Gay Law Student Puts Ex-gay Therapist In His Place

Scott-BlairThis, you guys have to read. Stories don’t usually start with, “Harvard University outed me.” This one does. When Scott Blair took the LSATs and checked a box on his Harvard application that he was gay, the university gay law student group called his mother’s house. She asked the reason for the call, and they told her, “Well, he’s gay and applied and we’d really like him to come.”

Below is an account of what transpired in the aftermath of his application by the gay law student, Scott Blair. Read and enjoy.

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My name is Scott Blair.

I’m from Ocean Grove, New Jersey. When you apply to law school these days, you can actually mark on your application if you are openly gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. And, you know, I put that down, because I figured, why not? I was. And I did pretty well on the LSAT and this information goes out to a bunch of law schools. And so Harvard’s gay law students group called my mother’s house because that was my address, and said, “We want to talk to Scott Blair.”

And she said, “Why?”

“Well, he’s gay. We know he’s applying to law school. We really want him to go to Harvard.”

And so we’re in the car at one point, and she goes, “Scott, I got this call from Harvard Law’s gay student group saying you were gay.” Continue reading

The Father Who Accidentally Discovers His Teenage Son Is Gay And How He Handled It

iPad_user_dreamstimeAs anyone who’s ever hopped on a friend’s computer or tablet knows, Google search history is an incredibly easy way of involuntarily snooping on the device owner’s current state of affairs.

And that’s how this story begins — Reddit user HeMeYou asked to borrow his 13-year-old son’s iPad and noticed a lot of old searches popping up along the lines of “I’m gay what now?”

Luckily, there are dads like this one out there in the world. He turned to Reddit to seek advice on what to do, posting:

‘I love him regardless of which gender he loves, in fact when I was slightly older than him I had a few flings with guys, which he doesn’t know about, so I am 100% supportive. He has seemed slightly down recently, as in, he isn’t as cheerful as he once was, and I desperately want to tell him that I love him regardless of which sexuality he is.

‘What are my options? Should I wait for him to tell me? Or should I make a few hints at it?

‘I’m worried that if I don’t hint at it, that he will be worried about something that he really doesn’t have to be worried about… if that makes sense.’

And even more luckily, there are people on the internet like the ones who flooded the thread with support and guidance. Continue reading

The World Hates Gay People Less Than Ever Before, Reports New Survey

g-stay1A new survey has found that acceptance of gay people is up in 90 percent of countries surveyed over the last 20 years.

Researchers at the University of Chicago and the LGBT think-thank Williams Institute at UCLA examined the results of hundreds of surveys on attitudes toward gay men and lesbians in 52 countries collected since 1981. What they found was that acceptance of gays has gone up by an average of about 1 percent per year since 1994.

“This study shows a clear trend toward increasing acceptance across the globe,” Andrew Park, director of International Programs at the Williams Institute, said in a statement. Continue reading

HIS COMING OUT STORY (Edition 2)

coming-out-of-the-closet”It’s only normal for you feel aroused.”

”But not when it’s a guy,” I replied.

”Listen, you’ve always liked girls, you can’t all of a sudden feel attracted to boys,” she countered.

This was the conversation that happened between my mum and I when I tried explaining to her that I might be gay. If only she knew, I thought to myself.

I was 14 at this time, and hadn’t realized what I was doing by telling her what I did. But I remember feeling an extreme need to tell my mum the way I felt towards my male friends, something she failed to grasp, or simply chose to deny. I was born into a religious, extended family; I have a brother and sister, but I have also lived with my uncles and aunties and family friends. Yes, my mum was quite the ‘philanthropist’.

Growing up gay, I had often deemed myself ”inadequate” and the ”disappointment” of the family. I love my mum and was always scared of how heartbroken she would feel if she found out her beloved son was gay. Yet it was a burden I couldn’t bear to keep to myself. Due to my religious upbringing, I had labeled myself the ‘ultimate disappointment’, both to God and to man. Growing up wasn’t the most pleasant of experiences. Continue reading

The Gay Divide

20141011_LDP001_0Originally published on economist.com

There was a teenager in Arizona in the 1970s who “could no more imagine longing to touch a woman than longing to touch a toaster”. But he convinced himself that he was not gay. Longing to be “normal”, he blamed his obsession with muscular men on envy of their good looks. It was not until he was 25 that he admitted the truth to himself—let alone other people. In 1996, he wrote a cover leader for The Economist in favour of same-sex marriage. He never thought it would happen during his lifetime. Yet now he is married to the man he loves and living in a Virginia suburb where few think this odd.

The change in attitudes to homosexuality in many countries—not just the West but also Latin America, China and other places—is one of the wonders of the world. Recently, America’s Supreme Court gave gay marriage another big boost, by rejecting several challenges to it; most Americans already live in states where gays can wed. But five countries still execute gay people: Iran hangs them; Saudi Arabia stones them. Gay sex is illegal in 78 countries, and a few have recently passed laws that make gay life even grimmer. The gay divide is one of the world’s widest. What caused it? And will tolerance eventually spread? Continue reading

That Piece About Love And The LGBT Community

Remember that Christian pastor that spoke of his unconditional love for his children, one which would not change even if they came out of the closet to him? Well, I was recently perusing his Twitter timeline, and I happened on a link that took me to a post on this blog, the one you’ll read below. He titled it ‘Distorted Love: The Toll Of Our Christian Theology On The LGBT Community.’ When I read that piece, I thought immediately about one person, a good friend of mine, Sensei. Sensei is very passionate about love amongst humanity, no matter the race, religion, culture or belief.

