Those Awkward Moments (Episode 9)

Blog_Those Awkward MomentsPreviously on THOSE AWKWARD MOMENTS: So Kevin’s mum takes him to see Jude in the hospital, in spite of the fact that siszilla Janet had made it expressly clear that he was not to show his face around there. Some major cojones, right? Well, fortunately for Kevin, Mummy Dearest must have had something over Janet, because the woman becomes the perfect little girl when she sees them. We don’t know what Mummy Dearest has up her sleeve against Janet, but before we can ask her, she slumps right there in the hospital. Right after Kevin goes in to see that Jude’s female ex is back in the picture, kissing him and everything. I mean, can’t a guy catch a break around here?

And that’s what you missed on Episode 8.

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“Shut up and stop lying! Do you take me for a fool!” Father barked as I cowered, dropping to my knees in front of him, my face down.

I quivered as I saw his trousers sag around his waist. He had just whipped his belt out from the waistline. And because he was a retired soldier, I whimpered at the expectation of the agony that was surely to come. Continue reading

BEING BRUNO (Episode 2)

Blog_Being BrunoRead ‘Being Bruno’ Episode 1 HERE

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When you were fourteen, your mother got a job as an auxiliary nurse at a private hospital a stone throw away from your house. Your mom was ecstatic with the appointment, and when she started work, sometimes, she took you to the hospital and let you stay in the changing room while she worked.

That was where you were that day, the 27th of May, sitting in the lone plastic chair reading Dean R. Koontz’s Watchers, when a blur of movement outside the window caught your eye. You tore your mind from the thrilling story of the smart golden retriever to the window. At first, you don’t notice anything out of the ordinary, just the normal view of the windows into the second-storey apartment of the next building (you could practically see everything in the rooms, given how close together the houses stood, a something commonplace in Onitsha). And then, your eyes moved to the verandah where he stood. Continue reading

LOVE AND SEX IN THE CITY (Episode 33)

Blog_Love And Sex In The City 02The eight weeks that followed my coming out to my sister went speedily by, and I didn’t take much note of the passage, because nearly every day was full. It wasn’t long after that first day at the Pan Atlantic University, when I met Oscar, before I was done with my enrolment for the Business School course of Human Resource Management. Earlier on, Dotun had told me of a foreseeable future, when he’d climb up another rung on the corporate ladder of Fit Plus’ management, and because he’d be given the option of a recommendation, he would want me to take up his vacated position. And to be a better candidate, I needed better educational qualifications than my First Degree.

I settled into my renewed schooling with some disgruntlement. My classes were scheduled for Saturdays, and it was with some displeasure that I kissed goodbye all those extra hours I luxuriated in bed on Saturday mornings. Oscar helped some. He had more classes on different days of the week, including Saturdays, and we endeavoured to spend time together during the breaks we got from our lectures. His company was a welcome change from the tedium of my lessons. We got along very well, discovering new characteristics we shared in common; on some level, I realized he was filling a void left gaping by the distance between my friends and I. Our conflicting schedules were starting to get more frequent, and those very precious Sundays I now had left, I spent either lazing at home, or reconnecting with my boyfriend. Continue reading

MY QUESTION ABOUT CHEATING

g44I’ve never dated a man whose faithfulness I couldn’t vouch for. But, more importantly, it has never bothered me what my boyfriends might get up to behind my back. I asked my first boyfriend, M, to cheat if he wanted to, if sex with me wasn’t great. Actually, it wasn’t at first – poor him! We were age mates but he was about eight years ahead in sexual experience. It was hard enough being a learner; it was worse feeling like I had to play catch-up to his level in the quickest possible time. (Tick-tock!) So, he had my permission to do as he pleased behind me. As long as we kept the relationship going; emotionally, I still needed him, and I know he loved me.

He turned down the bonanza, the idiot. Said he wouldn’t do it unless it was a threesome. I shrugged: his choice, his loss.

