“How can a man love his fellow man?”

That was the question a heterosexual friend of mine asked me a couple of years ago, when in a fit of frustrated desire, I outed myself to him, in order to let him know I fancied him.

And when he blurted out that question, I rolled my eyes at him and corrected him: “I’m not in love with you. I just have a crush on you.”

And he amended: “Still… how can you have a crush on your fellow man? How can you desire a man like you? How can you want to get naked with someone whose body is hard and firm like yours, as opposed to a woman’s body which is soft and curvy?”

His was not the beginning of a homophobic rant, I could tell that from his expression. He looked genuinely befuddled, unable to comprehend the concept of an attraction between same sexes.

And indeed, really, how can that be? Continue reading

Much Ado About If The ‘Straight’ Guy Is Really Gay

So yesterday, a couple of friends brought to my attention the hot mess storming its way on the Facebook Timeline of an acquaintance of mine. His name is Kukogho Iruesiri Samson, and he’s a celebrated poet, who is only just coming into his own celebrity. And he is a HUNK. Dude is quite good-looking and has a good body, the kind of physicalness that can induce some thirst in some hoes. 🙂

Apparently, some hoes have been getting thirsty and going after him. And sometime last year, I think, he got into a rage on Facebook and lambasted all those who think he’s gay and have been pursuing him. His protest was very loud and as you can imagine, his very many followers fell in behind him, decrying all the gay thirstiness. Lol. Continue reading