JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 18)

Blog_KD JournalOctober 24

So Lexi is here. Whoop, whoop! It’s been awesome having him here. The gossip, the name calling, the dancing, everything has just been great. When I told a friend that I was having a friend over for the weekend, he asked why it would be so much fun if sex won’t be involved. I was irritated by that comment. But oh well…

Lexi and I were watching Orange Is The New Black, and its quite funny. Oyibo prison sef *rolls eyes to China* We got introduced to the transgender guy, and Lexi came face to face with feeling uncomfortable with the way someone can make the decision to live his life in his own terms, however unpopular that lifestyle may be. Lexi didn’t see why a man would want to become a woman. And it irritated him. And then, he realised that that’s how straight fellows must see being gay to be. But he did however try to understand. Which is the most we can say, since some of us feel like our opinions are final, and if you are of a different mindset, then you are on the wrong track. Continue reading

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 17)

Blog_KD JournalOctober 11

I don’t handle conflict well. So I tend to avoid it. I don’t like to voice out my opinions, except in cases I stand strongly for, such as discrimination of feminine peeps and what’s for breakfast at home. Otherwise, I just stand by the sidelines and watch the banter. I’m not sure if it’s cowardly of me to do so, but I firmly believe that if you have nothing good to say, then you don’t have to say anything at all.

The few times I have gotten myself involved in conflict of ideas or thoughts and whatnot, I overdid it. I overdo a lot of things because my emotions just seem to run like crazy and I become impulsive and I might say things I should have thought about before saying, or things I’d regret. So, I’d rather keep my opinions to myself. They are after all mine and not yours, so there’s no need to share. If however I see some valid points raised by the opposition, I don’t hesitate to silently reform my opinion.

When I see someone I like or would love to become friends with, I go after them. I swallow what pride I have (I don’t think it’s much) and do my best to befriend them. Not because I’m in desperate need of love and attention. No *insert nervous laugh here* but because their lives would be so much better with me in it. Lol. Continue reading

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 16)

Blog_KD JournalOctober 3

Home has been fun and relaxing. Until today. Today, I have to mow the lawn, sweep and mop the floor (thanks to the recent paint job to the house), and then wash bathrooms. It doesn’t help that I’m like the only young person in the house. You know parents nah – call me from the room to get the remote in front of them. Well that’s mostly my dad. My mum likes to do things herself and could be quite the perfectionist. Last night, there were dishes in the sink and I pleaded with her to just go to bed because the dishes wouldn’t run away. They could be washed in the morning. But nooooooo. She just had to. And sleepy ole me couldn’t just leave her to do the dishes herself, so I got the job of rinsing. I swear, that woman! I’m sure if she had a heart attack and there were dishes in the sink, she would first do the dishes before calling an ambulance. Continue reading

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 14)

Blog_KD JournalSeptember 12

The first paper was good. Not really a surprise. I did study for the tests on each lecturer’s subject. I’m glad. However I have to face gross anatomy now, and not just your ordinary gross anatomy… This one is comparative gross anatomy, where I distinguish between the liver of a horse and that of a pig. I need to know the colour and number of lobules and other stuff I’d rather not bore you with. I keep staring at my notes and I feel so hopeless about it, hopeless enough to take a nap. Lol. I won’t take a nap because that would be foolishness. It’s my fault I’m not really prepared for the exam so I just have to suck it up and do whatever it is I can do, and pray to the high heavens that some weird miracle will happen. This is the point where I say I will never be unserious again, but er…we all know that’s never gon happen. Let me go and cram some notes.

During a study break on Tuesday, I remembered the horror with which most of y’all took my frequent tugging of my meat. So I decided to check out if there was something I should be worried about. Quite frankly, I couldn’t come up with anything. The problem lies when it interferes with your work and your performance in bed, and with a recent encounter, my performance in bed was quite good… and I had wanked the day before. Continue reading

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 13)

Blog_KD JournalSeptember 6

I’ve decided to write about the mundane things that happened to me this week. Now would be a good time to check out the other posts Pinky has for us this fine Sunday morning, if you aren’t interested.

I stayed in my room all Monday. I had classes but there was no point going anymore. Exams start this Monday and I’ve still got so much to cover. I’m one of those lazy students who chill till like it’s a week or two before studying intensively. Thank goodness for tests; if not, my head would be full of air. I don’t listen in class. I spend my time drawing random stuff at the back of my notebook or wondering what it would be like if I found out a lecturer was gay. Could I seduce him to give me extra marks? We could even date sef. I know a few of my Biochem and Physio teachers who are hella cute. Just random stuff like that. I’m sure the medicine people out here are bristling with indignation that a student of such a profession could be so unserious but I’ve not failed (yet) and this method has been working for me… So *sips Pina Colada* Continue reading

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 12)

Blog_KD JournalAugust 29

James just dodged a bullet. Lol.

Hello, my fabulous people of Kito Diaries. I’m back… briefly. I’m sure some of you were glad that the stench of my ramblings weren’t around to spoil your Sunday mornings, but it’s gon’ take a lot more to stop this unicorn from writing.

