RANTINGS OF A RANDOM (Gay) NIGERIAN (Entry 17)

Blog_Rantings Of A Random (GAY) NigerianDennis, why aren’t we dating?

I nearly choked on the pizza I was eating when she asked that question, all the while, staring me right into the eyes.

I was in Abuja for (yet) another wedding, and after the wedding, I decided to meet up with Jane, who is one of my oldest friends. She is one of the two women that I have a very strong friendship with, spanning several years. We have supported each other through so many things. Now the other girl knows about my sexuality and is totally cool with it, but I haven’t told Jane because I don’t think she can handle that information. In spite of her foreign education, Jane is very religious and constantly on an opium daze that clouds her perspective on a lot of issues. The other girl sef also told me not to tell her, at least not just yet.

So there we were, eating pizza and drinking coke, and she is asking me one of the questions of the century.

Jane:     I asked why we are not dating. My mom asked me that question the other day, if you and I are lovers, and I laughed her off. But then I took time to think about it and started wondering why I laughed it off.

I nearly blurted out that ‘Honey, we can’t date because I like men’, but I slapped my subconscious shut; one of those few moments when my head can overpower my tongue. Continue reading

The +++ Journals: Entry II

Blog_The +++ JournalsThe 21st of February was like every other Saturday morning. This meant I would probably wake up hung-over and foggy-brained from too much drinking the previous night. There would be a dull but persistent throb in my head, a dryness in my throat and sometimes a dark, often beautiful, but always naked body snuggled against mine. Or if I were less fortunate, I would have to deal it with an oblivious Josh who snored and threw himself carelessly from one end of the bed to another. So yeah, it was another typical Saturday. But it was just me in my bed this time. Hung-over. Naked. Alone.

Besides the overwhelming urge to pee and need to quench the dryness in my throat, the heat from the rising morning sun pushed me out of bed. I stumbled to the bathroom and did my business before opening my cabinet to get out some Panadol for the headache.

And there it was – the Home Kit. My nemesis was staring at me. Continue reading

Carl’s Existentialism II

Blog_Carl’s ExistentialismI lay on the desk, and pulled him toward me. We began to take our uniforms off while kissing each other ferociously. As one hand began to reach for his ass, and the other reached for his dick, I started to feel a sharp gust of wind. I became a little confused, not because the classroom doesn’t get drafty, but because there was suddenly too much of the draft, as though the wind was being introduced into the classroom from outside. I opened my eyes from paradise to take in my surroundings, and the next thing I saw horrified me.

We were not in the classroom. We were outside it, tucked in a shadowy corner and very nearly naked. I started to reason that it would be okay, as my lover-to-be continued caressing me, seeing as it looked as though we were the early ones for afternoon prep.

I was about to shut my eyes again and give myself away to the pleasure of lovemaking when I heard it.

“What the fuck are you faggots doing?” Continue reading

KIZITO SPEAKS V

Blog_Kizito SpeaksEver gotten to a point where the phrase “You are cute” has no effect whatsoever on you, where if feels like just any other phrase. In my case, it annoys me. I am good looking, I know. But hearing that compliment one too many times makes me sick. Gives me the feeling that the admirer just wants time in ‘my heaven’.

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“Follow your heart but take your brain with you.” I stumbled on this quote from an Ex one time. And I thought, he couldn’t be more right. I mean, I should have known better.

My previous relationships drained me. I was so in it to please my partners, I thought less of myself. And it didn’t even pay. Heck, now, I come first in everything. “Me” should be number one priority. Family comes first before Bae sef. (If you get where I’m coming from)

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Badoo is like the only hookup site I’m into. And it’s not so bad. I’ve met good people, ugly people, egocentric people, ignorant people, knuckle heads, bone heads, idiots, and far better/worse people through this app. Continue reading

RANTINGS OF A RANDOM (Gay) NIGERIAN (Entry 16)

Blog_Rantings Of A Random (GAY) NigerianI have often talked about my disdain for (many) civil servants; they are often the laziest, meanest and rudest bunch of people who to serve the public. I reckon I am generalizing as I have no empirical data to support this claim. However after having dealt with soooooo many of them, I think I can make this statement. In the course of my job, I interphase with lots of government agencies, and quite honestly, any day I have to go to any government agency is never a good day for me. I dread such days.

