Remember Unoma, who wrote Internet Lover (Read HERE)… Well, she has sent in another piece for our reading delight, an extract from her upcoming memoir, Embracing My Shadow. Check on it.


Girl ChildI was hungry, but I came alive as soon as other students started gathering their notebooks, getting ready to dash out of the class. The bread and tea we had for breakfast didn’t seem to serve any purpose. I had hoped that whatever we were having for lunch would be rice and stew. In the refectory, food was divided according to tables, so five to six students per table and each table had a pot or two of garri and soup. Sometimes, the soup was too watery, and then the rice and beans had small pebbles in them. I had the responsibility of dividing up the food. Nobody appointed me but I volunteered as often as I wanted. Occasionally, some accused me of not doing a good job.

At one point one of the girls at the table, Amaka, who had a large head yelled at me, “Unoma, the fish in your plate is bigger than others.”

“Bigger how? I shared the fish equally.”

“No, yours is bigger!” she yelled.

I shoved my plate to her and snatched hers, but she pulled it back, spilling some of the Ogbono soup. I clenched my fist and glared at her. I didn’t want to get into trouble by fighting. Otherwise, I would have punched her big head. The rest of the girls at the table told me to calm down and to ignore her. Continue reading


6a00d8341c730253ef01910459cdba970c-500wiThe exam hall was quiet, peaceful and serene. Well, that was just the exam hall. I could see the anxiety and worry on almost all the faces I glimpsed. It was our second paper. Mathematics. I had almost not slept the night before; I made sure I was able to cover all the topics before sleeping. I was quite intelligent then, but Math was not so much my thing. I always had to study and study hard before I could correctly solve Math problems.

I looked across my seat to my far right and my eyes caught Umar’s. I knew that he wasn’t much of a book person, and he only read when he really had to. It was obvious that he hadn’t prepared well enough for the paper. Ibrahim’s seat was just three seats behind Umar’s. When he looked at me, he smiled and winked. I wondered if he was horny, because on a normal day, he wouldn’t even smile at me, let alone wink.

I faced my front when I noticed the invigilator approaching my seat with the exam papers, and my heart beat intensified as he got closer. He dropped one sheet on my desk and moved on. I flipped to the first page, and after going through the questions, my heart leaped for joy. Almost all of them were from the topics I had paid more attention to. I whispered a short prayer of thanks to God and descended on the questions. Continue reading


6a00d8341c730253ef01910459cdba970c-500wiI opened my eyes and the first thing they settled on was the big black head of my roommate, with his saliva drooping from his mouth as he took a deep breath, turned and stretched on the bed and continued snoring. I lifted my head from my pillow and put my hand under to pull my wristwatch out. I pressed the button and the light came on. 3:26 AM. I put the watch back and tried to go back to sleep. I couldn’t.

It had been two weeks since the incident with Umar. It was Ibrahim Abba who caught us; another hot Muslim boy that I had been crushing on since we were in SS1. I still feel my heart race whenever I think of that night. The shock on his face. His mouth agape. His eyebrows furrowed. Speechless, mostly from the fact, I suspect, that Umar, his Muslim brother, could be indulging in such an ‘evil’ act. He didn’t say anything thereafter; he just shook his head continuously and stalked out of the room.

All the thoughts of terror that could ever be thought were already in a queue, barraging my mind, one after the other. I didn’t even know which to focus on first. The reaction of my parents to the expulsion I would get when Ibrahim reports us? Or their reaction when they heard the reason for the expulsion? How would my juniors look at me when this news became public? How would my mates regard me? I was finished. I didn’t think my heart had ever beaten so fast before that evening.

Since Ibrahim hadn’t said anything before leaving the room, I didn’t even know if he was going to report us or not. I sat there on my bed and put my head in my hands. I couldn’t bear to look at Umar’s face, the guilt of how destroyed he’d surely look would have killed me. Continue reading


6a00d8341c730253ef01910459cdba970c-500wiI raised my head and our eyes met. His firm cheek bones elevated as he gave that beautiful smirk I’d been dreaming about all day. He mouthed some words but I could only make out ‘Calling you’. I was too deep in my entrancement to notice any other thing that was going on in the class. The thought of my lips and his – full, luscious and delicious – locking together again in a kiss made my erect cock throb. He was a Muslim . . . and we’ll call him Umar. He was my classmate and we’d been friends for just two terms; it wasn’t long before we became very fond of each other. We’d kissed, once. He was scared, but I wasn’t. That didn’t stop him from kissing me passionately for so long. By the time he ended the kiss, I couldn’t help it, I was hopelessly and utterly in love with him.

Just then, I thought I heard my name. It was faint but I was sure it was my name. Dreamland was however too interesting to leave just for a thought, so I sat there and kept on fantasizing… Well, until a ringing slap struck my cheeks and jerked me forcefully out of my fantasies.

“Fitzgerald! I just said you should go to the board and solve that equation!” the teacher bellowed.