I’ve been busy as hell. This course is not easy. To make matters worse, they bombard me with tests almost every day. When I get home, I will discuss dropping out with my dad so I can pursue the things that really interest me, which are hot guys and gaming consoles. (Kidding…) But seriously I think my creative talent is being wasted in trying to be someone who is going to be in a lab coat and surgical mask for the rest of his life. Let me learn to sew, sing like them divas and write like Pinky and Rapu’m. I’m sure I’d feel much more fulfilled.

Now, about that bullet… Maybe I was being a tad bit too dramatic. *smoothens out trousers* But I’m gay, and drama is in me blood. I avoid it as often as I can, but once in a while, there’s always time to let out a storm and make mountains out of molehills. You know, keep in touch with that inner bitchiness.

You will sha decide if it’s much of a big deal on your own. Now, on to my story… Continue reading

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 11)

Blog_KD JournalAugust 9

I’m having a moment. One of those moments where I feel like I’m bursting with so much creativity and ideas, and I can pick up a pen to write or to draw or write a short sad poem and sing. Moments like that are magical. However, I also get scared in these moments, because I know what comes after. Depression. I go back to my work and I feel like all I’ve done is crap. But until I reach that point, I’ll just enjoy this feeling for now.

I had an interesting Monday night and Tuesday morning. It was 11pm and I saw a Facebook post of my recent ex, Duke. He had said hi to me on Whatsapp a few weeks back, so I decided to return the favour. I’ve never been one to remain jolly friends with an ex but I decided to try. I honestly wish I rebuked the spirit of that urged me to say hello.

He was ecstatic to hear from me. He was in town on some engagement and wanted to know if he could stay at my place. I agreed.

Why did I agree? Maybe I did miss him a little and wanted to see if we could be friends. He did have interesting things to say sometimes. He got to my place around 11:30, and that was when the drama began. It was almost spontaneous. Continue reading

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 10)

Blog_KD JournalJuly 31

There’s something a couple of my exes have said that I think is total bullshit. It’s not in my nature to be jealous.

Like I said – Bullshit! Why? For heaven’s sake, even God who is True Love is a jealous God.  If a heavenly Being Who represents all that is true and good about love can be jealous, then why not imperfect humans like us?

If we are dating and you cannot be jealous, when you feel like I’m spending what you think is too much time with someone else, or feel a bit uneasy when someone is flirting with me, then I don’t think your love runs so deep.

In fact, I’d like you to show jealousy once in a while. It makes me realise you’re scared of losing me, and that’s a wonderful feeling, and I often respond by reminding you in different ways that you are my bf and stuff.

However there’s overdoing it – when it gets to borderline clingy and insecure. It’s not a good look and it will chase me away from you faster than you can say “bazinga”. Continue reading

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 9)

Blog_KD JournalJuly 26

I went to get myself tested for HIV. I told some people this and was surprised when they said “Why?” By people I mean my gay friends and acquaintances. First of all, why not? Secondly, things may be worse than I thought when it comes to being responsible. The fact that there has to be a reason to go get yourself checked apart from the reason of “it’s a duty I owe to myself” is a bit appalling. Honestly I don’t think you need to have unprotected sex before you check for HIV. Or doesn’t anyone remember that you can get it in other ways besides sex? At least, do it once a year if you’re the most careful of people, because you can never be too sure.

However there was a reason I went to check. I had unprotected sex about three months ago, and a condom tore around that time. Honestly, the idea of “no condom” seemed exciting at the time, but the months of worry and anxiety that followed was not beans. I’d fall sick and begin to wonder, or I’d read all the HIV propaganda and my heart would beat fast. I don’t think a few minutes of pleasure is worth a few months of worry. I’m going to buy packs of durex as soon as I have extra money to waste… I don’t want excuses for next time. I normally avoid asking people I’m chatting with or interested in whether they use condoms because I think the talk of condoms and STIs is unsexy, but to avoid things getting out of hand, I’ll also have to start doing that. Better to cut things short before we reach the bedroom and testosterone clouds my judgment. Continue reading

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 8)

Blog_KD JournalJuly 16

The past two weeks have been crazy hectic. I’ve had to study because it’s that time of the semester where tests pop up unexpectedly and I wonder what spirit made me go pick the course I’m doing.

My libido seems to be suffering for it, which is unusual considering the fact that I am more often than not up for sex. I have wanked more than five times in one day on more than one occasion (it was during strike, don’t blame me). But now the thought of sex is like “naaah.”

I still wank when I feel like, but I don’t want to be with other people sexually. I want to be selfish and think of myself. I could go top somebody but I find it hard being the selfish top (I want to come when I feel like and more often than not, it’s early. But I’m usually ready for rounds 2 and 3 in a jiffy). And most Nigerian tops are rather selfish and just think that the fact that they are ramming in and out of your ass means you’re enjoying it, so I’d rather not bottom anytime soon.

Speaking of selfish tops, Ash, my best friend of five years lives in America now, and he tells me of his sexcapades and how the tops do everything in their power to make the bottom happy. I envy the mofo. I just hope he’s playing safe sha. Continue reading