Now, years of watching people hurt and feel betrayed over being “cheated on” has left me with more questions than conclusions. These questions are based on an understanding of Love and Sex, and although the two are best together, this is not always the case. In English: two people can love without sex or “too much” of it (as in the case of my parents who I doubt still rip each other’s clothes off every chance they get); and two people can have regular sex without caring about each other (as in No Strings Attached fun).

My dictionary says cheating is when you secretly have sex with someone who’s not your partner. Continue reading

LOVE AND SEX IN THE CITY (Episode 28)

Blog_Love And Sex In The City 02“You skanky bitch!”

“I know, right,” I said with a chuckle, missing the venom in Adebola’s voice and misreading good humour in his words.

“You scheming little bitch!” he said caustically.

This time, I didn’t miss it. My head snapped around to face him and my eyes narrowed. “I beg your pardon?” I said.

“You guys never have enough, do you?” Adebola seethed. “You just can’t respect boundaries, can you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Bryson is my friend! My friend! And it was that friendship you ruined when you trotted your ass, like the shameless slut you are, in his face!”

“Excuse me!” I snapped, feeling my temper ignite. “Who the hell are you calling a shameless slut? And speaking of that night, perhaps you’d like to tell us next that it is possible for a dude to force his ass down on someone else’s dick when he’s not consenting!”

“You guys just can’t learn to leave my associations alone!” Adebola roared. Continue reading

Wives And Husbands in ‘How To Get Away With Murder’

tumblr_static_tumblr_static_2gnhr9bsydlwc4ksgs4sgsc4s_1280Okay, there’s really no point to this post. Just sharing a mild movie spoiler; it’s not a shade, not a lecture, no a gibe.

Over the weekend, a good friend of mine and fellow Kitodiariesian blessed me with a hard-drive-full of movies and series. Yes, I felt blessed, especially since I’d finally gotten my hands on the one series I’ve been angling to watch for so long – Shonda Rhimes’ How To Get Away With Murder (aka Murder).

And so far, that woman’s genius is still wowing me. You’d think she’s lost her touch after Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal. Anyway, I got to Murder’s Episode 3 (Okay, this is a bit of a spoiler o), and I watched this verbal fight I thought to share with y’all.

First a little background. There’s Annalise Keating, a law professor cum defense attorney, and five of her law students who also sort of interning for her law firm, assisting her in real cases. There’s particularly these two – Connor Walsh and Michaela Pratt, both of who don’t like each other very much. Not like any of the five like each other very much; they’re interns, currying to be the boss’s favourite. Connor is openly gay, and Michaela is engaged to be married to this cute dude, Aiden Walker, who makes an appearance in Episode 3. It turned out Aiden and Connor went to the same boarding school, and Connor, in his usual relentless taunting of Michaela, lets it slip that he and Aiden had had sexual relations way back when. So of course, the engaged young woman was enraged. Continue reading

TO BE YOUNG AND IN LOVE (Chapter 3)

6a00d8341c730253ef01910459cdba970c-500wiThe exam hall was quiet, peaceful and serene. Well, that was just the exam hall. I could see the anxiety and worry on almost all the faces I glimpsed. It was our second paper. Mathematics. I had almost not slept the night before; I made sure I was able to cover all the topics before sleeping. I was quite intelligent then, but Math was not so much my thing. I always had to study and study hard before I could correctly solve Math problems.

I looked across my seat to my far right and my eyes caught Umar’s. I knew that he wasn’t much of a book person, and he only read when he really had to. It was obvious that he hadn’t prepared well enough for the paper. Ibrahim’s seat was just three seats behind Umar’s. When he looked at me, he smiled and winked. I wondered if he was horny, because on a normal day, he wouldn’t even smile at me, let alone wink.

I faced my front when I noticed the invigilator approaching my seat with the exam papers, and my heart beat intensified as he got closer. He dropped one sheet on my desk and moved on. I flipped to the first page, and after going through the questions, my heart leaped for joy. Almost all of them were from the topics I had paid more attention to. I whispered a short prayer of thanks to God and descended on the questions. Continue reading