JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 33)

April 3

*searches deep down into soul for something inspirational to write*

*finds out all the soul is thinking about is the big box of chocolates in the freezer*

Hello creatures of KD. I hail all of una… The Queen mother of dragons, the ever controversial Gad, the slightly venomous Max, Pinky the demon who thrives on controversy, my new friend Mitch, everyone else I can’t mention, and the ghosts who show up to read and not say squat for fear of being destroyed by our sharp-tongued brethren. Why don’t y’all take a chance and comment today? Hope y’all had a lovely month-end weekend. Scratch that – can’t bear the thought that your weekends were better than mine, because nobody else deserves to be happy unless I’m happy.

This past weekend has been one heck of a ride, and I was taken back approximately four years ago when on Friday, my mum asked me the question again: “Are you still gay?”

I knew she knew the answer, so I didn’t bother lying. She then said she wanted me to go see a pastor. She said he’s a man of God gifted with prayers and etc. I agreed. Last time something like this was brought up, I disagreed. This time however, I agreed because I’m supposed to honour my parents.

Viral Video Sensation Andrew Caldwell Admits “I Still Have Desires” For ‘Mens’

You may remember Andrew Caldwell from the viral video released last November in which he testified before a roomful of hundreds people that he had been delivered from homosexuality.

“I’m not gay no more!” the 21-year-old hollered over a gospel choir. “I am delivered! I DON’T LIKE MENS NO MORE!”

Now, the 21-year-old deliveree says he’d like to put that whole embarrassing incident behind him.

“I did not want to go viral,” Caldwell said in a new interview with NBC12. “I did not expect that to go viral. I did not want to get up there and just say anything and look crazy in front of thousands of people. I went up there because I needed prayer that day. I needed so much prayer.”

Caldwell says that his bombastic response was the result of feeling pressured by others on stage. He claims that the person who spoke right before him called gay people “sissies” and suggested they should “bleed from their butts.”

“They think that they can preach the homosexuals away in the Church of God in Christ,” said Caldwell. “And you can’t.”

“To My Doubting Detractors, I Pray For You.” Man Who Says He Was Delivered From Being Gay In Viral Video Speaks Out

All week, people have been talking about the video of a young man standing at the altar in church, saying that he was delivered from homosexuality. At the recent Church of God In Christ (COGIC) convocation event last week, the COGIC’s 107th, the young man walked to the altar and asked to share his story in front of the congregation. The 21-year-old’s testimony went viral and caused a great deal of controversy, and now, that young man is speaking out about everything. His name is Andrew Caldwell, and he recently posted a statement on his Facebook page sharing some of his back-story (and promoting his books…yes, he’s an author). He let people know what drove him to the altar during that convocation, as well as how he’s dealing with all the attention.

“My name is Andrew Caldwell. I appeared on a video at the recent Church of God In Christ International Convocation in St Louis. On that video I gave a testimony of deliverance from homosexuality. As a child, I was raped by a member of my own family. At that time I did not think of it as abuse. I kind of enjoyed it. I kept it to myself, not realizing how it had changed me. Growing up wasn’t a pleasant experience. I was harassed, heckled, and ridiculed by classmates. Many told me that I would never amount to anything. This gave me the motivation to try to prove them wrong. Being fairly attractive as a young man, it was not difficult for me to get involved with other men. I have dated athletes, ministers, and celebrities. As time passed I got tired of this way of living. I always attended church. But I always found the same things in church that I found in the world. After joining my present church, it came to me that this lifestyle was not right. It seemed that the more I tried to quit on my own, the more intense was the temptation. All last week I fasted and prayed. On this past Saturday at the Convocation, there was an altar call. I came forward and offered my testimony. It was unscripted. Not only do I hope for my own deliverance but for the deliverance of others who may be struggling with their own issues. To my doubting detractors, I pray for you. To my supporters, I am grateful for your support and prayers.”

Caldwell also did an interview with the blog show Church Folk Revolution Radio, and calling it interesting would be an understatement. Here are the points that really stood out (FYI: how you read his comments are exactly how he said them):

Why Is It So Hard To Be Gay?

i-D Vice, one of London’s top fashion websites, released an article asking “why is it so hard to be gay and black”. They discussed about American musician Frank Ocean and CNN journalist Don Lemon, as well as a Nigerian.

A London based Nigerian journalist, who used the pseudonym Adejola Funmi, shared his experience coming out. Funmi was expelled from his Christian school for being homosexual; it was labeled not ‘Christ like.’ He was later sent to Nigeria, so they could “cast the gayness out”.

Adejola traveled from church to church for deliverance. He shares: “I slept in church for about three days, during that time prayer warriors came around me and were praying… they didn’t give me any food and they’d whip me with branches of palm trees. They were whipping me to cast the gayness out of me.”

To also cure his homosexuality and cast out demons, he was stripped naked and bathed in a river by the church, forced to drink snail water and lick grounded charcoal.

“One should no more deplore homosexuality than left-handedness,” he concluded.

For the full article titled ‘Why is it so hard to reconcile being both black and gay?’ originally published on i-D Vice, read below.