Let me share one experience with you guys. Very recently, I went to the Ministry of Health to sort out some issues regarding the HIV management programme of Rivers State that we are involved in. I needed to get some documents from the ministry which someone high up the food chain needed to prepare a report.  Now government offices are mostly labeled wrongly; so reading the signs to find the office that I was going to was a big fail. I also had to take the stairs to climb to the 12th floor of the secretariat. After my experience at NNPC office here in Port Harcourt, when my colleague and I were stuck in an elevator for almost thirty minutes, I made a mental note never to take the elevator in a government-owned building; besides I am very active so taking the stairs wasn’t so bad. Continue reading

Carl’s Existentialism I

Blog_Carl’s ExistentialismAre Secrets and Dreams compatible?

There is a new TV show called Secrets and Lies. It is basically about how a man finds a dead boy in the woods, and later becomes the prime suspect in the murder case. It’s a good show, and I’m recommending it. Why did I bring it up? Well, as the protagonist, Ben’s life is turned upside down by the detective in charge of the case – whose character I absolutely love – his secrets and everyone’s secrets around start to unravel. This begins the end of his marriage, good friendships, and for some time, his sanity, as sometimes, he can’t determine if he killed the boy or not.

Everyone has secrets. If you don’t, then I don’t suppose you have lived one second on planet earth. I have secrets too. A handful of them. The biggest one being that I’m gay, which I suppose you all know, since I am contributing to this blog and talking about hot boys. Continue reading

What’s On Your Mind… IV

Blog_What's On Your MindBased on the background information supplied in some KDians’ comments here, I’ve often wondered: Born This Way or Converted This Way?

A number of times on this blog, the issue of whether men are born gay or whether they are turned away from their ‘normal’ heterosexual yearnings and onto the gay path has come up. This is one issue that often twists and turns in my head like a loose bolt.

Some commenters have given instances of straight guys being turned gay after money, jobs or other favours were placed on the table to sweeten the deal. There have been insistences that these guys were totally straight previously and only agreed to be with a man on account of the material inducements.

Hmmm. Continue reading

Carl’s Existentialism: Pilot Entry

intro_about_us_01Hi, my name is Carl, and I am most certainly an addict. It has almost been a year since I wanted to contribute something for Kito Diaries, and I am ashamed to say that it was mere laziness and mostly school, and other activities that have prevented me from putting together any meaningful submission.

Before I begin whatever it is I’m going to write, let me just say that I have the most boring life. Lol. It basically consists of waking up, working out, eating, watching TV or reading, playing and fighting with my sister, eating, playing and fighting with my sister some more, then sleeping. And the next day, we repeat it all over again. Pretty boring, right? The only thing that usually saves me is when I’m in school. It is with much confidence that I let it be known that my post will not be a diary, but about my life, what I’m thinking, or an issue I would like to discuss because I feel categorizing will just diminish whatever little creativity I have.   Continue reading

RANTINGS OF A RANDOM (Gay) NIGERIAN (Entry 15)

Blog_Rantings Of A Random (GAY) NigerianA friend of mine had a very terrible kito situation recently; it involved some young guy who came over to his apartment for a night-over and left with some valuable stuff in the morning. My friend tracked him down to Uniport to ask for his stuff back (the tablet that was stolen was company property). Anyway, it got really messy and the police was involved and all, and eventually my friend parted with some money (a lot of money actually) to bury the matter. Anyway, after this unfortunate experience, he told me he was “quitting being gay.” I asked him if it was a switch that can be turned off and on, and he said that yes the feelings won’t go away, but he would no longer be involved with men,

“What has this thing fetched me Dennis? All troubles… I had an extra year in school… I eventually graduated with a Third Class… To get a job was war… Kito left, right and centre… Abeg, I am out!” Continue reading

The +++ Journals

HIV-1728x800_cFOREWORD: Coming on the heels of the conclusion of Bobby’s Before I Die series, and here to share Tuesday mornings with Reverend Hot’s Those Awkward Moments, is another riveting real-life story about a KDian living and journeying through life with HIV. It is stories like this that make me proud of what we’re doing here on KD. Read below, be inspired, and share your thoughts below.

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People always say that the very beginning is the best place to start, and I agree with them. So it was only natural that I would try and find my own ‘Once upon a time’ over the past few weeks. But I have tried and tried, searched old diaries and my fickle memory to the very day when it all began and why. Yet I can’t seem to. Perhaps this is because, for me, there are so many beginnings that I cannot tell which is relevant anymore. Or it could be because I have wandered so far off that even if I tried to retrace my steps, I couldn’t.

So I’m starting from here, this lonely Sunday evening, sitting here and typing my very first journal entry. Hopefully I can pick up the pieces as we travel along.

My name is Temidire Oluwadurotimi Cole and I am HIV positive.

Wow.

HIV Positive.

Plus (+). Continue reading