adminI’d just like to regrettably inform you guys that I’ll be taking a short leave from updating Kito Diaries. It’d be for just a couple of days, hopefully. This is to help the transition currently in progress from the wordpress forum the blog is presently on, to kitodiaries.com.

Please, do kindly bear with me. It is my hope that my Sunday, KD will be back on, but this time, on the new site. Thanks as always for your readership.


add_admin‘African on African… Black on Black… Minority on minority… The oppressed oppressing the oppressed. This can’t be xenophobia. There must be another name for this.’ – Kenny Badmus.

‘Women, poor people, people of colour, people with disabilities, immigrants, gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, trans people, intersex people . . . We compete with one another. We judge one another. Sometimes we betray one another. Sometimes even within our own communities, we designate who is best suited to represent us, and who shouldn’t even be invited to the party.’ – Kerry Washington.


It was supposed to be simple. Really.

People were supposed to read a post on an identifiable affliction and then commiserate. Share experiences in the comments section. Encourage sufferers. Offer solutions. And just generally spread goodwill. Continue reading


add_adminI know that Freedom Of Expression is a very valuable and catchpenny commodity in modern society, something the press and media hold dear and social media trolls revel in. And this post wouldn’t exist if that was all I had to talk about, because Kito Diaries has proven to be the home of everyone freely expressing their opinions, bandying them about and sometimes attempting to shove them down other people’s throats. All that I don’t mind. Oftentimes, these opinions have been marinated in cusswords and distasteful language. It’s a struggle, but I have made my peace with that too. It is something I’m after all guilty of.

But there is a line I want to draw.

Kito Diaries may be a hot bed of controversy, but it is what it is today because of the willingness of KDians to tell their stories and share them for the readership, delight, commiseration and admonishment of others. People who pen down write-ups, whether fiction, nonfiction or opinion pieces, know to expect either overwhelming support and pathos from the readers, or intense backlash for having something unpopular to say. And those who go ahead to write, in spite of the Big Bad Wolf known as KD commenters, are commendable. I know of some people who are still mining courage from within themselves to tell their stories, unsure what reaction to expect.

And indeed, all reaction is acceptable; freedom of expression is after all everyone’s precious toy to play with, right? Continue reading


Add_AdminWhen I was flirting with the idea of opening Kito Diaries, I informed a friend of mine, in order to get his reaction to the impending development, and he sneeringly told me: ‘It will just turn out to be another hook-up site for guys.’

I recoiled from his implication that ultimately, nothing matters to a gathering of LGBT except getting acquainted and the satisfaction of their sexual desires. I told him off for that presumption.

Yesterday, I got his ‘I told you so’ response.

Now, I have absolutely nothing against Kitodiariesians wanting to know one another outside the virtual world of the blog. Heck, I have made one or two friends from here, good people who I didn’t know before the advent of the blog. And nothing pleases me more than the freedom of interaction that thrives in this place.

But please – and I know my next words are going to be very unpopular with a lot of readers – this recent trend of littering the comment thread with blatant overtures such as ‘Hey, are you anywhere near FCT’ is inappropriate. There is a reason I exist as the Admin. There is a reason I keep making my email address available to everyone. If you fancy someone on the blog, kindly email me your interest, and I’ll make contact with this person, get feedback and pass it on to you. Some readers already know this, and have been sending me on these assignments Behind The Scenes, without splashing their interests so publicly on the blog.

I’m kindly asking for this level of thirstiness to stop.

Please. Continue reading


cyber-bullying-poster“Free societies are societies in which the right of dissent is protected.” – Natan Sharansky

“Freedom is hammered out on the anvil of discussion, dissent and debate.” – Hubert H. Humphrey


It has become apparent that many people feel disillusioned by what they describe as the intolerance of dissenting views on the blog. The impression is that any opinion unpopular with the majority is instantly scrunched up, condemned to the dustbin and the offending commenter vilified.

For the purpose of clarification, it bears repeating: Kito Diaries is an open forum for all of us to share our stories, ideas, fears, confusions and joys. Most of the stuff we talk about here are things we cannot – dare not – share with the outside world, if we love our lives. Hence, we cannot flee the oppression of our opinions as imposed on us by those out there only to come in here and replicate the vice.

Nobody has the right to silence another person just because they do not agree with their opinions. I say this with the realization that I am also guilty of the offense. In KD, there is one hundred percent freedom to disagree. Disagree as fiercely as you can and be ready to be disagreed with too. Continue reading