That was when I remembered that I was in my Math class with Mr. Femi. Continue reading


photoshootThe weeks rolled into months which in turn rolled into years. Three years passed. I was now in my final year at the Marian Academy. I could hardly believe that in barely eight months, I would graduate and be ready to begin studies at the University. I could remember my first few weeks here and how much I’d hated the place with every fiber of my being. I could remember wishing some major catastrophe such as a terrorist attack or a bomb blast would strike the school and force its closure so that I could leave. Back then, I thought, anything was better than being trapped behind these high walls and being forced into a mind-numbing routine of strict discipline and monotonous repetitive prayers and hymn chanting.

All this changed after I hooked up with Roy and Alex. We had so much fun, and as the months went by, we managed to widen our ‘circle of fun’. Soon we were organizing regular twilight rendezvous with as many as seven or eight boys.

One particular boy was unforgettable. Continue reading


g2That’s a question that most guys ask each other in the first stages of their acquaintanceship. And it has been asked in every way conceivable.

How did you start?

How did you enter this game?

Have you always been like this . . .?

. . . Or did someone initiate you?

That last part always gets a good laugh out of me, because the question sags with cultic connotations. Just another way the society has intentionally or unwittingly influenced both its heterosexual and homosexual populace with the thinking that homosexuality is something dark and sinful.

But this piece isn’t one about the injustices of the society on the gay community. No, that’s the kind of heavy stuff I leave for folks like Absalom (lol). This write-up is about that question that acts as a conversation starter in most instances –

How did you start? Continue reading


photoshootAfter a 4 – hour drive, the last part of which was through bumpy rural roads, we arrived at the Marian Academy. It was a sprawling institution nestled in a backward, rural community surrounded by high walls and an imposing gate on which was inscribed “The Marian Academy For Boys (Est. 1954), Motto: Piety And Discipline.” I hated it at first sight and the thought that I would spend the next three months of the term studying here threatened to break me out in a new torrent of tears. I fought back the tears, climbed out of the car and went over to the waiting man while Isaac turned the car around and drove off.

“Hello, you must be Tobechi Eluwa, come with me, I am Father Eustacius, the Dean of Students Affairs.” He took me down to the Student Affairs office where I was stripped of my mufti and issued four sets of ugly uniforms, plates, cutlery, a bedside locker, cutlass and other boarding items.

He continued, “At the Marian Academy, discipline is very our major focus, next to prayer and piety…” As he talked, he led me to an overcrowded dormitory where I was assigned a bed with about fifty other students who stared at me curiously. I must have created quite an impression on them – the pampered soft looking city boy who had lived in a big house, and had servants and nice things. Continue reading


photoshootIt started shortly after my fifteenth birthday.

As usual, Mum and Dad, always looking for an excuse to throw some money around had thrown me a lavish birthday party. I had invited some of my friends from school and some of Mum and Dad’s friends were also present. One of Dad’s lawyer friends had just walked in with his son Bode. I first met Bode a few years back and each time I saw him, he seemed to get more handsome. He was about three years older, which would make him around about eighteen. He was now a freshman at the University of Benin. I really wanted to be his friend; I wanted to be around him all the time, sometimes I spent hours dreaming about what it would be like to live with him in the same house, waking up in the same house with him, watching the TV together in the evenings and all. I was so drawn to Bode; I just had to talk to him. On that day, I finally summoned up the courage. Bode was surprisingly easy to talk to and before long, we had become firm friends. We went to the mall together, to the movies, to parties. I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with him, looking at his handsome face out of the corner of my eyes as he drove or as we walked along. I cherished every moment with him and looked forward to our hangouts. I was surprised and a little bit shocked to realize that I felt a rush of pleasure when he informed me that his girlfriend Melvina was ill and would spend a whole month in the hospital and would thus be unavailable to “keep him away from me”. Bode and I were practically inseparable. Continue reading


Hello, guys, this is our very first series, brought to you by a brother whose a very good writer. We shall call him…erm, CeeCee. We’ll be posting episodes of it weekly. Enjoy. 😀



I turned the key in my bedside locker, took off my slippers and swung my feet onto the thin uncomfortable mattress. I tried to take my mind off the stifling heat and noises of at least 50 other boys in various stages of sleep. Some were muttering and snuffling in their sleep, some snored loudly and rhythmically while some grunted like pigs.

It was disgusting!

I hated this boarding school with every fiber of my soul and for the hundredth time that day, I wondered how I was going to survive till the end of the term – three long months! It just seemed like this place was designed with the worst corners of hell in mind.

My mind drifted back to events that occurred several months earlier in happier times before my idyllic existence had been rudely transformed and I had been transplanted to this despicable place. It was time for mid-term break, so I didn’t have to wake up at 6.30am for school. It was about 8am, and I was still twisted amongst my sheets enjoying the pleasure of sleep while overhead the split–unit a/c pumped out cool, filtered air. Mum tapped lightly on the door and walked in. Continue reading