Hopscotch To Abuja

Abuja night lifeMost people I meet are through Instagram, so I can’t quite relate when people mention meeting people on grindr, manjam, and the like. I am Instagram addict, and that is because I’m a selfie addict. I take pictures like every time and everywhere. And on this particular day, I’d posted a picture of me shirtless and pouting on Instagram. Fifteen minutes later, a notification popped up. A comment against the picture post – ‘You are so cute, where are you?’ I checked out the commenter’s page, and saw that he was not a bad-looking dude. So I replied and told him to DM me instead of commenting on the picture. He did and subsequently asked for my BBM pin. We started getting acquainted on BBM, but he was the one asking all the questions in getting to know me. He didn’t give much detail about himself, only that he worked with the presidency and lived in Abuja. (Let’s call him Fola)

A few weeks later, I was on a short break from school. I am always happy whenever I have to be back in Lagos, because I get to have fun, go on dates, hang out with friends, and try new foods (Yea, I’m a foodie). It was a week to the end of my break when Fola pinged me, asking if I could come to Abuja. I promptly told him to book a flight for me, and I would be there. He agreed and said he’d send me my flight details by the weekend. Now, because of this potential face-to-face meet, I had to verify the dude’s market. So I showed his picture around to my friends, wanting to know if any one of them knew him. Nobody knew him. I was unsettled. I really wanted to go on the trip, but I couldn’t help the questions that nagged my mind, like, ‘What if this was a setup, or a ritual thingy? Or perhaps, he was into organizing lays for politicians…’

Questions, questions… Continue reading

MY DICK IS BIGGER THAN YOURS

g17I solemnly swear that I have no judgment for anyone’s lifestyle, no matter how debauched; I may be filled with distaste, but I will not give voice to my opinion, unless the individual is someone I care about, or the lifestyle borders on folly and destructive to other individuals.

The true story I’m about to tell is an instance of the second scenario.

I live in Abuja. That city, with all its sedate glitter, can fool one into thinking that there isn’t much that is shocking and dirty going on in its underbelly. I mean, any such decadence is what you’d expect to find in Lagos, the city where anything is possible. Not so in Abuja. Here, we are supposed to do things with a dignified pace. We should live dignified lives. Interact with dignified airs. Live in dignified surroundings. Have dignified sex. And well, break the rules in a dignified manner.

But the man I want to talk about is too much of a hot mess to be dignified. Continue reading

BUNKSIDE FRENZY (Episode 5)

The writer of this series, CeeCee would now like to be known as ‘Khaleesee’ (lol). That’s it. That’s the press release. 🙂 To catch up on previous episodes of Bunkside Frenzy, click HERE.

And now, for today’s episode . . .

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photoshootI bought the forms for the University exams, of course paid for by one of my numerous admirers. His name was Gilbert; he had just finished his one–year National Service and had immediately been employed by one of the major retail banks. I met him one evening while taking a walk with another friend when I was home on vacation, we chatted a bit and I didn’t pay him too much attention. The next morning, I woke up to find two missed calls on my phone. I called back and it turned out to be Gilbert on the other end, he told me the usual story of how he had fallen in love with me the moment he saw me with my friend and how he would love to see more of me. By now I was a seasoned expert at men issues, so I feigned disinterest for about four weeks during which he kept calling and trying to set up a date. Continue reading