No Strings With Mike Daemon: The Teflondon Interview

TeflondonPosterFOREWORD: Ok, so I captioned it that way so y’all will know that this episode of No Strings has a KDian on the hot seat 🙂 (Hi, Tef) Check on it below and BE NICE.

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In this episode, NOSTRINGS talks with Teflondon (not real name), a Nigerian gay man who got dramatically outed by his then lover, following a series of trouble, even involving the police. Consequent to this was his apprehension and lock-up by the police, and upon his bail, the distrust of his family.

Ever since then, he has been doing his best to deal with his own personal issues and to find his balance again, and as well trying to understand life from a whole new different perspective.

NOSTRINGS had the privilege of talking to this young man, as he details his struggles and challenges and takes us deep into his life and how he now deals with his family’s constant pressure to change.

To have a listen, click to DOWNLOAD or STREAM LIVE

HIS COMING OUT STORY (It’s A Family Affair Too)

Happy black family togetherAs I lay on my bed early that April, my heart raced as I pondered over what may have transpired the previous night. I was left all alone in the sitting room as my mum and siblings held a discussion in the bedroom. This was quite unusual as we normally had our discussions together. The hushed tone of their conversation was far from comforting. Somehow, I knew I was the topic of their discussion.

Months prior to that time, I made the tough decision of telling my mother of my sexuality. She didn’t yell or wail, as I had imagined. Instead, she calmly told me that it was good I told her and even blamed me for not telling her earlier. She said everything was going to be fine. I blinked in disbelief as I heard her words. It sounded too good to be true –indeed, it was. Continue reading

HIS COMING OUT STORY (Edition 4)

g-stay7Truth be told, I never once believed I would ever tell this story because every bit of it hurts me daily. But here goes.

My name is Mitch and I am gay. I was born the only son and the second and last child in my family, and was raised in a Christian home where life and everything else we did revolved around God, the Bible and perfection. Having perfectionist parents didn’t help matters much as all of our daily activities as kids were modeled and maintained religiously by our parents. We had strict schedules which very rarely included TV. On the rare occasions when we watched TV, it usually was to watch Christian kid movies such as the Do-nut Man series, Psalty the singing songbook, or Mother Goose. It was on one of these rare occasions that I had a glimpse of the existence of a major part of myself.

I was four at the time and my entire family was watching one of the Do-nut Man movies, when I felt this intense attraction for a black boy in the movie. Not knowing what to do or make of the weirdness I felt, I began to cry (yeah, I can be sissy like that), thus drawing the attention of my parents. When they questioned me, I told them that seeing that kid made me feel lonely because I had no brother. That was truthfully, the only way I could explain what I felt at that moment. My dad accepted my explanation but I vividly remember my Mother giving me this odd look. Continue reading

HIS COMING OUT STORY (Edition 3)

coming-out-of-the-closet“I’m Gay.”

I finally dared to look up. I wasn’t sure what I saw those eyes. Could it be pain? Anger? Shock? I couldn’t define it. I looked back down at my feet. I just had my pedicure done and at the moment, it was the most beautiful thing I could stare at. It gave me joy and sudden hope that whatever the outcome, these beautiful feet would take me to a place where I can be me.

“Are you sure? Why didn’t you ever tell me?” The voice sounded so far and strangled, I couldn’t recognize it.

I looked up from my feet and met those eyes with a piercing gaze of my own. Why? You’re seriously asking that question? Really? Give me one good reason why I should have told you? You always had something hurting to say when the word ‘homosexual’ comes on the news or is randomly passed around by your club members during afternoon tea and some crumpets. Tell me how I could have said something to someone who has an agenda against us. TELL ME!

“What? What do you mean?” My words came choked up. Continue reading

Kenny Badmus Comes Out

Kenny BadmusThis is a mistake a lot of us make. We all want to change people to conform to our preferences. We find it easier to play god in the lives of people we did not make. – Kenny Badmus.

Such is the damage the expectations of society wreaks in the lives of men like brand expert, Kenny Badmus, pushing them to live lives that they did not bargain for.

You must all have already read or heard about Kenny Badmus’ coming out in a post on Facebook.

Read his post below:

When I first told my ex-wife that I was gay, we were far from being married. I wanted her to find other men honorably, who had a thing for women. I never did. I ‘swear down.’ I was only obeying the popular demand of traditions. Now, this was my terrible mistake. No one should live their life based on dogmas and other people’s expectations. As far as I could remember, even though I was always dating girls, I had always preferred being with a man. I had fought it with every fiber of spirituality in me as a Pentecostal preacher boy (find details and journeys in my book ‘THE EXODUS.’) The more I fought my sexual preference for men, the more I became more miserable. Unfortunately, as erroneously believed, sex wasn’t the problem. I had been having sex with women as far back as a twelve-year-old. Sexuality is whom we are emotionally present with, not whom we are sleeping with. And oh boy, she really tried to make me a heterosexual. But I’m still not, sadly. Continue reading

‘I’m gay. God loves me just the way I am.’ – Christian rock-star Vicky Beeching

vickybeeching2-620x421Written by Patrick Strudwick, originally published in independent.co.uk

There is no quicker, more effective way to destroy someone than to isolate them. Guards at Guantanamo Bay know this. Psychiatrists know this. Vicky Beeching, 35, British star of the American Christian rock scene, one of the most successful artists in US mega-churches and now one of the most sought-after religious commentators in Britain, knows this too.

There is also no better way to destroy a group of people than to ensure they do the job for you. And so, as Beeching’s story pours out on a hot afternoon – a story of psychological torture, life-threatening illness and unimaginable loneliness, imposed all around from a supposedly godly environment – one question fills the air: if shrinks, brutes and fascists know how best to devastate a person, does the Church of England? Or do they know not what they do? Continue reading

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 3)

Foreword (from the writer): Following the harsh criticisms of the previous entries on the James’ Journal, I would like to remind the readers that these entries are neither fiction nor the narration of particular salacious real life experiences. Instead, they are the musings of a twenty-something year-old male. Remember that, and try to be kinder the next time you want to drop your comments.

Blog_KD JournalApril 15

My mum found out I was attracted to men about three years ago. You know how women can do better jobs than FBI agents when they set their minds to do a bit of investigating. She happened to snoop around my phone and saw some texts and she called the number and a dude picked up. It’s more complicated than that but that’s another story.

She didn’t say anything about it for a while. Then one Sunday, at night, she called me into her room, asked me to shut the door and started to fire questions at me. Foolish me hadn’t deleted any of those texts and she asked me to call the number and put the call on loudspeaker. I felt so cornered and I was terrible at lying to her then. In the end, naive me admitted that I liked dudes… hoping it wouldn’t be as bad as I thought it might be. Continue reading