And it would seem Pastor John Pavlovitz agrees with him. Read below.

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sadgirlLove doesn’t always look like love.

When I published this blog post [Note: The blog post about his love for his children] two weeks ago, I was prepared for some people to applaud it, and for others to condemn it. That’s what happens whenever you put an opinion out there.

I was fully prepared for the waves of both support and hostility that accompany any vantage point on anything, especially a controversial topic like Sexuality.

What I was not prepared for in any way, were the literally hundreds and hundreds of people who have reached out to me personally, to thank me for bringing some healing and hope to their families. Parents, children, siblings, and adults have confided in me (some for the first time anywhere), telling of the pain, and bullying, and shunning they’re received from churches, pastors, and church members; from professed followers of Jesus.

Scores of people from all over the world have shared with me their devastating stories of exclusion and isolation, of unanswered prayers to change, of destructive conversion therapies, of repeated suicide attempts, and of being actively and passively driven from faith, by people of faith. Continue reading

AND THEN HE SAID TO ME…

singles 2We went to the same university, my paternal cousin and I. He was a couple of classes ahead of me, older, of course, than me, and treated me with the avuncular affection of a big brother to a younger one. He always gave me money and provisions whenever mine had depleted, and frequently asked me over to his place for sleepovers. He is tall, dark and handsome, and there were moments then, when I nursed a crush on him.

He graduated from school before me, and it wasn’t long before he relocated to the UK to further his studies. We kept in touch, and he continued to look out for me. A year or two after he left Nigeria, he apparently found his calling as a clergyman, and was soon ordained an Anglican priest.

For some illogical reason, I felt as though he had betrayed me.

This was around the period I’d just started getting disillusioned with my faith and the church. I had battled for so long to accept my sexuality, only to suddenly find myself facing the self-righteous indignation of the church. Disapprobation against homosexuality were starting to salt the teachings in my church, with priest after white-garmented priest standing at the altar and shaking his fist in condemnation of the ‘sin’ of man sleeping with his fellow man, and woman sleeping with her fellow woman. I refused to feel guilty about my desires. I refused to be torn up over my libidinous choices. And so, when it came down to a choice of the church and my sexuality, I found myself resenting the compulsory Sunday morning routines and sulking in the face of the crucifix that frowned down at me from the pulpit with sorrow-faced patronization.  Continue reading

That Piece About How To Be Queer In Your Church

gay-christian-500x380Written by Derrick Clifton, originally published in thoughtcatalog.com

It’s not easy being a religious queer person.

It’s even harder while part of a congregation that spews homophobia in pulpits and prevents LGBT people from attaining positions of leadership. Other churches go as far to deny sacraments like communion or other religious rites because of what they deem as “deviant” and “ungodly” lifestyles. And for those called to ministry, the roadblocks are plenty.

Though, in my own experience of reconciling my faith and sexuality, it took time for me to understand my own sense of spirituality. When I first came to terms with my identity as a gay man, there was hardly a night that I wasn’t anxious about how it may impact my faith beliefs and how I engaged church. So, in a quest to find answers, I rummaged dozens of websites and covertly found books in libraries to try and make sense of things.

Perhaps the most liberating aspect of that journey was that I found a new freedom — a freedom to explore my spirituality.

For the first time in my young life, I had to break free from being completely dependent on church sermons and ministers. And it wasn’t an easy process. In fact, it took years before I felt spiritually healthy and it’s still a work in progress. Continue reading

What The Christian Pastor Promises To Do If His Children Are Gay

1411955442876_wps_52_MUST_CREDIT_Pranee_LofferOriginally published on gaystarnews.com

A Christian pastor in North Carolina has been amazed by the reaction to one of his recent blog postings, in which he wrote about what his reaction would be if any of his children grew up and told him that they were gay

John Pavlovitz [pictured here with his family] is an 18-year local church ministry veteran. He is currently the pastor of a house church community called North Wake House Church, and also a volunteer at North Raleigh Community Church.

He is married to wife, Jennifer, and has two young children, Noah and Selah. He’s also a keen blogger, and a blog that he posted a short while back, entitled ‘If I Have Gay Children: Four Promises From A Christian Pastor/Parent’ has gone viral and prompted thousands of comments.

The reason? Because he believes he would treat his LGBTI children with exactly the same love and support as if they were straight, and would pray that they weren’t the victims of ignorance or hatred. Continue reading

Ten Things The Christian Learned About Gay People in Ten Years (Part 2)

7c623122Jesus talked about equality a lot; it made the powerful quite uncomfortable.

Written by Kathy, and originally published on canyonwalkerconnections.com

6. ASKING GAY PEOPLE TO DENY THEIR NATURAL SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS DESTRUCTIVE. Recall, homosexual orientation is no more a “behavior” than is heterosexual attraction.  Both are orientations, innate attractions. Reparative therapy (Exodus-type programs that offer results that take away “unwanted sexual attractions” or allude to a gay-to-straight conversion) treats homosexuality as if it were a “behavior” akin to other life choices like drug and alcohol usage, adultery, cheating and lying.

You would expect that the elimination of bad behaviors would result in life benefits.  However, if you force a gay person to “not be gay,” loneliness, depression, isolation and shame can result.

Some gay people do make a choice to live celibate lives.  This is called “Side B” for gay Christians; they come to a personal conviction that God is calling them to be celibate. This is not the same as the imposition of celibacy by an outsider for acceptance before God. Celibacy does not take away attraction; it only means a person is not engaging in sex. A celibate straight person is not “no longer straight” simply because they are not being sexual.  Likewise, a celibate gay person is not “no longer gay” simply because they are not being sexual. Continue reading